23rd Jun2021

WWE Raw – Jun 21st 2021: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s WWE Monday Night Raw review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we’ve got the fallout from Hell In A Cell and the build for Money In The Bank. I’ve got a secret. I’m stupid. BADABADAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! I had your ass fooled so good! You never knew I was a dumb-ass the whole time! You idiot! I’m a dip-s–t!!!!!! I tried to sweep a desert clean! Every moment is a blonde moment for me! Donald Trump! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! Let’s start the review, ‘cuz I’m a dumb mother-f–ker!

[Author’s Note: Riddle, a man accused of rape and not yet found guilty or innocent in a court of law, is in this show and if that alarms or offends you, then viewer discretion is advised].

Match #1: Ricochet b. AJ Styles – MITB Qualifier

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

A high-flying showdown between AJ Styles and Ricochet determined the first entrant into the Money in the Bank Ladder Match. With Ricochet down on the mat, The Viking Raiders came storming in to bring chaos to the proceedings. After Erik & Ivar sent Omos flying through the barricades, Ricochet regrouped and countered a Phenomenal Forearm to grab the shocking win.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – Hey! This was really good! Ricochet won! Who blew Vince to make that happen? Well, whoever you are, I hope you spit. Don’t swallow that s–t. You’ll gag on cockage cheese if you swallow. When this ovation has died down…in my mind…I can express how great it was to see these two together again. It’s still going. Thank you! I did make an excellent Eliza! No! You bow to me! I’m an actor! I’m important! Screw the people with actual jobs! What did their numerous contributions ever give me when I’m busy pretending to bang Jessica Biel? Ah! A gun! I gotta get the f–k out of here! Anyway, AJ made Ricochet look like a million bucks, even though Ricochet already does on normal occasions and beyond. I also heard that Ricochet put his finger in his butt. The man is his own proctologist. That’s talent! That’s skill! That’s a man…with his finger up his butt! Respect! This was very athletic and tightly worked. There was a consistent use of grappling to ground the bout, but an occasional dive did break through the blockade so to speak. Oh s–t! Mongolian! Mongolians: HULHULHULHULHULHULHUL!!!!!!! Me: You God damn Mongolians won’t tear down my City Wall, ‘cuz I pour sweet and sour pork on yo head! Wait…s–t! Noooooo!!!!! I accidentally pour it on me! Godammaaaaa!!!! Mongolians: HULHULHULGULGUL!!!!!!! Me: God damn f–kin’ Mongolians! Don’t you tear down my City Wall! Well, AJ and Ricochet didn’t stop at just working some spots into a normal match. They made a repeat of a previous Raw match feel like it was happening for the first time and that is a hallmark of a true professional. All in all, this was an excellent opener.

Match #2: Naomi/Asuka b. Eva Marie/Doudrop

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Eva Marie’s dominant cohort was unveiled as Doudrop ahead of the match, but Asuka & Naomi were set on spoiling her big reveal. Doudrop was forced to do most of the heavy lifting early, but Eva Marie attempted to tag her way in to steal the glory with Naomi down in the squared circle. After The Glow kicked out, Marie looked for a panicked tag, but Doudrop backed away from her partner, which allowed Naomi to grab the roll-up victory.

The Verdict: 2 out of 10 – This was s–t. It went two minutes and nothing happened. This was s–t. I feel bad for the wrestlers for being stuck working this match. This was s–t. This is what happens when you over-book a match: the wrestlers don’t get to do anything. This was… Asuka: Excusa may! You kiss a mie Asuka! Me: Ow! Not the vagina!

Match #3: John Morrison b. Randy Orton – MITB Qualifier

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

With an injured Miz “bravely” accompanying him at ringside, John Morrison looked to earn his way back into the spotlight of the WWE Title picture. Things looked bleak for Johnny Drip Drip after Orton smashed him through the announce table. As The Viper stalked his prey, chaos erupted from The A-Lister’s Drip Stick attack, and Riddle’s ride into ringside allowed Morrison to hit a Starship Pain for another stunning upset.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – Orton may not be a great wrestler, but he can take a beating with the best of them. That’s the big news outta this match. Morrison was more like himself here, doing his greatest hits while going from hold to hold as smoothly as ever. I really liked how Morrison was the star here. That’s the way it should be. Orton can lose. Morrison needed a win. I’d say that this turned out really well.

