17th May2021

‘WWE NXT: UK’ Review (May 13th 2021)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s NXT UK review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and this show has three matches that are the bomb, yo! Bomb! Bomb! Bomb! SWAT: Bomb threat has been called! Anal probe! Me: What?! What are you doing? Why are you near my ass? Fingers? What’s with those fingers? Your hand is near my ass! Why are those fingers near my ass?! SWAT: Things are starting! Anal probe! Me: Oh God! It’s like being with the Boy Scouts all over again! NXT UK starts NOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!

Match #1: Noam Dar def. Nathan Frazer – Heritage Rules Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Sha Samuels was the catalyst for an edge-of-your-seat Heritage Cup Rules Match between Nathan Frazer and Noam Dar, and he was also the difference-maker when the highflyer and The Scottish Supernova threw down in a grueling five-round bout. With the score knotted at 1-1 in Round 5, Samuels grabbed the leg of Frazer, who was positioned on the ring apron while the official checked on Dar. Frazer eventually booted Samuels to the floor, but the delay gave Dar enough time to recover and dodge Frazer’s springboard dropkick. Seconds later, Dar blasted his foe with the Nova Roller to claim the win. Round 1 concluded without either competitor scoring a decision, though Dar made sure to tattoo Frazer with a right elbow to the jaw after the bell. Frazer responded by getting the better of an exchange of pinning combinations, keeping Dar’s shoulders to the canvas for the 1-2-3 and taking a 1-0 lead less than a minute into Round 2. After a scoreless Round 3, Dar earned a decision in Round 4 when he evaded Frazer’s attempt at a springboard moonsault and ensnared his opponent in a Kneebar to force a tapout, setting the stage for his controversial pinfall victory in Round 5.

The Score: 7 out of 10

Match #2: Mark Andrews def. Levi Muir

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

New music, new gear, same highflying Mark Andrews. Just a few weeks after the forming Subculture alongside Flash Morgan Webster and Dani Luna, Andrews was his typical acrobatic self against the powerful Levi Muir. Muir had his opponent reeling with an uppercut and a torture rack, but Andrews scored the win with a Stundog Millionaire, a dive through the ropes, and a shooting star press.

The Score: 4 out of 10

Match #3: (Main Event) Meiko Satomura def. Isla Dawn, Emilia McKenzie, Dani Luna and Jinny – Gauntlet Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Though she wasn’t originally slated to compete in the No. 1 Contender’s Gauntlet Match, Meiko Satomura nevertheless took advantage of the opportunity to sub in for the injured Xia Brookside and emerged triumphant over Emilia McKenzie, Isla Dawn, Dani Luna and Jinny to earn another title bout against NXT UK Women’s Champion Kay Lee Ray. After making her typically cryptic entrance, Dawn kickstarted the marathon bout against McKenzie, her recent rival. Following a lengthy battle, The White Witch eliminated McKenzie with a kick to the face and a half-and-half. Luna hit the ring like a ball of fire and immediately clocked Dawn with a kick to the head, but Dawn recovered in time to pick up her second elimination by rolling up her opponent after Luna crashed shoulder-first into the ring post. To the surprise of the NXT UK Universe, Satomura next hit the squared circle as the replacement for Brookside, and she took Dawn out of the match by quickly transitioning from a submission hold to a pinning combination for the 1-2-3. Accompanied by Joseph Conners, the calculated Jinny entered the bout hellbent on earning another title fight with Ray. And although she had Satomura reeling after sending her neck-first into the middle rope before spiking her into the mat, Satomura nevertheless booted the meddling Conners off the apron and planted Jinny with the Scorpion Kick to become the No. 1 Contender. After the bout, Ray entered the ring and seemingly showed respect to Satomura in the form of a bow. When The Best in the World returned the gesture, however, she was greeted by a vicious kick to the face from The Forever Champion, who shouted “I’m the champion here, and no one is going to change that.”

The Score: 6 out of 10

Final Verdict: 6/10

This was a decent week that saw a few good matches hold the thing together. The Iron Shiek: NO GOOD MOTHER-F—KER! YOU GIVE THE SHOW THE GREAT RATING OR I F—K YOU UP YOU PIECE OF S—T! Me: Wait. I was ju… The Iron Shiek: SHUT THE F—K UP! THIS SHOW HAVE THE GOOD WRESTLING! F—K YOU! NO AM NOT DARK KICK S—T OUT OF THE F—KIN’ DUCK MAN! NO BULLS—T! THE LADY WRESTLERS CHICKED THE BROAD OUT OF EACH OTHER IN THE GOATLET MATCH! YOU LIKE HAIR-A-TAJ FIGHTING? WATCH OPENING MATCH WITH THE PUBE MAN! HE LOOK LIKE THE SHEEP-F—KER! I BITE YOU! MARK ANDREWS THE NO GOOD MOTHER-F—KER, BUT WRESTLE GOOD…F—GOT GOOD! PINCH THAT ASS! LOVE THE MAIN AMVANT, EVEN THOUGH IT NOT THAT GOOD. PIZZA ROLLS AM GLAZED DOUGHNUTS KICK THE ASS FOR CHRISTMAS DINNER! TEHRAN BITCHIN’! GOONTLAT MATCH KINDA SLOW, BUT HAVE THE GOOD STUFF! EAT S—T SHARON STONE! OPEN YOUR P—SY TO ME AND I F—K IT WITH LEAD PIPE IN YOUR ASS YOU NO GOOD MOTHER-F—KER! I LIKE THIS SHOW, EVEN WHEN IT NO LIKE ME. I NO C—K-SUCK! WHO THE REAL? IRON SHEIK THE REAL! SHIA LABEOUF CAN GO F—K HIMSELF! TRANSFORMER MOTHER-F—KER! IN THE NAME OF GOD GO F—K YOURSELF! I LIKE THIS SHOW, BUT IT NEED MORE TIME IN THE RING. YOU NEED MORE WRESTLING ON THE WRESTLING SHOW. NATHAN FAVEL IS THE BOTTOM-B—CH! POUND THAT ASS! BREAKING NEWS: GO F—K YOURSELF! WILL YOU MARRY ME…TO GO F—K YOURSELF?! DO YOU WANT TO WATCH THIS MIDDLE-OF-THE-F—KING-ROAD SHOW? I SAY IT GOOD IDEA. WHY DID THE CAGED BIRD SING? TO GO F—K YOURSELF! BILL BIXBY F—KED THE SUZANNE PLESHETTE BECAUSE YOU GO F—K YOURSELF! I LOVE YOU…TO GO F—K YOURSELF! NXT UK THE REAL. YOU COME BACK TO SEE MORE OF THE NXT UK. DON’T BE F—KING STUPID! HULK HOGAN! I COMING FOR YOU N—A…TO GO F—K YOURSELF! GOODNIGHT MOON…TO GO F—K YOURSELF! GOODNIGHT CLOUDS…TO GO F—K YOURSELF! GOODNIGHT CHARLES MANSON…TO GO F—K YOURSELF! GOODNIGHT THE NXT UK…TO GO F—K YOURSELF!

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