‘Lucha Underground’ Review (July 18th 2018)
Welcome to this week’s Lucha Underground review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we’ve got lots of great action to cover, so let’s do so.
Match #1: Dezmond X beat Paul London w/ The White Rabbit Tribe – Gift of the Gods Aztec Medallion Match
This match didn’t go very long, but it was good, wacky stuff. X didn’t make much of an impression with his personality, but he could always try for a stoic demeanor thing (he’s got a stare that even a corpse couldn’t beat). London must get a chuckle every now and then when he considers he once couldn’t stop laughing on camera during the “Vince McMahon died in a limo vignette”, but has ended up going farther down the rabbit hole of bizarre booking then Vince will ever attempt. Speaking of rabbit holes, London’s “Alice in Wonderland” gimmick feels like some-thing out of a porno, but at least he gets to have a pair of those big sun-glasses that Johnny Depp wore in “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”. Maybe Dezmond X can do a Johnny Depp gimmick of dressing like a lesbian school principle and beating his wife while starring as Keith Richards’s worst nightmare in a Disney pirate movie? I hope Johnny Depp didn’t beat Amber Heard, because that is a terrible thing to do to any-one. Wait… how in the hell did I get on Johnny Depp… I probably shouldn’t put it like that, especially since I still can’t afford a back-space or a delete button for this computer. Any-way, this match had, for its brief run, some good action mixed with the freaky antics of the White Rabbit Tribe for a fun, kooky start to the card. Plus, X’s debut victory got him an Aztec Medallion, which is a great way to give a wrestler some real momentum.
Match #2: The Mack beat Mil Muertes, Ivelisse, Son of Havok, Dezmond X, Dragon Azteca Jr. and King Cuerno – Battle Royale For The Right To Remove A Wrestler From The Gift Of The Gods Match
This was a very short spurt of a match that made The Mack look like a million bucks and Mil Muertes like a vicious monster. Mil eliminated most of the people from the match, but when Havoc and Mack were the last men in the ring, Havoc threw himself out to make Mack the winner. I don’t get why Havoc would do that when he could win and just not remove Mack from the Gift of the Gods match, but maybe they have a plan for this.
Match #3: Vibora w/ Kobra Moon beat Johnny Mundo w/ Taya Valkrye
This was the best match of the show. Vibora is like Vince McMahon’s wet dream, as he has a mask, is tall, very strong, has lots of wrestling talent and looks like he just blasted out of a Mortal Kombat game (which I always thought was a WCW thing, but who cares). This was a very vibrant match that had one big action sequence after another, which did put this a bit closer to a stunt show than I might like, but at least it was a really good one. Vibora went for this great Choke-Slam/Power-Slam combination that put Johnny out after the whole bout came to an exhaustive end. Well, would you look at that. I bet if I did a few more sentences with actual wrestling moves being mentioned, then I might sound like a legitimate wrestling reviewer. Hammer-Lock, Pile-Driver, Arm-Bar, Head-Lock and Burning Hammer… well… nope, it just sounds like a bad strip club and what happens after it all goes to hell. Any-way, cracking good match, eh (this is a European site, so I’ve gotta speak the native tounge)?
Match #4: Main Event – Pentagon Dark beat Cage – Lucha Underground World Championship Match
This match was a step behind the last in terms of pure entertainment, but this had more psychology, which I always go for. Dark has been one of wrestling’s best since he arrived for the first season of Lucha Underground. I love the way Pentagon Dark feels like a living taboo… that sentence sucked. One day, I’ll be able to afford to erase my bad work… one day. I once read a review of Pentagon’s work that equated him with “Stone Cold” Steve Austin and that seems to be a pretty good summary of his worth in this day and age. Cage, who is more like Brock Lesnar wrapped in Goldberg bacon, has been on a tear all this year and really has gone much farther than he ever has before. Cage always looks like he wants to maul his opponents, which might actually happen, given the way Lucha Underground books its cards. As main events go, this was a good one to go out on.
News of the Night:
- Jack Evans wants revenge on/sex with Sonny Kiss.
- Ricky Mundo’s doll wants him to, presumably, kill Jack Evans.
- Ricky Mundo probably killed Angelico… maybe he got some help from Invader (I hear he knows some-thing or two about murder… allegedly).
- The Mack got rid of Mil Muertes from the Gift of the Gods match and Mil attacked every-body. Mack claimed that Mil “scared the shit” out of him. There may be a feud between Mil and Mack for the future.
- The feud between Cage and Pentagon Darl will likely continue, due to Cage attacking PD again.
Final Verdict: This was an excellent card with lots of action.
