30th Apr2021

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (Apr 29th 2021)

by Phil Wheat

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we are here with Little Richard to have some pizza and enjoy Impact’s first night with Kenny “Switch-Hitter” Omega as the World Champion. Little Richard: I’m dead baby! Awooooooo!!!!!!! Me: Let’s…what the… The Noid: Hwooooooo!!!!!! Me: You again! Yaghhhhhh!!!!!! Little Richard: What’s the little asshole want? Me: Pizza! Our pizza! Little Richard: I want some pizza…a pizza that ass! The Noid: Ooooooo. Me: What? (hot Little Richard/Noid lovin’) Little Richard: Imma pound that red, squishy ass! The Noid: Ooooooo. Little Richard: Oooooo yeah. Me: What? Little Richard: Awoooooooooo!!!!!!!! Me: Nope! F–k it! Not doing this s–t! Impact starts now! Oh God! The smell! Kaffgh! Kaffgh!

Match #1: Chris Bey def. Jake Something

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Bey traps him in the ropes, then connects with a flying elbow drop off the second. Bey soars through the air once again, taking Jake off his feet with a flying forearm. Jake hits a double axe-handle to gain momentum, followed by a sit-down powerbomb for two. Bey retreats to the apron but Jake makes him pay for it by launching him back into the ring. Rohit hooks Jake’s leg from the outside. Bey capitalizes by rolling him up with his feet on the ropes to steal the victory.

The Score: 7 out of 10

Match #2: W. Morrissey def. Sam Beale

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Morrissey drops the mic and charges into the corner, squashing Beale with a huge splash. Morrissey places Beale on the top turnbuckle and sends him crashing back down the mat with a punt kick. Morrissey makes quick work of his opponent as he connects with a thunderous powerbomb for three.

The Score: 1 out of 10

Match #3: Taylor Wilde def. Kimber Lee

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Taylor Wilde is set to compete for the first time in over a decade as she officially comes out of retirement tonight. Kimber gains the early advantage with a running dropkick right at the opening bell. Taylor shows off her quickness and athleticism with a series of running clotheslines. Kimber counters a Sharpshooter attempt, then pulls Taylor throat-first into the bottom rope. Kimber distracts the referee while Susan attacks Taylor with her shoe at ringside. Kimber crashes and burns with a top rope Swanton. Taylor capitalizes and locks in a modified Indian Deathlock to win by submission.

The Score: 6 out of 10

Match #4: Josh Alexander def. Ace Austin – X-Division Title Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

After Josh Alexander defeated Ace Austin and TJP to become the new X-Division Champion at Rebellion, he has granted the former champ his rematch just a few days later on IMPACT! Josh softens up Ace with a vicious backbreaker. Ace quickens the pace and delivers a flurry of innovative offense, culminating with a running bulldog for two. Ace brings out his laminated playing card and gives Alexander a brutal papercut. Ace hits a springboard Hurricanrana but Alexander comes right back with a Chaos Theory suplex. Ace breaks up an Ankle Lock attempt with an Enzuigiri to the back of the head. Alexander goes for the Divine Intervention on the ring apron but Ace counters by driving him back-first into the steel post. Alexander fights off Fulton at ringside but the distraction allows Ace time to recover. Alexander counters a Divine Intervention attempt from Ace, then locks in the Ankle Lock to win by submission.

The Score: 8 out of 10

Match #5: Matt Cardona def. Brian Myers

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

This is a rematch from last Sunday’s Rebellion PPV where Myers showed no remorse putting away an injured Matt Cardona with the Roster Cut. The former friends brawl on the ramp to kick things off. Cardona is fired up, sending Myers crashing into the steel guardrail with a side Russian legsweep. The bell rings and Myers targets the previously injured knee of Cardona. Cardona throws caution to the wind and hits a sliding dropkick. Every time Cardona tries to get something going, his knee gives out and Myers regains control. Cardona hits Sky High for a near fall. Cardona counters the Roster Cut into Radio Silence for three!

The Score: 7 out of 10

Match #6: (Main Event) Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Edwards (No Contest)

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Sami Callihan and Eddie Edwards renew their storied rivalry with the winner earning a spot in the 6-way #1 contenders match at Under Siege. Callihan superkicks him off the top rope, then begins the wear-down process with a vicious headlock. Eddie sends Callihan soaring with a top rope Hurricanrana. It looks as though Eddie is headed to Under Siege after hitting the Blue Thunder Bomb but Callihan kicks out at two. Callihan counters the Boston Knee Party into a pop-up powerbomb. Out of nowhere, Kenny Omega and The Good Brothers arrive and attack Callihan to cause the disqualification.

The Score: 5 out of 10

Final Verdict: 7/10

The show was built around the tournament for Under Siege to establish who will be in the six-way for the World Title shot match at Under Siege. Bey and Cardona made it into the match, while Sami and Eddie got clobbered by Kenny Omega and The Good Brothers and got their qualifier shut down. That all being said, the best parts of this show we’re of Taylor Wilde returning from retirement and Josh defending the X-Title. I mean, the Under Siege qualifiers were excellent by and large. This whole show worked out rather well. Morrissey still needs a lot of work, but he might be good in a few years. I look forward to seeing how his career works out. As for the rest, we didn’t have to endure a million promos, which is always good. There was no extended comedy skits. Thank God…or Satan/Jerry Seinfeld. Under Siege… Gary Busey: I have large teeth buddy! They call me ol’ chopper-jaw! Gnanananananana!!!!!! Me: Not that Under Siege! Gary Busey: What?! That’s bull-s–t! I wanna be on a boat! Me: Go cut grass, mower-mouth! Gary Busey: Olivia Newton John is a loser. Me: Impact needed to have a hit post Rebellion and it got one. Several of the matches were fine as wine and that’s great mate. Gary Busey: Only queers rhyme Tater-Tit McS–t. Little Richard: Shut up! You ruinin’ the banging! The Noid: Uhuhuhuhuhuh!!!!!!! Gary Busey: Oh dear Lord! It’s the God damn Vietcong! Me: What a sexy episode. All right. I’m done. Go away. I love you. I’ll see you next time. Little Richard: Come on back for some pizza…a pizza that ass! Awooooooo!!!!!!!


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