‘A Stalker in the House’ Review
Stars: Veronika Issa, Jack Pearson, Nick Ryan, Jared Cohn, Michael DeVorzon, Scout Taylor Compton | Written and Directed by Jared Cohn
A Stalker in the House starts remarkably abruptly, with an argument between a couple that – due to how it’s shot, performed and presented – feels like we’re watching a cheesy soap opera; as if the camera will pull out any second to reveal that we’re watching what one of this films characters is watching. But no. It’s just that A Stalker in the House is filmed with a kind of ridiculously glossy sheen that makes it look like a TV soap, continuing throughout the film. Making the finished product feel more some cheap Hallmark TV movie than and indie horror thriller… A Stalker in the House even has the glorious over the top soundtrack these types of Hallmark “thrillers’ have too!
The film follows Mike, who is an absolute psychopath. Really. In the opening of the film he kills one woman then moves on to his next target, Jen, who he hooks up with on a dating app. Rebuffed by Jen after becoming too forceful, Mike becomes aggressive and the date is cut short… Thinking Mike is trying to make it up to her, Jen lets Mike call and text her but he, once again becomes aggressive. However little does Jen know that Mike is already obsessed with her and he does not intend to let Jen go so easily… Making Jen literally have to fight for her life.
Oh my god, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a film so cheesy outside of US TV movies! This film follows the familiar pattern set down by networks like Hallmark and Lifetime and takes it to the nth degree – amplifying the ridiculousness of those films to become an altogether more insane take take on obsession and stalking. The only thing that would make A Stalker in the House more insane would have been to feature a manic Nicolas Cage or Klaus Kinski in the role of Mike!
The oddest part of this entire film though is that it comes from writer/director. Jared Cohn who, to me, is probably best know for directing a ton of movies for The Asylum and much more exploitative fare. Checking out Cohn’s IMDb page however it looks as though – like many a horror director before him – he’s moved into more TV-centric fare and movies that, for all intents and purposes, feel like they’ve been inspired by the erotic thrillers of the late 80s and early 90s. So I guess A Stalker in the House fits his new oeuvre?
It also fits in the “why the f*ck is this (wo)man being so stupid” trope that marked out a lot of the erotic thrillers of the same era. Jen, played by Veronika Issa (Fast & Fierce: Death Race, Asteroid-a-Geddon), is – frankly – an idiot. There’s literally ZERO reason why anyone would keep inviting Mike back into their place given his stalker-isn behaviour… and Jen does it MULTIPLE times! Even going as far as sleeping with Mike even though she’s rebuffed him over and over and over AND calling him a stalker! She stupidly, according to Cohn’s script, sleeps with him to try and get him over his stalker tendencies?!?! WTF is not a strong enough acronym for it!
But hey, if Cohn was going for the over the top ridiculousness of Hallmark/Lifetime movies then he certainly captured that in A Stalker in the House. It’s just a shame Cohn didn’t take a less-glossy approach, this could’ve been a lot more than a cheesy TV movie wannabe… And who WANTS to be a cheesy TV movie?!
A Stalker in the House is out now on Digital and DVD from Uncork’d Entertainment.
