15th Sep2021

WWE Raw – Sept 13th 2021: Second Opinion

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s WWE Monday Night Raw review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have what could be, if Vince sticks to the plan, one of the, if not the biggest Raws of the year. I believe we have Damien Priest defending the US Title against Jeff Hardy and a WWE World Title Match between Bobby Lashley and Randy Orton. That being said, Big E has said he plans on cashing in Money In The Bank on the WWE World Champion to finally become the champion himself. I’m excited to see if this all goes well. Theodore Buggerphuck: I’m not! Me: Oh good God! What do you want? TB: I hate things! Damn them! Damn things! Me: Be careful Buggerphuck. You don’t know what you’re in for. TB: Blow me, chicken-noodle! Kevin Von Erich: He’s right. TB: Kevin Von Erich?! KVE: If you embrace this reckless hate, the evil you unleash will…too late. TB: What?! What?! WHAAAAT?!?!?!?!?! Ted Nugent: HOOAH!!!!!! HOOAH!!!!! Me: Now look at what you did! Look at what you have done! TN: HOOAH!!!!!! Michigan is better than Jersey! Jersey sucks ass! HOOAH!!!!! KVE: We’re doomed. TB: Actually, I like him. Me: Okay! We’re off to save the world…and Raw starts now!

[Author’s Note: Riddle, who is accused of rape, is on this show and if that alarms or upsets you then viewer discretion is advised].

Match #1: Charlotte Flair def. Shayna Baszler

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Shayna Baszler set out to prove herself against Charlotte Flair after appearing to bury the hatchet with Nia Jax. The Queen of Spades gave the Raw Women’s Champion a run for her money, but further miscommunication with The Irresistible Force gave way to another Flair victory when The Queen hit Baszler with a big boot.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – This was good stuff. It got cut off by the abrupt finish with Nia Jax doing the stupid standing on the apron bit that Shayna did to her last week. Up until that point, we had some fine grappling and excellent transitional elements here. This was… Kevin Von Erich: The vortex is open. We have to… Theodore Buggerphuck: I don’t wanna! Ted Nugent: Hey b–ch! I’m gonna smash you assholes! KVE: He’s getting bigger! TN: I’m gonna…I gotta fart…PLXPLXPLXPLXPLX!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! BOOM!!!!!!!! TB: Oh s–t! He exploded! Ahhhhhhhh… Me: Huh. Ted’s head fell on Buttf–ker. KVE: That solves that problem. Me: We don’t have to go to Jersey now? KVE: Nope. We’re fine. Me: Oh. Well, I’ll see you later. KVE: Yep. See you around. Me: What a nice guy. Wait… KVE: Yeah? Me: What about your brothers’ souls? KVE: Eh. I’ll send them an Uber. Me: Works for me. You know what else worked for me? …this match. What a bitchin’ little match. It’s bitchin’!

Match #2: Drew McIntyre & The Viking Raiders def. Jinder Mahal, Veer & Shanky

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Drew McIntyre joined forces with Erik & Ivar for a massive Six-Man Tag Team Match against Jinder Mahal and his cohorts, Veer & Shanky. The Scottish Warrior and The Viking Raiders proved to be a formidable trio and finished off their mission in the form of a Claymore by McIntyre on Shanky to earn the victory.

The Verdict: 2 out of 10 – Meat Loaf: Heaven can wait….and so can this poop…’cuz I got some tootin’ to do! Me: Thank you, Meat Loaf. This match sucked s–t. It was just Drew hitting things. He hit them well, but that’s not enough for a match. Meat Loaf: Toot! Toot! Toot! Toot! Toot! Me: I concur! This match was a toot! Meat Loaf: Toot! Toot! Toot! Toot! Toot! Meat Loaf and I: Toot! Toot! Toot! Toot! Toot!

Match #3: Damian Priest def. Jeff Hardy – WWE United States Championship Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After having his United States Championship Open Challenge answered earlier in the day by Jeff Hardy, Damian Priest came ready for the fight. The Archer of Infamy and The Charismatic Enigma went back-and-forth all while Sheamus looked on from the announce table. Priest retained his title after connecting with Reckoning and managed to stave off a post-match attack from The Celtic Warrior by nailing Sheamus with his very own Brogue Kick.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – This got shut down just as it was gettin’ good, but before the premature end, this was kickin’ some ass. I liked the urgency of how they attacked each other. It really felt like both fighters wanted to win, as opposed to performing for the crowd. Jeff’s unique moves countered the sudden offense of Priest, who is just as unique. This was so different from anything that’s been on WWE cards this year. I never knew what the next step of the match was going to be and that was thrilling. You gotta have these two fight again. Give them time on PPV and let them go nuts. As for this match, you should give this a go.

Match #4: Nikki A.S.H. def. Tamina

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Stemming from a heated backstage altercation, Nikki A.S.H. set out to vanquish her latest villain, Tamina. The Almost Superhero slugged it out with the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champion and earned a stunning win for the former Raw Women’s Champion over Tamina.

The Verdict: 4 out of 10 – This had a faltered finish it seems, as Nikki won, but Tamina was announced the winner. Before all that, these two had a solid smack-around of a fight that was starting to get into the nitty-gritty of the kind of match these two could have together, but it all ended abruptly with the finish. McCoco, The Peasquook: KaDumb! Me: Yes, it was…KaDumb. McCoco: Choo…KaDumb! Me: Why you feathery son of a b–ch! I ain’t KaDumb! McCoco: KaDumb! Me: I’ll Kentucky Fry your lard-ass…after I choke you! McCoco: Ka…GACK!!!! Me: Who’s KaDumb now?!?!?!?! Choke you! Choke you good! Next match!

