17th Jun2021

‘WWE NXT’ Review (Jun 15th 2021)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s NXT review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and the fallout from In Your House is due to the dog running around with its tail up its ass. Maybe the dog is a dip-s–t? I know I am. We’ve got a couple of matches guaranteed here, along with big news from William Regal. Shall we get started?

Match #1: Breezango def. Imperium

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

WALTER likely won’t be happy with Imperium’s performance, as Breeznago scored a victory out of nowhere thanks to an inside cradle by Tyler Breeze on Fabian Aichner. Aichner & Marcel Barthel had the last laugh though, draping the Imperium flag over their foes following a post-match assault.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – This was pretty good for an opener. A lot of this was stuck in picture-in-picture, but that doesn’t affect the quality of the match of course. Brad Britch: Wrestling! Me: Yes Brad. BB: Wrestling! Me: Yes. The damn match is wrestling. BB: Headlock! Armdrag! Me: Yeah? BB: WRESTLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!! In the ass! Me: Brad…I should have left you in AEW Dark. BB: Phil said I couldn’t stay. Upset I kidnapped people! They didn’t watch wrestling. Now they sleep with fishes! Me: What?! BB: Pervs! I f–k sheep! Me: Okay! That’s it! I’m giving you the Phil treatment! BB: No! No! I don’t wanna go in the box! Me: Too bad! BB: No! It smells like me in there! Me: Okay. Where were we? Breezango did well here as the lovable victims to Imperium, who have a fetish for nipple-pinching if my imagination has conjured correctly. Imperium: It’s not true! Me: Why’d you talk at the same time? Imperium: …F–k off! Me: Not if I have to look at you. Anyway, the action was brutal in many cases, with Imperium using Breezango as a tribal drum like it was mating season in the Wannahaulkaloogie Tribe. I had a good time with this. It’s a shame that I didn’t actually watch this…because wrestling is stupid. Okay! Next match!

Match #2: KUSHIDA def. Trey Baxter – NXT Cruiserweight Title Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Trey Baxter made an impressive accounting for himself in his NXT debut, but he could not overcome Kushida’s technical prowess. NXT’s resident Time Splitter locked on the Hoverboard Lock for the submission victory, securing another successful title defense.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – Hey! Blake Christian! He did well as this Trey Baxter fellow. Danhausen: Blake Christianhausen is Trey Baxterhausen nowsenhausen? Where will the other letters go? Shall he sell these for money precious money? He should donate these earnings to Danhausen’s charity “Danhausen’s Money Bag”, which helps your local Danhausen become very rich! Me: I don’t think he’s doing that. Danhausen: Th…T…then that f–k will rue the day he slighted Danhausen! Danhausen will gear-up and shove his foot right in his rear up into the f–king moonhausen! Me: I thought you don’t swear? Danhausen: I…AHHHHHH!!!!!! My money! They’ll take Danhausen off of T.V.! Damn you Blake Christianhausen! Me: Trey Baxter. Danhausen: Shut the f–k uphausen! Me: KUSHIDA was excellent taking the lead here. He acted like a proper champion and gave Trey enough to work with, but without getting in the way of Trey making decisions for himself. There was a lot of good grappling and reversals early on, but the shift to numerous kicks and strikes felt less like a wrestling match and more like kickboxing for my taste. Still, this was very entertaining overall.

Match #3: Dakota Kai/Raquel Gonzalez def. Kacy Catanzaro/Kayden Carter

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Kayden Carter & Kacy Catanzaro nearly scored the massive upset at several junctures, coming particularly close following a spectacular 450 splash by Catanzaro. Dakota Kai hit the Go-To Kick on Catanzaro to put her away and earn the victory for the powerful duo.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – Nick Gage: Did these bitches wrestle? Me: Nick, women don’t like being called bitches. NG: Bitches don’t like being called bitches? Me: Yeah. NG: Sorry bitches. My f–kin’ mistake. Me: Wanna help me review the match? NG: F–k yeah. These mother-f–kers kicked ass. All four of these chicks are bad mother-f–kers. They did all these cools push-kicks that made you feel like you got f–ked up the ass. This one part had the chick with the freaky f–kin’ eyes goin’ after the door-hinge broad and try to knock her on her ass. This is what women should be doing in wrestling. They shouldn’t be shakin’ their asses like two-dollar sluts on the f–kin’ pole. Women didn’t work their asses off to be wrestlers just so they can whore their way through their careers. You gotta have matches where the women get to show their s–t, like they did here. Me: Nice job. NG: F–k yeah.

Match #4: (Main Event) Tommaso Ciampa/Timothy Thatcher def. Grizzled Young Veterans

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

These four Superstars treated the NXT Universe to one of the most chaotic showdowns in recent memory. GYV appeared to be on the fast track to victory after dropping Tommaso Ciampa with a devastating Doomsday Device on the outside of the ring. They followed by hitting Timothy Thatcher with the Ticket to Mayhem, but Ciampa dove back into the ring to make the save with no time to spare. The Blackheart rallied with an Air Raid Crash to Gibson on the announce table, then joined Thatcher to blast James Drake with open-hand slaps in stereo before earning the victory with a combination ankle lock and Fujiwara armbar applied simultaneously.

The Verdict: 8 out of 10 – These guys knocked the s–t out of each other. Elmo: Elmo doesn’t like swearing! Don’t swear! Me: I’m f–kin’ sorry. Elmo: Don’t swear! Danhausen: Yes! Don’t swear! NG: F–k off asshole! BB: Yeah! F–k off! NG: Who’s the pussy? BB: Brad Britch! NG: Brad Bitch? BB: No! Britch! Britch! NG: What the f–k did you call me asshole?! Elmo: Elmo says no swearing! NG: Shut the f–k up you furry red asshole! Elmo: Elmo’s gonna f–k you up! Me: Ummmm…Ciampa and Thatcher ate the GYV alive. It was a mauling on the canvas. These guys tried to rip each other to pieces to sell the match as a fight to the finish. I loved how there was always something new happening in this fight. This was a hell of a main event. Danhausen: F–k yeahhausen! Elmo: Elmo f–king told you! NG: I’m gonna punt you, you little red bitch. BB: Wrestle! Wrestle! NG: Jesus skank! Calm your ass down. Me: This was a fabulous main event.

Major News:

  1. Samoa Joe has returned to NXT and the WWE as William Regal’s enforcer, one that can’t touch others unless touched first and one who cannot wrestle.
  2. Samoa Joe and Pete Dunne was teased as a match through a staredown.
  3. Adam Cole will fight Kyle O’Reilly at The Great American Bash.
  4. Kyle O’Reilly will fight KUSHIDA, next week.
  5. Frankie Monet is possibly trying to steal Robert Stone’s clients away from him.
  6. Io Shirai and Zoey Stark brawled with Candice LeRae and Indi Hartwell after the latter didn’t sell a 619! That son of a bitch!
  7. A battery charging symbol was shown as a vignette throughout the show and it is charging.
  8. Thatcher/Ciampa and MSK is being teased as a match in more than just the professional respect.
  9. Blake Christian debuted as Trey Baxter.
  10. Ted Dibiase and Cameron Grimes were turned face by LA Knight attacking Ted Dibiase after being crowned Million Dollar Champion and Grimes saving Ted from more damage.

Final Verdict: 7/10

Well, this is easy to rate. Four matches rated at 7 on a show with a lot of promos gets a 7 overall. Samoa Joe is back and it sounds like a good fit for him. I had fun here. Okay. I’ll see you later.

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