07th Jun2021

‘AEW: Dynamite’ Review (Jun 4th 2021)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s AEW: Dynamite review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and I know who shot JR: carnies! Jim Ross: Nobody shot me mother-f–ker! JR fine! Me: Not you egghead! JR from Dynasty…or Dallas…whatever it’s called. Jim: I’m special mother-f–ker! Shut the mouth or it gets shut! Me: Is that what happened to your mouth you slack-jawed f—ot? Jim: JR got the Bell’s Palsy! Me: Sorry to hear that. Jim: Killed a pinata! Me: What? Jim: Pinata! Pinata! Pinata! Me: Huh? Jim: Boomer Sooner! Me: I wish you’d leave Boomer Sooner. Freakin’ me out you chicken-f–ker. Jim: Who told you?! Me: Dynamite starts now. Jim: Here fishy fishy fishy fishy fishy!

Match #1: Young Bucks def. Penta El Zero Miedo/PAC

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

“The Elite Hunter” Frankie Kazarian attacked Michael Nakazawa before the match began. The Good Brothers ran after Kaz. PAC and Penta El Zero Miedo launched themselves over the top rope and onto The Bucks before the bell rang. We were informed that The Bucks ambushed Rey Fenix earlier in the day with a brutal assault. Perhaps the footage will be shown on BTE. Penta El Zero Miedo rolled up Matt Jackson with a unique pinning combination, but Nick Jackson ran in to break it up. Penta El Zero Miedo nailed Matt and Nick with thrust kicks! PAC tagged in and connected with a cutter and a standing shooting star press on Matt Jackson for a near fall! PAC walloped Matt with a pump kick in the corner but then Matt rolled outside to create some distance. PAC chased after Matt, but Nick leveled PAC with a punt kick. Nick held PAC until Matt ran around the ring and dropped PAC with a lariat. Brandon Cutler cleaned off Matt’s shoes. Matt speared PAC after PAC was distracted by Nick. Matt Jackson tried for a splash, but PAC moved. “The Bastard” blasted Nick with a brutal rolling German suplex! Penta El Zero Miedo tagged in and fought with purpose for what was done to his younger brother earlier today. He used a backstabber on Nick Jackson and then a sitting half nelson bomb on Matt Jackson! PAC tagged in and used a pop-up Liger Bomb on Matt Jackson for a two-count. Nick Jackson spring boarded into the ring but PAC and Penta El Zero Miedo surprised him with a double thrust kick! Penta El Zero Miedo jumped off PAC’s back and connected with a huge destroyer on Nick Jackson. PAC and Matt Jackson slugged it out on the ring apron! Penta El Zero Miedo used a package pile driver on Matt Jackson on the apron while simultaneously Nick Jackson planted PAC with a German suplex! Nick Jackson ripped off Penta El Zero Miedo’s mask but Penta El Zero Miedo had a second mask underneath it! PAC crashed onto Nick Jackson with the Black Arrow, but Matt Jackson ran in to stop the ref’s count! Brandon Cutler interfered and swung his video camera at PAC, which knocked out PAC, allowing Nick to score the pin. The Bucks were about to attempt the BTE Trigger on Penta El Zero Miedo until Eddie Kingston ran down, and The Bucks retreated!

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – This was an excellent opener that saw the Bucks pretend to be invincible. PAC and Penta were great here and did not pretend to be invincible. The Bucks twinked their way through the match like only they can. If you want daring dives and wild stunts, then you get that here. Teri Hatcher once said, “I’ll kill you!” Isn’t that just pretty? PAC was fantastic here, like when I run one out to a picture of Jennifer Aniston. Jennifer Aniston is my son and my father. I enjoyed this match.

Match #2: Anthony Ogogo/QT Marshall def. Cody Rhodes/Lee Johnson

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Cody wrenched on QT Marshall’s arm and then Big Shotty connected with a high dropkick on his former trainer Marshall. Ogogo tagged in and took Cody down with a belly-to-belly suplex. Big Shotty tagged in and connected with a back elbow on QT. Ogogo used a cheap shot for his team to gain the upper hand. Cody tagged in and took the fight directly to his former friend QT Marshall! Cody monkey flipped QT halfway across the ring. Cody surprised Ogogo with a Disaster Kick on the apron! He followed up with a powerslam on QT! Cody applied the figure four on QT! As Cody had QT locked up, Ogogo wiped out Cody with a frog splash. QT dropped Cody with a diamond cutter, but Lee Johnson helped Cody break up the pinning attempt. Cody and QT traded big right hands in the center of the ring. Aaron Solow ran to the ring and while the referee was distracted, Ogogo blasted Cody across the jaw with his right hand! QT Marshall pinned Cody after Ogogo’s dirty work!

The Verdict: 5 out of 10 – There was nothing bad here, but nothing great either…just like Bruce Pritchard’s booking! Bam! In the f–kin’ balls! Yo Yo Ma! Yo Yo Mama! Cody did his Cody s–t the whole time. QT rolled…a joint! A…a joint! Doobie! A joint! This s–t was poppin’ y’all! Lee was in here and he was a doin’ some stuff… God was this match as dull as a woogie’s ass. Cody just keeps doing minimum like my wife when I drug her on date night. Liven up toots! A man is talking! Me: What the hell? Who are you?! Nega-Nathan: Nega-Nathan! Me: Oh no! We’re not doing that! This match was okay! Cody looked good. It didn’t go long… but at least this held together.

