17th Aug2020

Friday Night SmackDown – Aug 14th 2020: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Friday Night SmackDown review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we’re SMOKINNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! We’ve got The Tramp looking at that blind girl and biting his hand, because he’s a mute twit-dink! I’m so ready for all those pervs in foreign countries that have kids stolen and killed left to suffer a dismal fate of their own…by watching Tony Danza say someone else’s name! You know he can’t say anything but Tony Danza! Sound the alarm! SmackDown starts…NNNNNOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

Match #1: Asuka wins Triple Brand Battle Royal to earn SmackDown Women’s Title Match at SummerSlam

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

It was a chaotic and heated start to the Women’s Triple Brand Battle Royal, as a collection of the best across Raw, NXT and SmackDown for the opportunity to face Bayley at SummerSlam for the SmackDown Women’s Championship. Bianca Belair was the early standout, as her elimination of Tamina showed her ability to stand up to any challenge. Belair seemed like she might be headed for a breakthrough opportunity at SummerSlam, but Tegan Nox cunningly pulled down the ropes as The EST charged at her. Bayley attempted to tip the scales in a more favorable direction for herself, as she tried to yank Asuka off the apron. The Empress of Tomorrow responded with a sliding knee to both of “The Golden Role Models” and used the backs of her two rivals as a safety net after Baszler tried to push her from the ring. As one of the last two competitors remaining, Shayna Baszler tried to lock Asuka in the Kirifuda Clutch on the apron, but Asuka used her leverage to pull The Queen of Spades over the ropes and earn herself a second title opportunity at SummerSlam.

My Opinion: 3.3 out of 5 – While not much for action until it was down to Asuka and Shayna Baszler, this was a logical bout that favored the right woman. I would have loved to see Shanyna win this, but having Asuka in works for both drawing potential and a great surprise. I really just wanted to see Asuka and Shayna fight each other for twenty minutes, but who cares about what a PSHAW thinks. PSHAW!!!! You turn-coats probably thought that I would think that I would have thought that you thought I’d think you thought I’d think you thought about thinking about what you’d thought about. Bullsh*t! I thought that this match was a fun way to get women fighters from all three brands on one show…smart-ass.

Match #2: Sheamus def. Shorty G (Chad Gable)

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Shorty G found himself back in Sheamus’ bad graces last week after inserting himself into The Celtic Warrior’s showdown with Matt Riddle. Shorty G tried his best to cut down his towering competitor, but Sheamus’ strength proved too much for the challenger. The Celtic Warrior set himself up for another crushing Brogue Kick to Shorty G.

My Opinion: 2.7 out of 5 – Gable got squashed for four minutes by The Irishman, who looked old the whole damn time he was in that movie!

Match #3: Gran Metalik def. Shinsuke Nakamura

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After Cesaro dispatched of Lince Dorado, the other two members of their respective tandems went toe-to-toe as Gran Metalik and Shinsuke Nakamura battled on the blue brand. Lucha House Party angered the SmackDown Tag Team Champions by placing their hands on their titles backstage. Nakamura built on that anger early with repeated attacks on his opponent. As The King of Strong Style seemed to be building toward a win, Kalisto made a stunning return and went straight at Cesaro to provide a distraction. Gran Metalik walked the ropes and delivered a devastating elbow to secure the win. Fire up the music because Lucha House Party is back and bumping.

My Opinion: 2.5 out of 5 – Shinsuke did his slow-blinking thing for five minutes and Gran searched for the letter “d”. There’s some nice action in here, but I hate accountants, so screw this match.

Match #4: (Main Event) Big E def. John Morrison

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After RETRIBUTION derailed the start to their match earlier in the night, Big E and John Morrison once again met with blue brand Superstars flanking the ringside area hoping to prevent another disturbance. The New Day member looked to keep his singles run rolling with a win over another member of the self-proclaimed “Greatest Tag Team of the 21st Century,” and he took it to The Guru of Greatness early with a thunderous splash on the apron. As the battle raged, the lights began to flicker, and another RETRIBUTION attack seemed imminent. A new incident sparked up backstage, however, as the perplexing faction attacked officials and destroyed the backstage area. SmackDown Superstars charged toward the group as they escaped, and Big E dug deep to regain control of the action in the ring. After finishing off The Miz with the same maneuver, Big E locked in the stretch muffler submission and forced Morrison to tap out.

My Opinion: 2.8 out of 5 – This was butchered by commercials, but what little of this I did see was really strong wrestling from two guys who I’ve been having wet dreams about lately. Why can’t this have gone on longer, or been on camera, at all?

News Of The Night:

  1. Braun Strowman attacked Alexa Bliss to provoke Bray Wyatt.
  2. Abyss debuted as AJ Styles’s manager of sorts (as Joseph Park).
  3. AJ Styles will wrestle Jeff Hardy for the Intercontinental Title at SummerSlam.
  4. Chad Gable turned face, but Baron Corbin exploited it for the chance to attack Matt Riddle.
  5. This show was rated TV-14, which may be the start of a trend.
  6. RETRIBUTION did more faux nWo/Nexus attacks that were noisy, but not cool…bro.

Final Verdict: 2.4/5

There was some action in here, but the matches were too short and never really went anywhere.


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