06th Apr2021

‘Ring Of Honor: 19th Anniversary’ Event Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this review of Ring Of Honor’s 19th Anniversary card, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and thou shalt not steal! So sayeth unto the word of God! The lord beith my shepherd! Unbegone from my tendered loins sprayed the pride of man. Whoeth so ever pulleth mine thumpeded heart like the beating of the great cockadoodledoo! Jumpeth did I atop the swimming shark and sayeth I unto you…ehhhhhh! We come now to the threshold of this most honorable ring. For 19 years haveth this mighty league of men and women braved so low a sport of false acts. Where hath been so deserved a hand upon the shoulder? Where have been the words of praise without the tongue everso forked? Why must this land run dry when greener grass to only those astride the path is bathed in the sweet nectar of the morning pour? I sayeth now and unto you that this place and this time shall be as revered as it ever shall have ever meant to be, both now and forever. This is Ring Of Honor’s 19th Anniversary! Huzzah! Skoogy: Man, that sounded stupid! Shuch yo mouf! Me: God said for you to blow it out your ass! Wrestling…now!

[Author’s Note: This review features Jay Lethal, who has been accused of various sex crimes. Jay Lethal has been proven neither guilty nor innocent of his alleged crimes. If the presence of Jay Lethal alarms or disturbs you, then viewer discretion is advised]

  1. Brian Johnson defeated Danhausen, Eli Isom and LSG
    – My score: 5/10

  2. Shane Taylor Promotions (Shane Taylor, Kaun and Moses) (c) defeated MexiSquad (Bandido, Flamita and Rey Horus) – ROH World Six-Man Tag Team Championship Match
    – My score: 5/10

  3. Tracy Williams defeated Kenny King – ROH World Television Championship Match
    – My score: 7/10

  4. Flip Gordon defeated Mark Briscoe
    – My score: 7/10

  5. Dalton Castle defeated Josh Woods (with Silas Young)
    – My score: 7/10

  6. Jay Briscoe defeated EC3
    – My score: 7/10

  7. Bandido defeated Flamita and Rey Horus
    – My score: 7/10

  8. Vincent versus Matt Taven – Unsanctioned Match
    – My score: 6/10

  9. Jonathan Gresham (c) defeated Dak Draper – ROH Pure Championship Match
    – My score: 8/10

  10. The Foundation (Rhett Titus and Tracy Williams) defeated La Faccion Ingobernable (La Bestia del Ring and Kenny King) (with Amy Rose) (c) – ROH World Tag Team Championship Match
    – My score: 7/10

  11. Rush (c) defeated Jay Lethal – ROH World Championship Match
    – My score: 8/10

The Proclamation: The lord God hath declared that this card was…

7/10

Skoogy: That’s stupid. You juzz said all duh matches wuz a 7 an’ you done damn juzz kapt the damn numba for the end of the review. You lazy! Me: Silence naïve! Skoogy: F—k you! Me: This was a card of good matches of varying lengths. Most found themselves bereft of such that with which only the briefest dreams could ever hope to lull the slumbering babe in the twilight of the night. Skoogy: How much smoke you gonna blow outcha azz? Me: Silence beeotch! Skoogy: Why not just say dat the matches wuz okay up until dat Pure Title fight baby? Me: I did! Skoogy: Bull-s—t! The Iron Shiek: THE NAYTHUN SHOULD SHUT THE F—K UP! Me: You desert rat! How dare ye speak of my review of this 19th Anniversary spectacular with such impudence?! The Iron Shiek: HERE YE! HERE YE! WE GATHER HERE TODAY TO GO F—K YOURSELF! Skoogy: Already did that by not telling folks why the Pure Title and World Title match wuz da best. Me: I’m getting to that! These two bouts were of sterling mettle! Consider the performance of Draper the challenger and Rush the champion. In their respective bouts, they showed why they deserve to be seen amongst the more familiar Gresham and Lethal. What of Gresham? Has he not shown his worth as both competitor and technician? Lethal proved his athleticism once again. I have seen the best from the very best and been satiated by the very site of them! Skoogy: Dat’s better, baby. The Iron Shiek: THAT’S NOT BULL-S—T BUBBA! Me: I deem this show of solid stock and righteous intent. While this show was no masterpiece of glory, it was of noble purpose and careful execution. God hath delivered unto us this…God?! God: …AND ON THE SEVENTH DAY I SAID THE GO F—K YOURSELF BUBBA! Me: I…thanks for reading folks. This was pretty good wrestling. I…I gotta go take a s—t…a long one. Adios amigos.

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