16th Aug2021

‘AEW: Rampage’ Review #2 (Aug 13th 2021)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s debut of All Elite Wrestling: Rampage, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and on this special debut Rampage, which sees Christian Cage challenge Kenny Omega for the IMPACT World Title, we have a sponsor: Narrator: From Moorvel Studios and Walnit Dizknee Pictures comes the hit of the summer…Spider-Jew! When young Petah Pecker gets bitten by a radioactive Jerry Lewis, he becomes endowed with the power of old Jewish comedy. Petah: Meshuggana! I have super-powers! Aunt Vay: Oy! I’ll make potato pancakes! Narrator: When Doctor Herman Oswald is bitten by a radioactive Don Rickles, he becomes the diabolical super-villain, The Green Hebrew. The Green Hebrew: Yuck! I look sick! I must be a criminal now! Narrator: Now…one man must save the city from evil…Spider-Jew! Murray John: Oh Spider-Jew! Won’t you kiss me? Spider-Jew: No. I only f–k men…Spider-Jew-Men! Murray John: Oy! Narrator: Get ready for the ride of your life! Spider-Jew: I’m so excited I’m kibitizing! Narrator: Spider-Jew! Coming to theaters near you! Me: Okay. That sounds awful. You know what doesn’t sound awful? This debut episode of Rampage! Let’s get to it!

Match #1: Christian Cage def. Kenny Omega (Impact World Championship Match)

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Brian Hebner was the referee for this contest. Christian Cage applied a headlock to Kenny Omega. He followed up with a massive shoulder tackle to Omega and then gave him the middle finger. Omega kicked Christian Cage in the midsection and then chopped away at him. Omega was looking for One-Winged Angel early, and then Christian tried to counter with the Kill Switch, but Omega rolled out of the ring to collect himself. Kenny took the driver’s seat and tried for a sliding baseball dropkick, but Christian Cage moved out of the way. Christian jumped back into the ring and used a sliding dropkick of his own on Omega. Christian Cage climbed to the top turnbuckle, but Don Callis distracted him—giving Kenny Omega enough time to shove him from his perched position down to the arena floor! Christian Cage was fight up off the mat against Kenny Omega. Cage connected with a snap suplex on Omega. The champ answered by gouging Christian Cage’s eyes. He propped Christian Cage on the top turnbuckle and clubbed him with rights and lefts. Omega tried for a superplex, but Christian Cage dumped Kenny Omega with a sunset flip powerbomb! Christian Cage called for the Kill Switch, but Omega hit him with a back elbow. Omega followed up with a moonsault for a near fall! Omega attempted a One-Winged Angel, but Christian countered with a reverse DDT! Christian ran in for a spear, but Kenny Omega popped up his knee! He powerbombed Christian Cage and then crushed him with the V-Trigger knee, and somehow Christian Cage kicked out! Omega ran in for the V-Trigger but Christian ducked! Omega collided with the turnbuckles! Omega was fired up, though, and used two snap dragon suplexes on Christian Cage! Christian Cage retaliated with a frog splash for a near fall on Omega. Don Callis distracted the ref while Kenny Omega hit a low blow on Christian Cage. Omega signaled for The Young Bucks. The Bucks slid a chair into the ring. Omega was going to hit the One-Winged Angel on the chair, but Christian Cage reversed it with the Kill Switch on the chair. Christian Cage pinned Kenny Omega!

The Verdict: 8 out of 10

Match #2: TNT Champion Miro def. Fuego Del Sol (TNT Championship/AEW Contract Match)

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Fuego Del Sol surprised Miro with a tornado DDT at the start of the match. He followed up with a second tornado DDT! Miro was rocked, seeing stars on the arena floor! Miro was almost counted out but slid back into the ring before the ref got to the 10-count. And Fuego Del Sol greeted Miro with a third tornado DDT! Fuego attempted a fourth tornado DDT, but Miro plucked him out of the air and smashed him with a Samoan drop! Miro knocked off Fuego’s head with a big kick and then he applied the Game Over submission! Fuego Del Sol quickly tapped out! After the match, Miro tore up Fuego Del Sol’s contract, adding insult to injury. Sammy Guevara’s music hit. Tony Khan handed a clipboard to “The Spanish God” as he was walking down the ramp. Sammy Guevara handed Fuego Del Sol the clipboard with the AEW contract and hugged him! The arena erupted in cheers!

The Verdict: 6 out of 10

Match #3: Britt Baker def. Red Velvet (AEW Women’s World Championship Match)

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Britt Baker looked for the Lock Jaw right away, but Red Velvet escaped. She countered with a wristlock. They got to their feet and shoved at one another. Red Velvet got another wristlock. She was going to stomp on Baker’s injured arm, but she hesitated. Baker charged the corner, but Red Velvet dodged it. Baker’s injured arm smacked the turnbuckle. Red Velvet dropped the champion with a leg lariat and followed up with a moonsault press for a near fall. Baker went for a clothesline, but Red Velvet blocked it, forcing more pressure on Baker’s injured arm. Kris Statlander was shown scouting the match from the front row. Baker was reaching for the Lock Jaw, but Red Velvet rolled her back for a two-count. Red Velvet ripped off Baker’s glove and cranked back on her hand. Rebel jumped on the apron and distracted Red Velvet. Ref Paul Turner ejected Rebel! Red Velvet nailed Britt Baker with a beautiful moonsault! Britt Baker rallied back with a curb stomp on Red Velvet for a two-count. Red Velvet tried to put the Lock Jaw on Britt Baker, but Baker countered! Britt Baker switched it up and trapped Red Velvet with the Lock Jaw, forcing Red Velvet to tap out! After the match, Britt Baker continued her assault on Red Velvet. Kris Statlander jumped the guardrail and came to Red Velvet’s aid. Out of nowhere, a woman dressed in black attire began to hit Statlander, and then stomp on her! It was Jamie Hayter coming to the aid of Britt Baker!

The Verdict: 6 out of 10

Final Verdict: 7/10

This was a simple show that flew right by. Jamie Hayter returned to help Britt Baker fend off Kris Statlander and Red Velvet. Fuego Del Sol got a contract on the air (presented to him by Sammy Guevara). However, what this will be most remembered for is Christian Cage finally winning the IMPACT World Title…in AEW. Go figure. I think this is pretty cool. Christian is now a 7-time champion and he will be on IMPACT’s broadcasts going forward. AEW may have a lot of problems, but it does a nice job of delivering big moments that might not normally happen. The World Title match itself was excellent. It was fast and snappy, with no lulls in the action. This match got a lot of time and not a second was wasted. The quality of this bout bodes well for the scheduled AEW World Title match between these two at All Out. There’s something to be said for a one hour show that comes and goes without incident. I had fun with this show. If this is what Rampage will be like every week, then maybe this will work out well. I’ll see you next time.


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