18th Nov2020

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (Nov 17th 2020)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have the final match in the run of The Rascalz in Impact Wrestling. The Rascalz get the main event in a tag match with World Champion Rich Swann, who stares at his ass when he pees. I’m excited to see this match, but I don’t care about mountain goats. I’m ready to invent electric gummy pants and this show is on the road…TO RHODE IIIIIIIIIIIISLAND, BECAUSE IT’S ALL THERE, BLACK AND WHITE, CLEAR AS CRYSTAL! YOU STOLE FIZZY-LIFTING DRINKS AND BUMPED INTO A CEILING THAT NOW HAS TO BE WASHED AND STERILIZED, SO YOU GET NOTHING! YOU LOSE!!! GOOD DAY, SIR!!!!!!!!! Here comes Impact.

Match #1: Moose def. Willie Mack – No Disqualification Match (Referee Stoppage)

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

At Turning Point, Moose got himself disqualified with a brutal post-match attack on Willie Mack that forced the referee to reverse his decision after Moose won the match! Now these two athletic giants collide in a match with no disqualifications! Moose sends Willie over the guardrail and a loud thud is heard throughout the arena when his back meets the concrete. Moose continues to call out Rich Swann as he looks to send a message to the reigning World Champion. Back in the ring, Moose remains in control with a dropkick, followed by a strong Irish whip. Moose charges into the corner but Willie avoids him to create a window of opportunity. Willie fights back with a series of strikes. Willie connects with the standing Moonsault for two. Willie crashes and burns on the Six Star Frog Splash but connects with the Stunner. Moose comes right back with the Lights Out spear! Moose delivers repeated elbows until the referee calls for the bell.

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – While without certain technical graces, this was a heavy brawl that made great use of Moose’s large body and Mack’s wild nature. You get a lot of Moose smashing and thrashing ol’ Mack like a cheerleader at the Dairy Queen…she doesn’t eat food, jack! Jump! Go ahead and jump! So much of this was Mack taking a beating and Moose p*ssing all over the beaten body of his opponent. I liked the abrupt jostle of the whole fight and make no mistake about this looking like a fight. Moose dominated a game Mack in a slobber-knocker that may not have been in a class all its own, but it was a fight to remember.

Match #2: Suicide vs Gio (No Contest)

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

The Masked Marvel returns to the ring as he battles IMPACT newcomer Gio. The match is just getting underway when Eric Young and the recently debuted Joe Doering make their presence felt! Doering annihilates both Suicide and Gio, laying them out with an impressive flurry of offense. Eric Young gets on the mic and reminds the world that “this world doesn’t belong to them, it belongs to us.”

My Opinion: 1.3 out of 5 – This got a minute to do a little bit of something, but it never had a chance to go far, because this was just an excuse for Eric Young and Joe Doering to attack more people.

Match #3: Brian Myers def Crazzy Steve

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

At Turning Point, Crazzy Steve came to the aid of Swoggle after Brian Myers was looking to add insult to injury after their match. Steve hits a Hurricanrana in the early going. Myers turns the tide by driving him back-first into the steel ring post! Myers is firmly in control as he wears Steve down with a Sleeper. Steve builds momentum with a rolling senton in the corner, followed by a side Russian legsweep. Myers targets the eye of Steve, then capitalizes with his signature clothesline to score the victory.

My Opinion: 2.9 out of 5 – Myers and Steve had a basic grappler that was more interesting in the second half than the first, which is typical of a sound match. There’s nothing out of the ordinary here, but nothing terrible either. I’d love to see Steve do something to his gimmick, similar to Bray Wyatt and The Fiend, but not stupid. Steve is still young enough to be a marquee name if he were to make the modification to his gimmick. Maybe Steve does a thing where he calls himself “Psychotic/Deranged/Disturbed” or something like that and dress as a masked version of the Undertaker/Sting. Myers could wear a dress and be Jennifer Lopez. I AM JENNIFER…LOPEZ!!!!! WALALALALALALALALA!!!!!!!!! Okay, this match did not kindle joy and I am gonna beat the s—t out of the prick that thought of that stupid phrase.

