17th May2021

Friday Night Smackdown – May 14th 2021: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Friday Night SmackDown review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and I have brought together an army to rob a casino in a zombie-infested Las Vegas. This is…The Army Of The Dead! Wait…why aren’t they moving? Hey assholes! Get up! You think because you’re dead that you don’t have to do s—t?! Get up you lazy son of a bitches! Move! Being dead doesn’t mean you can’t hear! Hey! Dip-s—ts! Wake the f—k up! We’ve got s—t to do! We’re robbing a casino to get money! Do you f—ks want money?! You don’t stop wanting to be rich just because you’re dead! I want money! I want you pricks to get up! Get up! Get on up! James Brown: Get on up! Get on up! Like a sex machine! Get on up! H-h-h-h-h-h-h…HEYYYYYYY!!!!!!! Me: What the f—k?! James Brown: JIMMAWIMMAFIMMABANG!!!!! HEYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! Me: Huh? JB: GINANINAFA! YOUUUUUUU!!!!!! HEYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! Me: Oh God! First these dead f—ks won’t move and then this dead f—k does move, which is not what I wanted! JB: WIGADEBOGADEDO!!!!!! HEYYYYYYY!!!!!! Me: Heyyyyyyyy!!!!! What are you…no! Heyyyyyyy!!!!!!! Stop screwing my Army Of The Dead! JB: HUMPITYBUMPITYBANGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!! Me: I give up! F—k it! Start the f—kin’ show!

Match #1: Tamina & Natalya def. Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler – WWE Women’s Tag Team Titles Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Tamina & Natalya came out determined to end the reign of the dominant Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler in a WrestleMania rematch. The Irresistible Force delivered déjà vu to Tamina with another Samoan Drop into the barricades, but The Queen of Harts helped the challengers battle back. After another Samoan Drop to Natalya, Tamina sprang into action with a Superfly Splash that clinched the shocking title win.

The Score: 6 out of 10

Match #2: Rey Mysterio def. Dolph Ziggler

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Just two days ahead of the SmackDown Tag Team Title Match at WrestleMania Backlash, Rey Mysterio and Dolph Ziggler went at it hoping to make one final statement. A controversial near low blow on a slide from The Master of the 619 incensed Robert Roode, but The Showoff rallied back and nearly grabbed a win with a Famouser. However, Rey would follow his son Dominik’s lead from last week and catch Ziggler by surprise with a quick roll-up win.

The Score: 6 out of 10

Match #3: King Corbin def. Shinsuke Nakamura

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

In a battle of royalty, King Corbin used his strength to reign supreme over The King of Strong Style. After an acrobatic reversal allowed Shinsuke Nakmura to lock in a triangle hold, Corbin powered through into a pin that led to the victory. Nakamura was far from finished as a Kinshasa downed Corbin and allowed The King of Strong Style to steal his rival’s beloved crown.

The Score: 3 out of 10

Match #4: (Main Event) Cesaro def. Jimmy Uso (DQ)

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Jimmy Uso was looking to make a statement after over a year away from the squared circle, but Cesaro had his own message to deliver. The Swiss Superman put his strength and athleticism on display with a cannonball that grounded Uso and a massive Superplex that shook the ring. As Cesaro showed his dominance, Roman Reigns entered the fray, but his WrestleMania Backlash challenger had the final word with back-to-back Neutralizers on Jey Uso to end the night.

The Score: 6 out of 10

Final Verdict: 6/10

This was an alright show! Cesaro and Jimmy Uso had a fine match that ended way too quickly. That was the main event. I didn’t pay attention to anything else. Why? I work for the post office! That’s not my job to remember what happened on a show I watched! What am I, psychic?! Rey and Dolph had a good one. I had a Quaalude. I’m f—ked up bro! Vince Russo: I love love bro! Me: Shut up, woman! VR: Bro! Bro! Bro! Bro! Bro! Bro! Me: DJ Ballz! DJ Ballz: I’m gay! VR: Bro! Me: The wrestling here was good and solid, like a whale’s dookie-dook. VR: Bro! Me: TGI Fridays has delicious food and…no…no…nooooooooo!!!!!!! The…product placening! Oh God! This show was built around Cesaro begin shown as a star and…Shinsuke. Yes. We need to discuss Shinsuke Nakamura and his match with King Corbin. Shinsuke lost, but stole Corbin’s crown and did his kooky, crazy, edgy bit where he draws things out to sinister effect. Shinsuke took a long time to lift Corbin’s crown and made it look like a big deal. Shinsuke is now The King Of Strong Style again and has the King Of The Ring crown to wear. VR: Bro! Me: Get over it! Asians can draw! VR: Bro! No! Me: Yes! This was a show where The Anoai/Fatu family continued to tease dissention. This does draw up some interest for WrestleMania Backlash, but is it interest that people will actually find interesting? VR: Swerve ‘em bro! Me: Stop using that as a crutch! VR: They want a match…give ‘em herpes! Bro! Me: (shoots Vince Russo) Bro. This was not the best SmackDown, but it was decent and held down the fort. Zombie Vince Russo: Bro…ains! Me: Good! Now you can help me rob this casino in Las Vegas! ZVR: Bro! Zombie Vince Russo doesn’t do work bro! Me: See you next time.

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