09th Jul2024

‘Amp House Massacre’ Review

by Jim Morazzini

Stars: Dallas Hart, Kara Royster, Pedro Correa, Cassandra Scerbo, Chris O’Neal, Ana Osorio | Written by Amanda Ashley Mies, Ana Osorios | Directed by Dame Pierre, Mike Ware

If you’re going to have an Amp House Massacre, first you need to have an Amp House. Mario Stillwell (Dallas Hart; The Curse of Sleeping Beauty, Peripheral), the biggest YouTube influencer in the world, provides that. Having made millions with his videos, he buys a mansion for himself and Janelle (Kara Royster; God Friended Me, A Party to Die For) and dubs it Amp House.

Now they, along their entourage of famous for being famous internet celebrities including, Hunter (Pedro Correa; My Dead Dad, Phone N’ Bone 2.0), Tiffany (Cassandra Scerbo; Requiem for a Scream, The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time), and Lonnie (Chris O’Neal; Greenhouse Academy, Swindle) have a place they can use for filming all their obnoxious videos, of which we see as seemly never ending montage of leading up to a lavish first anniversary party. A party that ends with Mario floating face down in the pool, dead from an overdose. And then another montage of tribute videos following it. This may be the most horrifying part of Amp House Massacre, but not for the right reason.

Directors Dame Pierre (You Hittin Dat, You Married Dat) and Mike Ware (PrXde) and writer Amanda Ashley Miess (The Power Couple) put themselves in a bind before Amp House Massacre even starts. By making their cast of potential victims influencers of the most obnoxious kind, they’ve all but guaranteed a large part of the audience will be cheering for the killer.

Perhaps realizing this, they add Amanda (Ana Osorio; Demente Criminal, Law & Order: Organized Crime), whose videos deal with working through her depression. She seems like an odd addition to Amp House, but “People really eat that vulnerable shit up.” Unfortunately, nothing is really done with her character except have her be one of the most obvious red herrings in recent memory.

Given how unlikable the rest of the cast is, Amp House Massacre really needed to get to the killing quickly to keep viewers interested. And thankfully, at the half-hour mark, the cast finds themselves locked in their high-tech mansion by someone who seems all too familiar with both it and them. Familiar enough to deactivate the account for the house’s security system and take control of it themselves.

And also familiar enough to know their dirty secrets, and threaten to kill them if they don’t play along with their games. Which, of course, results in them being killed anyway. Unfortunately, neither the games nor the secrets, are anything unique or shocking. Unless you call stealing from each other and infidelity shocking.

It’s rare to see a good horror film about influencers, but I haven’t seen one this bad since Slasher Party. And this lacks even the celebrity cameos and audacious reveal of the killer’s identity. This is a bland rehash of slasher clichés infused with clichéd characters lifted from other influencer films and the weakest seasons of Big Brother.

Actually, about the only original thing about Amp House Massacre or its killer is their LED encrusted mask which does look cool, Occasionally the lights form something interesting or relevant, but mostly it’s just a nice-looking gimmick. By the time the film limps to its predictable conclusion, the only thing that’s likely to stay with the viewers is some unintentional humour whenever a couple of the cast members try to cry or show anger.

The killings certainly won’t stay with you, there’s nothing new about any of them and, apart from some blood, they’re pretty much effects-free, which is fitting for a film that’s pretty much entertainment-free.

* 1/5

Amp House Massacre is available on Digital Platforms via 4Digital Media.
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Review originally posted on Voices From the Balcony

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