‘Nanoshark’ VOD Review
Stars: Darren Stevens, Mark Templin, Peter Whittaker, Ellen Mildred, Melanie Evans | Written by Trevor Payer | Directed by Brett Kelly
[NOTE: Nerdly’s Managing Editor Phil is listed as an Executive Producer on the following film, however that does not, and will not, affect the outcome of this review]
Does anyone remember a film from the 60s called Fantastic Voyage? It starred Stephen Boyd and Raquel Welch as doctors who were miniaturized and injected into an injured scientist to save his life by dissolving a blood clot. It was a fun, if silly, piece of big-budget sci-fi that was constantly on TV well into the 80s. Now the makers of Nanoshark, director Brett Kelly (Heavy Metal Werewolf, Ouija Shark) and writer Trevor Payer (She-Rex, Konga TNT), have given us an updated version, and not only has he done it for less than the original’s daily coffee budget, he’s added a shark, a nanoshark no less, to the plot as well.
As the Prime Minister (Darren Stevens; Jurassic Shark, Rise of the Black Bat), this is a Canadian film, is preparing to give a speech, his son collapses. Doctors determine that he’s the victim of a rare blood disease, so rare in fact that he’s the first person to get it. While conventional medicine can’t help the boy, the doctor (Mark Templin; We Are the Missing, Butchers Book Two: Raghor) tells him that unconventional medicine might be able to. And that’s where the shark comes in.
The plan is to miniaturize the shark and have it eat the bad cells, then send a sub in to capture the shark. Unfortunately, the shark ends up going into the janitor, with the sub and its crew, General Mannion (Peter Whittaker; Countrycide, Corporate Prey), Captain Erin (Ellen Mildred; Galaxy Warriors, Konga TNT) and Private Munro (Melanie Evans; Galaxy Warriors) in hot pursuit.
Brett Kelly’s films are a lot like Mark Polonia’s in terms of budget and quality, with incredibly, and intentionally, awful effects and a disregard for things like continuity and common sense. For instance, a submarine fitting in the scientists’ not very spacious lab, or a character washing their hands before trying to pull someone to safety.
Nanoshark is also filled with the kind of jokes that are as likely to make you groan as they are to make you laugh. A character named Al Batros, or a character revealing they have a swimsuit under their uniform and being told “That’ll look great in the trailer!”. And to be fair, it is indeed the highlight of said trailer.
And if those are the kinds of gags that make you laugh, you’ll have a great time with Nanoshark because it’s full of them. While I admit I chuckled a few times, most of the jokes were too silly for my tastes, though a couple of edibles might have changed that, but I try to watch what I review sober. Maybe I’ll try making an exception for films like this because I doubt most of the director’s fans are sober when they watch them.
Overall, Nanoshark will appeal to those who are already a fan of Kelly and his films, Those looking for something of the so bad it’s funny variety will probably get a chuckle or two out of it as well. Others may want to take a bite out of something else.
** 2/5
Nanoshark is available on Tubi and other Digital Platforms. And for those who prefer physical media, SRS Cinema has a DVD available.
______