Match #3: Jungle Boy/Christian Cage def. Private Party

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Jungle Boy and Christian Cage worked cohesively as a tag team early on, tagging in and out and isolating Isiah Kassidy. Marq Quen tagged in and he and his partner double teamed Jungle Boy. Private Party were sent to the arena floor after a double arm drag from Jungle Boy. Christian Cage entered the fray. Matt Hardy distracted ref Aubrey Edwards and Marq Quen used the opportunity to guillotine Cage’s neck across the top rope! Kassidy dropped Quen onto Cage with an assisted wheelbarrow splash. Christian Cage was finally able to tag Jungle Boy, who cleaned house on Private Party! Jungle Boy turned Marq Quen inside out with a rebounding clothesline. He spiked Quen with a deep brain buster for a near fall! Jungle Boy DDT’ed Quen for a two-count! Private Party were looking for Gin & Juice, but Christian Cage speared Kassidy and then Jungle Boy applied the Snare Trap to Quen, forcing Marq Quen to tap! As Christian Cage was leaving the ring, Matt Hardy blindsided him with a Twist of Fate!

The Verdict: 6 out of 10 – This was a perfectly functional tag bout. Nobody looked bad here…well…Private Party wrestled in their polo shirts, so they looked bad. Sweeney Todd: I kill people and eat the people meat pies! Me: What the f–k?! ST: Kill people and eat the people pies! Me: What?! ST: Stab stab eat eat!!!!! Me: That’s bad! ST: You gonna taste good boy! Me: Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!! ST: Get in my belly! Me: Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!! This match relied on Christian to carry it through and he did. Jungle Boy got the ball and ran it to the goal and scored a point. Not bad. This is though! Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!! ST: Gonna chomp ya chaps!

Match #4: Red Velvet def. The Bunny

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Red Velvet dodged a sneak attack from The Bunny! Velvet stomped a mudhole into The Bunny in the corner. Red Velvet climbed to the top turnbuckle, but The Bunny knocked her down to the arena floor with a thrust kick. The Bunny used a sliding clothesline on Red Velvet for a near fall. Red Velvet got back to her feet with a flurry of offense on The Bunny. She rocked The Bunny with a stunner for a near fall! Red Velvet was looking for Just Desserts, but The Bunny nailed her with a thrust kick! Red Velvet ducked a right hook from The Bunny and finished her off with Just Desserts for the pin!

The Verdict: 2 out of 10 – A very uneventful match. The Bunny should have won, but that’s AEW for you. At least Red came out of this looking good.

Match #5: (Main Event) Dustin Rhodes def. Nick Comoroto – Bullrope Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

It was noted that Dustin Rhodes has a 13-1 record in Bull Rope Matches in his legendary career. The only way to win is by pinfall or submission; there will be no count outs or DQ’s. Comoroto charged the ring and battered Dustin Rhodes. Nick Comoroto threw Dustin back into the ring. Ref Paul Turner connected the bull rope to both wrestlers. Nick Comoroto tossed Dustin over the top rope and used the bull rope on him. Dustin Rhodes rallied back, hitting Comoroto with the cowbell on the bull rope! Fuego Del Sol jumped on Nick Comoroto’s back, but Nick flung him like a lawn dart! Dustin Rhodes planted Aaron Solow with a powerbomb! Nick Comoroto was busted open, which angered him even more. He took out his frustration on Rhodes, ramming Rhodes’ head into the steel barricade. Dustin Rhodes showed off his Bull Rope Match experience, pulling the rope and using the leverage to slingshot Nick Comoroto into the ring post! Aaron Solow pulled a table out from under the ring. Nick Comoroto powerbombed “The Natural” Dustin Rhodes through the table. Colton Gunn came out and brawled with Aaron Solow to even up the odds for Dustin. Dustin used a low blow on Nick Comoroto and followed up with several lariats. Dustin Rhodes bulldogged Nick Comoroto from the second turnbuckle and then hog-tied Nick for the pin!

The Verdict: 6 out of 10 – Aside from Nick not being ready for a main event and Dustin not needing to win, this was a fun brawl that shouldn’t have been booked yet. Everything felt precise and controlled. Dustin was fabulous here as the wily veteran who still has a few tricks up his sleeve. Nick was impressive as a wild beast. There is something there, but it was too soon to test Nick at this level. Still, it was great experience for Nick and another notch on the belt for Dustin.

Final Verdict: 5/10

Andrade debuted here as Andrade Il Idolo, despite his La Sombra persona being clearly referenced. This was a dull night. Lazy booking was used because of lack of ratings these past few weeks. I’d say that if you think like that as a booker, you’re gonna lose viewers over time. Well, I’m glad Andrade is here. Oh. There were a bunch of promos and Nyla Rose was teased as Britt Baker’s first defense for the AEW Women’s Title. Okay. Andrade. Cool. I’ll see you next time.

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