12th Jul2021

Friday Night Smackdown – July 9th 2021: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s WWE Friday Night SmackDown review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and Mr. Tanaka has hired my team to raid his casino vault in Las Vegas during the zombie invasion. [Mr. Tanaka] – We will take the vault in broad daylight. 0900 hour’s time, we send in the ‘copter and make the drop. Your team will secure the perimeter around the generator so you can activate the fail-safe. With the power turned on, you’ll go to the vault at the top of the casino and shut down the security system, open the vault and take the money. The helicopter will pick you up at the top of the casino and make our escape. [The Crew] – Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!! Zombies! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! [Me] – So much for that. They’re running away. [Mr. Tanaka] – Oh s—t! [Me] – Oh well. I’ll just stay here and review SmackDown. Speaking of which, let’s get to the fun. SmackDown begins… [The Crew] – Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Purple drapes! All we’ve ever wanted is purple drapes! Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!! [Me] – Why did they all say that at the same time?

Match #1: Shinsuke Nakamura b. Baron Corbin – MITB Qualifier

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Despite Baron Corbin’s outrage over King Nakamura and Rick Boogs arriving to the WWE ThunderDome in his repossessed Mercedes SUV that they bought cheap at an auction, the despondent former monarch fell short against The King of Strong Style when Nakamura hit the Kinshasa for the win to earn his place in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match.

The Verdict: 6 out of 10 – Shinsuke carried Baron again and won again. This got fairly intense down the line and I liked it. Baron still wrestles like me with my sexuality, but at least Shinsuke didn’t have to wrestle…well he did. I mean, it’s his job to wrestle. Baron sounds like soup for a fruit-cake. There’s only one Corbin I care about and that’s Corbin Bernsen. Okay. This was match one million two hundred and seventy two and it was about the same as the rest. Shinsuke goes to MITB and that’s all right with me.

Match #2: Shotzi Blackheart/Tegan Nox b. Natalya/Tamina

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

SmackDown’s exciting new tag team Shotzi & Nox make their SmackDown debut by scoring a huge victory over WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions Natalya & Tamina after Shotzi went airborne to level Natalya with the Ball Pit.

The Verdict: 5 out of 10 – While the match didn’t quite turn out to be much, Shotzi and Tegan gave a great performance. They were a breath of fresh air on a show that really needed some fresh faces. As far as the action goes, Tegan brought the wrestling and Shotzi brought the mayhem. Not a bad combo in my opinion. The new team winning was the right call.

Match #3: (Main Event) Seth Rollins b. Cesaro – MITB Qualifier

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

In an extremely brutal showdown between longstanding adversaries, Seth Rollins bested The Swiss Superman with an earth-shattering stomp to qualify to become the final combatant in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match.

The Verdict: 8 out of 10 – Yahoo mamajama! Seth and Cessy got down to whoopin’ that ass! From bell to bell these guys got right to the point. The grudge match that this needed to be it was and then some. Cesaro was on fire here. As much as Seth was kicking ass, Cesaro was that much more so. This last third of the match was as immediate and brutal as you can get away with on the WWE main roster. Cesaro bled and bumped and flew across that ring in the name of victory. Boy did I like this. I bet you will get a kick out of it as much as I did.

Major News:

  1. Shotzi Blackheart and Tegan Nox debuted as a tag team.
  2. Toni Storm is coming to SmackDown.
  3. Rey Mysterio and Dominik returned to help Edge fight Roman Reigns and The Usos.
  4. Bayley is injured and won’t return for nearly a year.
  5. Bianca Belair’s title defense for Money In The Bank is off and will happen next week against Carmella.
  6. Liv Morgan will take Carmella’s place in Money In The Bank.
  7. Edge and Seth Rollins feuding was teased.

Final Verdict: 4/10

A two hour wrestling show that had about a half hour of wrestling is bad. That being said, the main event was great, so you get some cool points for that. There was way too much talking here. It was nice to have Edge and Roman brawl, but spending nearly an hour teasing whether they would brawl or not was just a pain in the ass. I’ll see you next time.

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