24th Jan2016

Royal Rumble 2016 – Our Predictions

by Paul Metcalf


So, tonight is the Royal Rumble and we are all likely to be annoyed with the way the big match will end. We’ve all watched it over the years and we know that WWE has plans that will run up to Wrestlemania. While the biggest event of the year often ends on a high the Royal Rumble tends to be the victim of the big backlash, and why is this? Simply put, for the setting up of the big Wrestlemania event you have to set up the face vs heel conflict and that means things won’t go how we want.

So, how will the Rumble royally piss us off this year? Here are some cynical predictions that may just become true:

  • Triple H steals the belt: Triple H enters the Rumble and manages to win the belt, thus setting up Roman Reigns (maybe) vs. Triple H for Wrestlemania? You can hear the ego straining against the constraints of originality right there can’t you?
  • Vince Does it instead: Too old to enter the Royal Rumble? Never say McMahon is too old (even if he is). If there is one more person who could annoy us more than Triple H right now it is probably Vinnie Mac himself.
  • Brock Lesnar: I put this into the list, but do you really think this would annoy us? I’m not sure…but if we want something interesting to happen, really they should mix things up a little and make Lesnar come close, but not close enough.
  • The Rock makes a surprise return: setting up Wrestlemania, Roman Reigns vs The Rock? We already know who would win Wrestlemania, so it is just a chance to complain yet again
  • Daniel Bryan makes a return, gets thrown out of the ring straight away: Not really a “win” but I thought I’d stick this in here because it may just happen.
  • Shaemus….just Shaemus: He wins it, the crowd goes silent…then mocks his hair.
  • John Cena: John Cena enters the ring, we hear how he is the WWE Superman a few times, Michael Cole marks out, the crowd chants “Cena sucks” while he just smirks as usual.
  • The double finish: Roman Reigns and whoever Triple H picks to win both are marked out as the winner setting up the next PPV…because why not?
  • NXT Squash: NXT wrestlers enter the ring to huge reaction, get thrown out of the ring quickly to show them their place. Fans boo accordingly knowing it is bullshit.
  • No Bullet Club: WWE are hyping them, they know we want them to appear…why the hell would they give the fans what they want?
  • CM PUNK: It. Won’t. Happen.
  • WWE gets it wrong: They won’t really get it wrong, it just won’t be what some fans want. This will mean that they failed again, because the Internet says so.

Remember that these predictions are just done for fun and just something a little different from the usual predictions that are normally thrown out every year. So don’t get too annoyed that I’m being so cynical, it’s just the way I am. Do you have any more predictions that are better than mine? I bet you do, because I think these kind of suck. Though I predict more than one of them will come true…

Originally posted on PissedOffGeek

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