24th May2021

Friday Night Smackdown – May 21st 2021: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s World Wrestling Entertainment: Friday Night SmackDown review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have…what the… The Noid: HUNGAHHHHHH!!!!!! Me: Ah! The Noid! He’s here for the pizza! The Noid: WOGA! Me: Bastard! The Noid: TIGGULEBITTEES!!!!! Me: I’ll whoop that ass! Rob Van Dam: Hey dude! Being an independent contractor means that you work in one place and that you get to pay for everything yourself. Me: Tha…no it doesn’t. Who told you that? The Noid: NFUFHWHJHFWO?!?!?!?!?! RVD: Why would I want my employer to give me health insurance and spend my money when I can do that and save money and keep the rest? Me: Wha…huh? You’re gonna have to spend the same amount anyway. Also, shouldn’t you want to at least have the option for an employer to pay for an employee’s health insurance at least be one of the options made available regardless of pay-grade? The Noid: GIHGGSFGSJHGKJFSJDF? RVD: Why? You use your leverage as a star and have the balls to use that leverage to get a better deal. Me: What if you’re not a star? What if your employer doesn’t value your name status and will only ever give you a low deal? The Noid: EWHFIOWHDIFHSDHJ! RVD: Go someplace else! Me: What if no one else wants you? You’re right back where you started. The Noid: @$#! RVD: What would you know bro? You’ve never been offered a real contract. You’re a low level kinda guy, bro. Me: What the f—k does that have to do with anything? It doesn’t take years of extensive experience to figure out what getting a bum deal looks like and can do to you. You don’t need to be a genius to figure out that more options being available to you is typically and on most occasions much better than having fewer on the table. The Noid: Pizza! Me: In a minute. The Noid: KAZANGNAFNSDFNSDJS. RVD: You just don’t get it. You’re making me dumb. Me: I think you’re doing that to yourself. You’re letting a lot of money make you forget how hard it is for poor people to leverage a good deal for themselves in any job they take. It’s hard to be picky when you’re desperate. The Noid: HFJHDJHFKSJDJ!!!!!! Little Richard: Where’s the little asshole?! I wanna f—k! The Noid: Pizza!!!!! LR: I wanna pizza…a pizza that ass!!!!! The Noid: Ooooooh. LR: In that ass mama!!!! AWOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!! Me: Okay. I’m just gonna get this started before the splooshing begins. Rob Van Dam…get your head out of your ass. RVD: I’m a non-conformist! Me: If you have to say it, then it’s probably not true. RVD: Weed’s great! Me: Eh. Ain’t better than pizza. The Noid: Pizza! Little Richard: Pizza that ass! Me: Okay. SmackDown starts now. Little Richard: In that ass mama!!!! AWOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!

Match #1: Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler/Bayley def. Tamina/Natalya/Bianca Belair

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

In an impromptu Six-Woman Tag Team Match, Bayley grabbed Bianca Belair out of the ring and hit her with the Bayley-to-Belly onto the ringside floor. This distraction allowed Shayna Baszler to lock in the Kirifuda Clutch and make Natalya tap out.

The Verdict: 4 out of 10 – This was…lively. That’s about as far as I can go here with this match. Bayley worked hard and so did Shayna. Bianca held herself together, but I wouldn’t say she stood out here beyond selling a knee injury. Everyone else did their part to make the match get to the end of the track before falling to last place. I felt like more could have happened here, but the same could be said for most WWE matches. Well, at least this had some decent tag work every now and then. Okay. I’m done with this one. This was a simple opener with simple results.

Match #2: Shinsuke Nakamura def. King Corbin

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

As he prepared to dish out retribution on Shinsuke Nakamura in a one-on-on encounter for stealing his crown last week, King Corbin was suddenly interrupted by new Superstar Rick Boogs, who preceded to play the theme song for The King of Strong Style’s entrance. Just when it looked as if Corbin might emerge victorious over Nakamura, Boogs distracted the ruthless monarch by again playing The Artist’s theme on the announce table and paving the way for The King of Strong Style to pick up the win with the small package.

The Verdict: 3 out of 10 – Shinsuke did his thing for a few minutes and Corbin looked better than usual, but they only got a limited amount of time to kick some ass. Rick Boogs is Shinsuke’s guitarist now, so Shinsuke seems to be poised to have a renewed push as a featured act at the very least. Boogs did some cool guitar s—t to distract Corbin and Shinsuke won, because f—k yeah he did! Suck it! Shinsuke Nakamura: I change the diaper of the baby! Rick Boogs: I’ll guitar the s—t out of it! (Shinsuke’s theme plays over erotic diaper change…of orgasming Liberace) Liberace: Ohhhhhhh!!!!!! I don’t have AIDS yet! Ohhhhhhhh!!!!!! Me: Okay. Next match.