Match #4: Havok & Nevaeh def Alisha & Tenille Dashwood w/ Kaleb With a K – Knockouts Tag Team Title Tournament

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

The Knockouts Tag Team Title Tournament begins as the odd-couple pairing of Tenille Dashwood and Alisha battle the longtime devastating duo of Havok and Nevaeh! Tenille and Alisha display great teamwork in the early going as they deliver a double vertical suplex to Nevaeh. Tenille adds insult to injury with the Dashwoogie, followed by the low crossbody in the corner. Alisha hits Havok with a wheel barrel Flatliner but Havok comes right back with a thunderous swinging slam! Alisha takes a page of out Tenille’s playbook with a low crossbody of her own to Havok! Tenille saves Alisha from the Tombstone Piledriver. Tenille avoids a clothesline by throwing Alisha into it as she retreats to safety. Havok and Nevaeh put Alisha away with an impressive double team finisher to advance.

My Opinion: 3.1 out of 5 – Alisha was the star here, believe it or not. She really stepped-up to the plate and hit the ball into the outfield. Alisha didn’t get a home-run, but she did run the bases and get some points in a game that was scoring pretty well on its own. The winning team stomped all over their opponents for a few minutes and it was a lot of fun.

Match #5: Hernandez def Fallah Bahh

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

The long feud over Hernandez’ stolen roll of cash reaches its conclusion tonight! Hernandez charges right at the opening bell and takes control with a slingshot shoulder block. Hernandez soars through the air with a massive dive over the top rope to the floor! Fallah builds up some speed with a running strike in the corner, followed by a Samoan Drop for two. Fallah attempts another one but Hernandez fights out and hits a top rope splash to win.

My Opinion: 2 out of 5 – These two hurt each other like Donny Belcher and his friend Gus Vannorman did when they fought until they bled to death. WEEEEEEEE!!!! Bahh Rosie O’Donnelled poor Hernandez… But you got some nice power moves here and it was good fun.

Match #6: (Main Event) Trey Miguel & World Champion Rich Swann def Dez & Wentz – The Rascalz Final Match in IMPACT Wrestling

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

After being evicted from the Treehouse, the Rascalz wrestle their final match in IMPACT Wrestling tonight. Wentz squares off with Trey as they start things off in a stalemate. Dez and Swann are next to compete as Swann takes control with a spin kick. Wentz hits Trey with a Bronco Buster in the corner. Trey connects with the colorful combination to his fellow Rascalz, Dez and Wentz. Swann hits a standing Shooting Star on Wentz but Dez breaks up the pin attempt. All four men exchange strikes in the middle of the ring as everyone gets taken out with superkicks! Dez and Wentz hit Hot Fire Flame on Swann but this time its Trey who breaks the pin! Trey flies off the top with double knees to Dez. Swann capitalizes with a superkick to Dez for the win. After the match, the Rascalz embrace and leave their jackets in the ring as their time in IMPACT Wrestling has come to an end.

My Opinion: 4 out of 5 – Well, this was some wild s—t. It starts out with a bit of comedy and some aimless spots, but we also got some good ground work and the like. Every-body worked their asses off to turn this into a kinetic match of epic proportions. There’s so much going on here with the action that all I can say is that it is best to just sit back, shut up and let yourself take this whole thing in. This was one of the most creative matches of the year and it shows from bell to bell. I loved this and I will miss The Rascalz.

News Of The Night:

  1. Eric Young and Joe Doering attacked Rhino and Heath.
  2. Su Yung is coming after Deonna Purrazzo, next week.
  3. Jordynne Grace is bringing in a retiring women’s wrestling star to be her tag partner in the Knockout’s Tag Tournament.
  4. The Good Brothers are bringing in a “Phenomenal” opponent to fight Ethan Page.
  5. Rich Swann defends the Impact World Title against Ken Shamrock, next week.
  6. The Rascalz are now out of Impact Wrestling.

Final Verdict: 3.5/5

The main event turned a middling show into an important one. I’ll miss The Rascalz.

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