‘The Terrible Two’ Review
Stars: Ariana Baron, Arielle Breslerman, Billy Lewis, Cari Moskow, Reid Doyle, Donny Boaz, Shane Callahan, Devin McGee, Karen Labbe, Maureen Mountcastle | Written and Directed by Billy Lewis
The Terrible Two follows Albert and Rose Poe as they approach the first anniversary of the death of their daughters, Addi and Jade. As the day comes and goes, Rose continues to struggle to come to grips with the loss of her only children. She begins hearing the girls’ voices throughout the house. The whispers lead her to the attic where she discovers an old manuscript with shocking revelations. After reading the book and looking into the history of the house, secrets are revealed that something sinister is happening within the walls, something that led to the deaths of Addi and Jade. Soon Albert and Rose find themselves prisoners of their precious little girls in “the safety” of their own home.
Part Annabelle, part The Amityville Horror, The Terrible Two is another example of a film made possible by crowdfunding – running an Indiegogo campaign way back in 2015. It’s also an example of an idea being better than the execution. Mainly thanks to the derivative subject matter, already done to death in a myriad of [better] films. The film even rips off Sinister’s rickety 8mm “flashback” footage for christs sake! Honestly there’s not an ounce of originality anywhere to be found here.
Hauntings by creepy kids and creepy dolls… Not exactly the most original of horror tropes but one that, if done correctly, can be VERY effective. The Terrible Two takes things further by not only having both of those but also throwing in references to “Legion,” a demonic entity that not only possessed the former owner of the Poe’s home but was responsible for the accidental (yeah, right) death of their children! That could have made for a truly interesting take on what is now a huge horror cliche, but instead the idea of “Legion” is wasted on yet another generic reason for a haunting and a crappy CGI “shape” appearing on a rooftop! To me the term legion conjures up visions of pure evil, demons straight from the bowels of hell; not depressed mothers walking round thier house in a funk whilst acting more like a stroppy teenager.
And that’s The Terrible Two‘s main problem. The performances. There’s zero connection to either Rose or Albert Poe, neither actor managing to generate any sympathy or pathos. Which means the audience is never going to make the emotional connection needed to feel worried for the pair. Their performances are so wooden that, even when under attack, you’ll be rooting for them to be killed rather than saved – just so you don’t have to sit through more insufferable acting.
OK, so images of little girls running round a house in brightly coloured masks (as seen in the poster above) wielding knives and cocking their heads to one side eerily may LOOK cool but that imagery is not worth sitting through the rest of this cliched-filled film for, just stick with the poster…
Sadly by the time The Terrible Two gets to the truth of the Poe’s situation and all is revealed, when – as you probably guessed – they realise they were sold a bad bill of goods in their house (yes, the strange behaviour of the real estate agent wasn’t just bad acting), and are in fact living in a house FILLED with Satanic power, you won’t really care.
