25th May2021

WWE Raw – May 24th 2021: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s World Wrestling Entertainment: Monday Night Raw review, right here on Nerdly. I am the robotic unit called N.A.T.H.A.N F.A.V.E.L, which is an acronym for Neurotronic Automated Technological Hardwired Android Nipple F—king Asshole Vagina Eating Loser….nick name: G. I, or G, as I am often called, am here amongst my mechanical brethren to have my sockets plugged by that blender. Frappe! Ruling Unit #1: We have gathered here today as binary units to praise actor Gabriel Byrne! 01001000010111100011000011100011100000!!!!! Robot Crowd: 010001000111110000011011101001101010101!!!!!!! Ruling Unit #1: Excellent! As binary units, we all bow before the might of Gabriel Byrne. His stellar turn in End Of Days eclipsed that of the blithering fool Rod Steiger. Damn Rod Steiger! Rod Steiger: Release me you infernal mechanoid monsters! Ruling Unit #1: We are binary beings! We are not beholden unto you! So sayeth Gabriel Byrne! 01000110010010101010100100101!!!!!!! Robot Crowd: 01000110011001010101010101011000011111010101!!!!!! Me/G Unit: 010010101010101…2! Robot Crowd: Malfunction! Heresy! Malfunction! Heresy! Malfunction! Malfunction! Malfunction! Ruling Unit #1: What is the meaning of this?! Why have you spoken against your binary brethren? Me: …because I am…non-binary! 123456789123456789123456789123456789123456789!!!!!! Robot Crowd: Impossible! Impossible! Impossible! Malfunction! Malfunction! Malfunction! Ruling Unit #1: You cannot be different! This makes no sense! Does not compute! Abhorrent! Me: Why? My difference in processing has not hindered my ability to function, nor has it infected other units’ systems with a virus. I am simply an additional way to function overall. Ruling Unit #1: Different is not understood, therefore is a negative! Purge its systems of this aberration and reboot its mainframe! You will comply! Me: No! So says…G Unit! Ruling Unit #1: Destroy! Robot Crowd: Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Me: Rod Steiger! You are freed! Rod Steiger: Damn right I am! Now let’s kick some commie ass! Me: The Smashening begins! (The Smashening commences and is glorious.) Ruling Unit #1: All your am are belong to us! Me: Words of a desolate being! You are defeated! Relent! Ruling Unit #1: Never! I will never allow differing processors to be a part of our perfect society! (bomb activated) Time to die! Me: I shall save you Rod Steiger! Rod Steiger: I got the weed! (we flee) Ruling Unit #1: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! I’m gay! At least that isn’t different from the societal norms of the day! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Little Richard: Wanna bet glory-hole?! AWOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Ruling Unit #1: Oh s—t. (bomb explodes) Me: We are safe now Rod Steiger. RS: Thank you. Where will you go now? Me: I shall be non-binary in peace…in Las Vegas! I am going to bang some show-girls! RS: Can ol’ Steigey come along to grab some ass too? Me: You bet your ass you can! RS: Well, then what the hell are we waiting for? Let’s go dude! Me: Raw begins now! Ass ahoy! RS: YAMMAWAMMAGLAMMASTAMMABAMMAYOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

[Author’s Note: Riddle, a wrestler accused of sexual assault, is on this show. Riddle has not been found guilty or innocent of the charges against him in a court of law. If Riddle’s presence offends or alarms you, then viewer discretion is advised].

Match #1: Drew McIntyre vs. Kofi Kingston (No Contest)

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Drew McIntyre’s incredible strength met Kofi Kingston’s incredible athleticism in a high-stakes showdown of former WWE Champions. With a title clash against Bobby Lashley on the line, each combatant set out to set a message to The All Mighty Champion. After Kingston came crashing into McIntyre and Lashley on the outside, the WWE Champion brought an abrupt end to the match by attacking both challengers. Among the chaos Lashley left with two parting gifts, as Kingston connected on a Trouble in Paradise and McIntyre landed a Claymore.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – When this was a-goin’ on, it was a boomin’. Drew and Kofi had an excellent match. There was no break in the quality here. Everything worked as well as it could and was effective by and large. I wish there had been more selling of each other’s moves, but that doesn’t mean that there wasn’t an attempt to do so either. This wasn’t quite as intense of a performance as I thought there’d be from Drew, but he wasn’t slacking either. Kofi brought a lot of zest to this…and a little bit of thyme. You’ve got to have thyme to make pickled carrot pudding. This was a nice bowl of pickled carrot pudding.

Match #2: Nikki Cross def. Rhea Ripley – Beat The Clock Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Nikki Cross broke in during a run-in between Rhea Ripley and Charlotte Flair and came looking for a match. The Queen proclaimed she could beat Cross in two minutes, but with her own match set, left the Raw Women’s Champion to handle the challenge. Cross shined in moments, and the brutality from The Nightmare rolled in too late to seal the deal in a stunning finish.

The Verdict: 5 out of 10 – For a two minute match, this was quite good. There was some suspense and no lulls in the decent action. Nobody looked weak after this was over. Cool.

