19th Oct2023

‘Three Blind Mice’ VOD Review

by Phil Wheat

Stars: May Kelly, Lila Lasso, Natasha Tosini, Samantha Cull, Danielle Ronald, Julia Quayle, Lynne O’Sullivan, Keith Eyles, Karl Hughes | Written by David Malcolm | Directed by Pierre B

We’re back in “fairytale” fear film territory once again for Three Blind Mice which, like Mary Had a Little Lamb, is based on the classic kid’s nursery rhyme and is the latest British horror film to take a beloved childhood “thing” and turn it into something terrifying. It’s also the second film from Dark Abyss Productions released by Uncork’d Entertainment this month – and the second film where the producer (whose name is ON THIS FILM!) told me to remove his name off the exclusive news piece I ran months ago where we unveiled the official artwork for BOTH films. Why? Because he, and I’m paraphrasing, thinks they’re both so terrible he doesn’t want them to “spoil” his career… Hard to do when the film you LOVE to be associated with is worse than those you don’t!

Enough about that, what about the film itself?

Three Blind Mice opens with a prologue that gets right into the action, with a swarm of killer mice taking out one character and another, Cassie (Natasha Tosini), finding her friend on a surgeon’s table – the location of the torturous antics of three human/mouse hybrids! Let’s just say this is one of the, if not THE most effective opening of any of these kinds of “childhood-ruining” horror movies – with a disembowelment that provides a fantastic shock value as the credits role.

The story then switches to Abi (played by the always fantastic May Kelly), who has a drug problem that’s tearing her family apart. So they stage an intervention – her mother, Jude (Lynne O’Sullivan), her father Keith (Keith Eyles), her brother Mark (Karl Hughes) and Abi’s best friend Lara (Lila Lasso) calling in expert Cara (Helen Fullerton) who suggests they all get away from the city and temptation, and take Abi to a cabin in the woods so she can get away from her troubles. However, as is often the case with genre films where people “escape” to the country, the family are not alone. Little do they know, Three Blind Mice is more than just a fairy tale or nursery rhyme…

Unfortunately, once our cast of characters get to the cabin the film descends into scene after scene of people bickering, shouting at each other and generally behaving like a family who hates each other! Oh, and it turns out Abi is not the only one going cold turkey, her dad Keith is off the cigarettes too! Another cause of arguments and stress for the family.

Thankfully it’s not too long before the aforementioned human/mouse hybrids show up, first taking out psychologist Cara as she goes off to get supplies then shooting Keith with an arrow as he argues with Abi in the woods. Sadly there’s not much tension in both scenes, especially compared to the prologue, but – and kudos to the effects crew on the film – when we do see the titular mice they’re so freakish looking you can’t help but wince and feel remarkably creeped out by their appearance.

The human/mouse hybrids also, whilst looming terrifying, also like to perform terrifying and GRAPHIC torture on the victims – such as gouging out eyes, burning flesh with acid and smashing in skulls with a mallet! And all of Three Blind Mice‘s effects, bar the appearance of the army of killer mice, are done practically! Which is astonishing given how low the budget for these kinds of films are; even more so when you see how good they are. There are no corners cut here at all, no poor lighting to hide any flaws in make-up or effects, we see EVERYTHING and graphic (and gory) detail.

Whilst the effects take Three Blind Mice to another level, for me though, like Mary Had a Little Lamb, this film is held together by May Kelly as Abi. Kelly follows a handful of actresses appearing in these low-budget, direct-to-DVD genre films that have been seemingly plucked out of obscurity – actresses like Sarah T. Cohen and Megan Purvis – and knock it out of the park in each and every film they appear in; improving with each performance, so much so that audiences will watch films for THEM and not the subject matter… Well, that’s at least the case for me!

It’s hard to believe that Dark Abyss Productions (and the producer who shall not be named) made two fantastic nursery rhyme/fairytale horrors back to back without either film suffering from a lack of budget, lack of script or lack of sheer, terrifying imagination. Mary Had a Little Lamb was a brilliant take on the slasher movie/backwoods horror, whereas Three Blind Mice is all about its titular monsters… with a SUPERB revelation at the film’s close that hits hard and actually adds much, MUCH, more motivation to the mice and the torture methods!

Whereas Mary Had a Little Lamb focused on the atmosphere and the sheer terror of its mask-clad villain, Three Blind Mice focuses on the monstrous behaviour – the gore and the grue – of its horrific trio of mutant killers; and I enjoyed BOTH films more than that “other” Disney-litigation-yet-to-come teddy bear horror that went viral earlier this year!

**** 4/5

Three Blind Mice is out now on digital from Uncork’d Entertainment.

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