30th Jan2019

How to Deal with a Difficult College Roommate

by James Smith

There is nothing more frustrating than living with someone you outrightly dislike. This is the situation that most college students find themselves in. When you are paired with a stubborn college roommate, you find yourself stuck between a hard place and a rock. Some students opt for alternative residence instead of having t deal with such a situation. However, not everyone has the luxury of multiple residences in a single semester. The best option is to find a way of dealing with such roommates. You can actually live happily and get to enjoy your college life with someone you hated at first. The first thing you should aim at when living in a student hostel is to make peace. Once you have peace, you can walk through any kind of disagreement with your roommate. Here are some tips to help you deal with any kind of roommate no matter how stubborn they are.


1) No aggression

Most students make the mistake of trying to solve issues with violence. Aggression will only aggravate the situation. Direct confrontation will lead to increased tension between the two of you and further complicate the situation. If you want to have an enjoyable college life, try approaching your unbearable campus colleague in a friendly manner. Avoid direct confrontations and stick to sober communication. If you have anything you feel needs to be ironed out, speak to your mate on friendly terms and with a calm demeanor. Even if you are already frustrated with his or her actions, don’t show your frustrations openly. Try lowering yourself to his/her understanding. Once you can speak, it is easy for you to have an understanding and create peace.

2) Say it right

According to the HuffPost, Communication is an important aspect of maintaining a healthy relationship. There is no doubt about the fact that there are many things you would wish to communicate with your frustrating roommate. However, the way you say it matters a lot. Make sure that even if you have a complaint about his/her behavior, it does not sound like an ultimatum. Speak to your roommate in a language that best explains the situation in a friendly way. Make him understand that his actions are affecting your stay together. Try to make him/her reason with you and understand your situation. When you say it in the right manner, your roommate is likely to listen to you and change.

3) Be able to make compromises

When you are living with someone, whether it is your brother, mother, friend or spouse, you must learn to make sacrifices. Compromise does not mean that you are defeated or weak, but it shows that you are willing to sacrifice one thing for another. Compromise is the true measure of maturity. You may be thinking that your college roommate is stubborn when you are the stumbling block to peaceful coexistence. If you feel that the room is not habitable for studies, try using the library or explore other options. Before you start a confrontation, you need to ask yourself these questions: Can you do your studies somewhere else? Can you try this essay writer service? Can you do without writing that paper? If you realize that there are other options available, avoid the confrontation and chose a much simpler option.


4) Try to make a cleaning schedule

In most cases, disputes amidst university flatmates are about simple issues such as completing chores and inviting guests without permission. A simple schedule can solve most of the problems you are facing. You can create an all-inclusive schedule that includes cleaning the apartment, doing laundry, and cooking if you do cook. If your roommate is unwilling to cooperate, incentivize them by taking more duty days. For instance, you can clean for 4 days a week and let them clean for 3. This will help create harmony among yourselves and give you peace. A Teenvogue publication suggests that you must put the schedule in writing so that both parties remember their duties.

5) In case of a problem, find arbitration

Problems between two roommates may go overboard. If you feel that the level of dispute in the room is beyond your control, try talking to a third party for arbitration. You should avoid seeking arbitration from student hostel management at first. It is advisable to use a peer to peer solution to the problem. You can talk to one of your roommate’s friends and ask them to try and solve the situation. If you can reason with his/her friends, chances are that you will find a solution faster than you think. However, if things get totally out of hand, you will have to involve student bodies and hostel management. The management will help you find a solution to your dispute. If things turn out to be messy, you will have to live by the rules other than mutual understanding.


Bottom Line

For you to enjoy your college life, you must find a way of relating with your college roommates on friendly terms. Make peace with your roommate right from the first-day no matter how stubborn he/she might be. Use your wisdom when trying to solve situations while avoiding aggression. Stay sober and calm in all your communications. Communicate your frustrations in a sober way without sounding judgmental or vindictive. Help your roommate understand your point of view so that you can all live in peace. According to some sources, most students make the mistake of assuming the roommate already knows the problem. It is important to open yourself up and speak out instead of sleeping over the problem. If your disputes get out of hand, find an arbitrator.

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