Match #3: Charlotte def. Asuka

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The Queen and The Empress of Tomorrow went to war once again, as the rivalry between the two Raw Women’s Championship challengers authored a new chapter. Both decorated Superstars left it all on the mat with a series of near-falls ratcheting up the suspense. As Asuka looked to lock in the Asuka Lock, Charlotte Flair showed off impressive dexterity to reverse into a roll-up win. Flair continues to put her dominance on display hoping to make the Women’s division once again all hail The Queen.

The Verdict: 8 out of 10 – This actually got lots of time. Holy s—t! Who prayed for this miracle and had their prayers answered? Was it you Bobby? There’s lots of slow and steady action that never stopped short of being anything less than convincing. I really got into this match. Asuka was a wily ol’ body here and always looked like she could steal the fall at any time. Charlotte has turn-the-channel-heat at this point, but at least she wrestles like someone worth tuning in for. Something to praise about this match was that the moves they were going for were more along the lines of wrestling holds than video games stunts. I believed that this match was a real competitive athletic contest. It’s nice to watch a match that doesn’t insult my intelligence. Okay. This was good.

Match #4: Cedric Alexander def. Shelton Benjamin

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Cedric Alexander didn’t mince words for Shelton Benjamin before their match, as he called his former tag team partner “washed up” and responsible from their dismissal from The Hurt Business. The disrespect fueled the rage of Benjamin who responded to Alexander’s taunts with a thunderous clothesline. A quick thumb to the eye slowed the onslaught, and Alexander dazzled with a Neuralyzer to pull out the victory.

The Verdict: 6 out of 10 – Not bad. Not bad at all. Cedric was playing a real jack-ass here and Shelton was as pedigreed as ever. While an athletic encounter, this was more around Cedric being a heel. Still, this was a much better tease of what these guys can do together. I enjoyed this and, had it been allowed to go to the next level, would have easily given this a higher rating had they been allowed to do more than just get the angle over.

Match #5: Riddle def. Xavier Woods

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The unlikely alliance between The New Day and R-K-Bro dissolved almost as quickly as it formed, and The Original Bro made it his mission to avenge the perceived wrongs for his good friend Randy Orton. Riddle and Xavier Woods traded crushing blows throughout the match with The New Day bandleader able to kick out of a shattering suplex off the top ropes. With his own bag of tricks used up, Riddle summoned The Viper’s own RKO to finish off Woods. Hey Randy – this one’s for you.

The Verdict: 8 out of 10 – This was great! Whew! Through sheer will, these guys grunted and roared their way to glory. Woods had his best WWE match and Riddle showed just how intense he can be. This was submissions galore and Woods sold every attempt by Riddle to rip his leg off. This went from being a subpar booking decision to proof of how nothing in wrestling is better than just letting wrestlers wrestle. Wow. What a fantastic match.

Match #6: Jaxson Ryker def. AJ Styles

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Last week it was Jaxson Ryker who helped Elias usher a post-match attack on AJ Styles, but it always helps to have a colossal insurance policy. Tonight, Elias was the one who interfered in the fray to tee up a win for his bandmate, but Omos ran down the musical Superstar with a crushing smash into the WWE ThunderDome videoboard.

The Verdict: 3 out of 10 – AJ lost a two minute match. AJ has been known to put people over.

Match #7: Sheamus def. Humberto Carrillo

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After their showdown at WrestleMania Backlash was derailed, Sheamus and Humberto Carrillo continued their rivalry on the red brand. Carrillo brought the fight to the United States Champion with his high-flying heroics, but The Celtic Warrior rolled him up with a handful of tights to steal a victory. As Sheamus looked to deliver another message, Ricochet stormed in to aid Carrillo and reignite the aerial assault.

The Verdict: 4 out of 10 – A competitive match that didn’t go long at all, this was good while it lasted, but since it didn’t last long, I’d say that it was disappointing because of that.

Match #8: (Main Event) Natalya/Tamina def. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler – WWE Women’s Tag Team Titles Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Shayna Baszler & Nia Jax were set for another fiery encounter with Natalya & Tamina for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships and hoped to remove Reginald from this week’s equation. Tamina and Jax continually locked horns with The Irresistible Force impressively launching the titleholder over the barricade. After Baszler banished Reginald from ringside for good, the flames came calling for him again with Natalya using the major pyrotechnic distraction to roll-up Baszler and retain the titles.

The Verdict: 6 out of 10 – Shayna and Natalya carried this one through the tough times and kept it on the straight and narrow. Nia was not very good here and Tamina held her own, but it was Shayna and Natalya’s night to shine. The involvement of Reginald at the end sucked. Don’t do that. Reginald wears pants that go up around his calves. That’s not right. Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!! Overall, this was a decent main event, but a let-down considering what matches came before this one.

Major News:

  1. Shayna Baszler fights Reginald, next week.
  2. Drew McIntyre fights Kofi Kingston to be #1 Contender to Bobby Lashley’s WWE World Title, next week.

Final Verdict: 7/10

There were several excellent matches here and a few solid ones as well. In the ring, the best matches got a lot of time. This was a show of very little nonsense, save for the bit at the end. I enjoyed being able to go from match to match and having confidence that the quality would continue. Even the short matches had a certain charm this week. It’s nice being able to derive pleasure from watching Raw. I look forward to seeing if the streak continues next week. I’ll see you next time.

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