Match #5: Rhea Ripley def. Natalya

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The Nightmare was fired up heading into this one-on-one showdown with the other half of the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions. After a highly competitive matchup, Nikki A.S.H. returned to the scene with an assist, resulting in a submission victory for Rhea Ripley over Natalya.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – This was going really well, until it ended a bit early. That being said, these two were able to state their case for why this match worked going short better than often on WWE TV. These guys kept on each other the whole time and didn’t make much room for error. Natalya worked well as the heel here to Rhea’s bad mother-f–ker. It was like baking a batch of peanut butter hooker cookies. Rhea needed to win and did, which makes me happy. F–kin’ BAGAH!

Match #6: AJ Styles, Omos, MACE & T-BAR def. The New Day, Mansoor & Mustafa Ali

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

A massive Eight-Man Tag Team confrontation saw Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods join forces with Mansoor & Mustafa Ali to take on the squad of AJ Styles, Omos, MACE & T-BAR. The action was high-octane and culminated when the colossal Omos decided to take matters into his own hands, dropping Mustafa Ali with a vicious two-handed Chokeslam to get the win for his team.

The Verdict: 5 out of 10 – It had moves! It had people! It had…a wrestling ring! That’s all I got. Actually, Omos did well here reacting to the more capable wrestlers on the roster. It was a fast, sturdy match that was never quite as exciting as it could have been, but there were flashes of brilliance here and there and that means more than just a whole lotta decent.

Match #7: Doudrop def. Eva Marie

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Doudrop finally got her one-on-one match against Eva Marie, and her night almost took a turn for the worse when she was poked in the eye by her opponent. The miscue by Eva, however, led to Doudrop absolutely demolishing the Eva-Lution leader, defeating her former mentor after hitting a devastating crossbody.

The Verdict: 1 out of 10 – It was a squash. The right person won. There you go.

Match #8: (Main Event) Bobby Lashley def. Randy Orton – WWE World Championship Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Going one-on-one for the first time since 2007, Bobby Lashley and Randy Orton finally squared off with the WWE Championship on the line. This huge main event delivered, and the back-and-forth clash of titans came to its end when The All Mighty hit a Spear on The Viper to retain his championship.

The Verdict: 8 out of 10 – These guys went for a bruised-forearm match and it didn’t forget to pack a punch. Bobby was the blind-rage wrecking-machine that Orton spent much of the match playing like a fiddle. Orton wrestled like he was a mastermind that could, but did not, out-think the champion. Lashley just smashed his way to victory in what may be the most convincing match of his run as champion. It was thrilling, because Orton was booked to have the ability to actually block and counter Lashley’s moves, which made Lashley’s dominant victory that much more satisfying. Lashley has gotten a lot of flak for being boring, but I’d argue that Lashley is simply a champion wrestling for the wrong league in the wrong era. In the golden era of the NWA, I bet Lashley would have been a massive draw and a massive success as World Champion. I’m just thrilled he hasn’t been booked to do a lot of dumb comedy. MVP: Man, shut yo dumbass up! Me: A bird once said that to me…and I choked it…choked it good! MVP: GACK!!!!! Me: Who’s KaDumb now?!?!?!?!?! Anyway, this match was great.

Match #9: (Main Event) Big E def. Bobby Lashley – WWE World Championship Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Bobby Lashley’s night was not over after defeating Randy Orton, because as promised, Mr. Money in the Bank Big E swiftly made his presence felt after the match and completed his goal by cashing in his contract. After narrowly kicking out of a Spear, Big E dropped Lashley with the Big Ending to cap off the night with an emotional victory as he took his place as the new WWE Champion and celebrated with Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods.

The Verdict: 5 out of 10 – Holy s–t! He won! Big E won the f–kin’ belt! They teased it all night with the vignettes, but Vince actually went through with it! F–kin’ A! It’s about f–kin’ time! The crowd went nuts for him winning. Why wouldn’t they? One of the nicest people in wrestling just got the biggest strap in the most famous wrestling league in the world today and in a company that’s run by a man who has been accused of being a racist. Hell, Vince may be a racist, but at least he’s a racist that will let the color green coax him into not slighting the color brown sometimes. This is historic in that Big E is only the forth may of African-American to be the WWE World Champion and that this is also the first time one African-American WWE World Champion has passed the strap off to another African-American WWE World Champion. The match itself was just under two minutes, but the action was very exciting in that brief slot of time and that’s just great. Big E won! F——————k yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Final Verdict: 7/10

The wrestling here was strong, by and large, with a double-dose of main event to make your heart go Drew Barrymore. Drew Barrymore: I’m a bad mother-f–ker! Me: Big E won and that’s all that matters. What the…a Delorean? Little Richard: Get in the car! AWOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! The Noid: GHAJJSLJDKJ!!!!! LR: Shut up! Me: Okay. Where are we going? LR: The future! It’s your kids Nathan! Something’s gotta be done about your kids! Me: What?! Noid: HIHIOJHJO!!!!! LR: I tell him you plump-butt sumnab–ch! Noid: OJOKKJKJOKJJKOJ!!!!!!! Me: What’s he saying? LR: He wants a pizza…a pizza this ass!!!!!! AWOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Me: Oh…you’re having sex. Oh, who gives a s–t?! Big E won the WWE World Title! See you next time! LR: AWOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

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