12th Apr2021

‘NWA: Powerrr’ Review (Apr 6th 2021)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s NWA: Powerrr review, right here on Nerdly.  I’m Nathan Favel and Mark Wahlberg is here.  Why?  Mark Wahlberg:  I’m Mark Wahlberg bitch!  Me:  Oh God.  He’s talking.  MW:  I’m an actor.  Me:  Oh God.  He’s talking.  MW:  I like rap!  Me:  Oh God. He’s still talking.  MW:  I sleep a lot!  Me:  Really?  Show me.  I’ll pay you.  MW:  My brother f—ks Jim Carrey’s leftovers!  Me:  That’s a way of putting that.  MW:  My dip-s—t brother runs my family’s burger shop, Wahlburgers!  Me:  There’s a scary thought.  MW:  I didn’t blind that guy!  Me:  That’s not what…everybody said.  MW:  Pocahontas!  Me:  Oh God.  He’s talking.  Do you even like wrestling?  MW:  John Cena! Me:  Do…don’t do that.  I said “wrestling”, not bull-s—t.  MW:  John Cena is great!  Me:  Sometimes he is…sometimes not.  MW:  I look like John Cena!  Me:  Yeah, if he was a dick-pimple.  MW:  GRRRRRRAAAAAAA!!!!!  Me:  Listen buddy.  I have a National Wrestling Alliance show to review.  Go away.  MW:  I want apple juice!  Me:  Here.  MW:  Yay!  Benny Hill:  We’re running around!  (Benny Hill chase music)  Me:  Wait!  Don’t run into that gas chamber!  (they run into the chamber) MW & BH:  AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!  (they disintegrate)  Me:  Huh.  Well, I feel bad.  Sidney Poitier:  No you don’t!  You said you don’t care about people!  Me:  Oh right.  NWA: Powerrr starts now.

[Author’s Note:  The following review features three wrestlers (Tyrus, Thom Latimer and Crimson), who were accused of sexual harassment and assault respectively.  None of these men have been found guilty or innocent of the alleged crimes in a court of law.  If the presence of these three men is alarming or offensive to you, then viewer discretion is advised].

Match #1:  Strictly Business (Thom Latimer and Chris Adonis) defeated The End (Parrow & Odinson)

The Score:  6 out of 10

  • The Good:  This was a pretty solid way to kick off the card.  Both teams sorta slammed into each other like it was date night at the Fuzzy Anal.  Drop da beet!  The End met their end by losing.  Isn’t that just stellar writing?  I am the best…NOT!  As far as the kind of action that you get, you’re seeing big people imposing that size on each other, like Daniel Stern in Macaulay Culkin’s trailer.  Bull-s—t!  Never happened!  You know what did happen though?  We got Parrow and Odinson giving us a reason to shave our butts in the mornin’.  Hell, I thought The End should have won.  They were a team worth booking.
  • The Bad:  I didn’t watch this.  I made all that up.  I just asked my assistant, McJimmy, what happened and he told me that stuff.  I’m just yankin’ your chain!  This was a limited match in terms of what it was willing to do.  This felt stifled by only getting a certain amount of time and all my usual complaints.
  • The Verdict:  2004: Vintage Charm.  This was a succinct opener that felt like a prom dress given to a monkey with a lizard biting it’s butt. Monkey:  OOOOoOOOOoOooOoOooO!!!!!!!!  Me:  Shut up!  Take the lizard off!  Monkey:  OOOOOooOOooOOOOOoO!!!!!!!  Stop gibberin’!  What’s the matter with you?!  Monkey:  OOoOooOoOoooOOoO!!!!!!  Take the lizard off that ass and f—k off!  Next match.

Match #2:  Sliced Boogie & Matthew Mims defeated The War Kings (Jax Dane & Crimson)

The Score: 3 out of 10

  • The Good:  The winning team looked lively here.  The War Kings were highlighted by Dane’s selling of the opposing team’s offense and Crimson’s selling of his friend being hurt.
  • The Bad:  As a match, this lacked any really strong moment of thrilling wrestling action.
  • The Verdict:  With far too much of a focus on telling a story, this bout forgot to be a good wrestling match.

Match #3:  (Main Event) The Pope defeated Fred Rosser – NWA World Television Championship Match

The Score:  7 out of 10

  • The Good:  Now this was fun.  Pope and Fred matched-up quite well, as both men were very vigorous in their offense and defense.  This felt like they were not just trying to out-match each other, but out-wit each other as well.  This was a white-knuckle thrill-ride that always had another way to surprise you with what attack they would try next or what counter they would use to block or reverse a maneuver.  Pope brought his boundless charisma and charm to the mix and it made that mixture thick and hearty, like dick-cheese soup.  Fred performed the match like he had a shot at winning and why wouldn’t he?  The only people that don’t know you’re losing are we viewers, so why not pretend you’ve got a shot at being the champion?  I believed this match, because both fighters wrestled like it was a contest between two wrestlers who were capable enough to achieve victory on any given night.
  • The Bad:  The match could have used a bit more time.  It would have been nice to see a few more intricate transitions and counters.  More is the story of why this didn’t break through to the next level.  Sometimes, more really is more.
  • The Verdict:  The champion retained in superb fashion, while the challenger proved their mettle once again.  That’s a successful main event to me.

Final Verdict:  6 out of 10

This was a show that mostly focused on promos and storylines, with Taryn Terrell offering to manage Thunder Rosa and being denied, while Nick Aldis is going to war with Trevor Murdoch on a night where he opened the recruitment process for Strictly Business to any wrestler in the world.  Tyrus (with Austin Idol) is poised to challenge The Pope for the NWA National Championship at some point, evidenced by his appearance after Pope’s defense of the strap.  The fact that the first two matches of the show aren’t even in the top five biggest news stories of the show is a problem.  Powerrr, like most wrestling shows, spends so much time selling you on the next show that they forget to make the one they’re on now a hit.  At least the main event was good.  That being said, it would be nice if each match on this show was given the attention of the main events that Billy Corgan books.

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