Match #3: Dominik Mysterio def. Robert Roode

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Five days after Rey Mysterio & Dominik Mysterio made history by winning the SmackDown Tag Team Titles as father and son at WrestleMania Backlash, Dominik overcame Robert Roode with the 619/Splash off the top rope combination.

The Verdict: 3 out of 10 – Not much happened here. Poor ol’ Bobby is getting much use these days. Dominik is looking better in record time, but not that much better overall. Rey’s son should not be doing his learning on TV like this, but he is learning well, so at least it’s going well. The match was brief and over before it really began, but it had a nice start and didn’t feel like it was going badly at any point. Next time, perhaps you should let Bobby have a chance to take Dominik through a fifteen minute bout so we get a quality match and Dominik can get a proper lesson in how to wrestle? Skunky Musiene: Vince McMahon doesn’t read these s—ty reviews, you pibber-brained arkenhalster! Me: Oh. I stand humiliated. Next match.

Match #4: (Main Event) Apollo Crews def. Big E., Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn – WWE Intercontinental Title Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After weeks of protecting his title from a multitude of competitors, Intercontinental Champion Apollo Crews took on Big E, Kevin Owens, and Sami Zayn in a Fatal 4-Way Championship Match in a showdown filled with jaw-dropping moments from all four Superstars. Although the imposing Commander Azeez was neutralized by Big E in final moments of the free-for-all, Aleister Black suddenly appeared from the darkness. With Crews holding Big E’s leg, Black delivered the earth-shattering Black Mass to The Powerhouse of Positivity, allowing Crews to pin Big E and retain his Intercontinental Title.

The Verdict: 7 out of 10 – These guys got a lot of time to make a great spectacle that was quite predictable in the final moments, but rather exciting often enough before that point. Owens didn’t figure into this match as much as I thought he would, despite performing well here. Zayn actually seemed to get more time in the spotlight than his close friend KO did. I was a bit surprised by that, but it happens when you have four people in one match. Crews performed well, but he felt like an afterthought here as well. Big E figured in prominently at the end, but this really was a match where no one actually felt like a star here. Now, that being said, this was not a match that made anyone look weak either. I had a good time seeing these guys go from one spot to the next in smooth succession. I wish there had been a lot more wrestling here, but that’s how most of these multi-man matches work in the WWE. I suppose it’s just enough that this was given time and did not fail to entertain. Well, there’s the main event for y…oh. Aleister Black returned and attacked Big E to cost him the match and the strap. That looks like a feud to me. Okay. There’s another excellent main event down.

Final Verdict: 5/10

Apart from the main event, this was a feeble show that relied on far too many promos to get the job done and far too many short matches to hold the card together. The Uso brothers continued their angle by getting booked to wrestle The Street Profits next week while Roman tries to gain control over Jey again. Cesaro challenged Roman to Hell in a Cell for the belt, but Seth Rollins attacked him to possibly set up an immediate continuation of the feud (or possibly some intricate booking where they pay that off later…nah). Skunky Musiene: Vince McMahon doesn’t read these s—ty reviews, you able-wabble, shimmaganzoid! Me: Who the hell are you? You keep co… Skunky Musiene: Skunky Musiene: Vince McMahon doesn’t read these s—ty reviews, you yibble-yabble, bubbulogganheimenazar! Me: I don’t give a f—k that you’re even alive! Skunky Musiene: I…I…oh. (pulls out gun…puts to own head) Me: Whoa! Hold on there partner. No need to shoot yourself. SM: Skunky Musiene sad. Skunky Musiene have sad life. Skunky wanna be loved. Me: Well, being rude is no way to do it. I just yelled at you and you’re already trying to off your own ass. How do you think I’ve felt the past few minutes? SM: Oh. Sorry. Me: Thank you. I’m sorry too. SM: Can I add to the review? Me: Sure. SM: Cesaro would be…good champion! Make him champion! Me: Well…alright! That’s a nice sentiment. SM: Bears should eat Rey Mysterio. Me: Ummmm… SM: Kidding! Me: Oh. Right. Gotcha. SM: Wish I had boobs. Could play with them for fun at zoo. Me: Well…that’s okay…strange…but okay. SM: YABBLEKABBLEWABBLEZEEEEEEEEEEEEM!!!!!!!! Me: YABBLEKABBLEWABBLEZEEEEEEEEEEEEM to all of you as well! See you next time!

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