Match #4: Nikki Cross/Alexa Bliss b. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax – MITB Qualifier

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Nikki Cross embodied an entirely new spirit on the red brand and walked back into the twisted world of her old friend Alexa Bliss in hopes of defeating Shayna Baszler & Nia Jax for Money in the Bank opportunities. The gaze of Bliss set Reginald into a trance during the match, and a near slap of The Irresistible Force caused the pair to leave The Queen of Spades behind. Left to fend for herself, Cross sprang into action and rolled up Baszler for the win.

The Verdict: 4 out of 10 – Nikki is a super hero now. Yeah. At least she seems to be enjoying herself. Alexa did her crack-head schtik again…and she’s an X-Men now! Alexa made Reginald’s arm move with her mind. Shayna pummeled everybody and Nia farted. I don’t know. Bumps were taken and the tags were good. There you go.

Match #5: Riddle b. Drew McIntyre – MITB Qualifier

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The battle scars from his trip to Hell were still evident on Drew McIntyre, but The Scottish Warrior still attempted to persevere past Riddle to earn a spot in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match. McIntyre valiantly powered through the pain, but the emergence of The Viper on the ramp seemed to reinvigorate The Original Bro, who continued to kick out from an all-out assault. After a seemingly endless series of crushing blows, Riddle rolled up McIntyre and held on for the upset.

The Verdict: 8 out of 10 – Best match of the show. Riddle and Drew clobbered each other like Drew Barrymore when she went out with that ferris wheel. Both fighters kept the pace steady and strong, like R. Kelly when he pees on women. R. Kelly: Hey! I don’t do that! Me: Aren’t you in jail? R. Kelly: Don’t make me piss on you! Dave Chappelle: Haters wanna hate! Lovers wanna love! I don’t even want none of the above! I wanna piss on you! Me: You get brutal strikes and ruthless slams that make you feel like Madonna tied up in a chair by Sean Penn. Sean Penn: Shut up! Me: You shut up actor! Your brother died of fatassitus! SP: AHHHHHHHH!!!!! I’m sad! Me: I’m sorry. SP: I ate a baby! Me: Run ET! Run! ET: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Me: Boy was this a great match. It got nearly a half hour and not a second of that was wasted. What a great surprise this was.

Match #6: (Main Event) Bobby Lashley b. Xavier Woods – Hell In A Cell Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Bobby Lashley entered Hell in a Cell for the second time in 24 hours in an attempt to silence Xavier Woods and send a message to his WWE Money in the Bank opponent. The All Mighty Champion flexed his muscles with displays of brute strength, but Woods battled back by bludgeoning his opponent with a steel chair, Kendo stick and an elbow drop through a table. When it appeared the WWE Champion may have run out of steam, Lashley hit one crushing Spear on Woods and held onto the Hurt Lock long after MVP had chained closed the doors of the steel structure.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – This was very much a Hardcore Match in a cage. As a brawl of plunder, this was a lot of fun. Woods got a lot in and Lashley sold for Woods all the way through. Lashley’s previous Cell bout was sold as well, so the whole thing felt like a breathless scrap. It was suspenseful from bell to bell and a spectacle like this was a welcome change of pace from what we normally get on Raw.

Major News:

  1. Charlotte Flair gets a title shot against Rhea Ripley at Money In The Bank.
  2. Kofi Kingston gets the WWE World Title Match against Bobby Lashley at Money In The Bank.
  3. Nikki Cross is a super hero now.
  4. Piper Niven was re-named Doudrop by Eva Marie and Niven made Eva Marie lose.
  5. Elias and Jaxson Ryker have a strap match next week…and I’m glad Elias isn’t black or this would be really offensive.
  6. Mustafa Ali is still trying to corrupt Mansoor.
  7. Jeff Hardy, Sheamus, Jinder Mahal and Cedric Alexander all want to be in MITB.

Final Verdict: 7/10

This show turned out very well. Four of the six matches were excellent and there was some ambition with the booking in a couple parts as well. I had a lot of fun here. I wish was more like this every week.

Off

Comments are closed.