25th Mar2021

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (Mar 23rd 2021)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and Gloria Gimpsey is here to aid us in our discussion of Impact’s show this week. Gloria Gimpsey: My husband is dead! Me: Ummmmm… GG: A bear ate him! Me: A bear? GG: (sobbing) It ripped his ass out of his eyes! Me: Ummmm… GG: The last thing he ever saw was s—t! Why has God done this to me?! Me: Well, they say God might not even be real… GG: What?! God’s not real?! Then this s—t happened for no reason?! That’s even worse! I prayed to no one! Me: Ummmm… GG: I’ve wasted my life! Me: Maybe God is real… GG: Hail Satan! Me: Uh oh. GG: I call upon the master! Bring me the powers of Hell! I shall destroy the world of Man! Me: Uh oh. GG: All of the sluts shall die! Me: Well that’s un-called for. GG: My husband died, so now I’m a racist! Me: Ummmmm… GG: I hate n… (tree falls on Gloria and kills her) Me: First off, I’m so glad that we had that recorded on the TalkTech. Who would believe this s—t? Second, lots of people have bad s—t happen to them and they don’t go off and summon the fires of Hell to do their bidding, so she probably deserved to be smashed by a f—king tree. Finally, Impact starts now.

Before The Impact:

Match #1: Tasha Steelz def. Alisha

  • The Good: Well bust my grandson! This was purdy good! Alisha has come a long way for someone who’s not quite there yet and Tasha just keeps getting better and better. These two wrestlers battled back and forth rather aggressively and kept that aggression going from bell to bell. I was impressed at how vicious this was. You get a lot of competitive action here that felt like it was guts and glory at the most primal level.
  • The Bad: It coulda been a smarter match, if only in terms of the wrestling part. Also, this shut down just when it was ready to blast into the next gear.
  • The Verdict: This was pretty damn good. There are worst matches to watch this week and that’s for sure.

The Score: 6 out of 10

IMPACT Wrestling:

Match #1: Deonna Purrazzo def. Jazz

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

After forcing Kimber Lee to submit in the huge 6 on 6 Knockouts tag last week, Jazz now collides with the Knockouts Champion in non-title action. D’Lo Brown notes that Kimber Lee was injured last week and that is why she is not at ringside with Susan. Jazz fights off Susan who tries to get involved from ringside. Deonna capitalizes off the distraction as she wears Jazz down. Deonna attempts to lock in the Fujiwara Armbar but Jazz counters into a facebuster. Susan puts Deonna’s foot on the ropes in order to break the count. Jordynne has seen enough but Susan baits her in and sends her into the steel ring post. Susan clobbers Jazz with her shoe, allowing Deonna to roll her up and score the pin.

The Score: 6 out of 10

  • The Good: Jazz and Deonna went right to the ground and made it work. This was very good for the brief time that we got. There were no wasted movements and no false ones either. Jazz looked strong and confident in the role of hungry veteran. Deonna didn’t get swallowed-up by Jazz’s natural charisma. I though they made for a fine pairing.
  • The Bad: This got cut off way too early and was hindered by a lame finish.
  • The Verdict: Not bad for so short an opener.

Match #2: Ace Austin def. TJP – X-Division Title Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

At Sacrifice, Ace Austin defeated TJP to become the new X-Division Champion in a jaw-dropping encounter. Tonight, TJP gets his rematch with the title on the line. Ace counters a Superplex into a top rope Gord Buster to take control. Ace hits a jumping leg drop for two. TJP locks in a submission but Fulton pulls Ace towards the ropes in order to break the hold. It’s a stalemate as both men take each other out with double clotheslines. TJP connects with the Detonation Kick, followed by the Mamba Splash but Fulton breaks the pin to cause the disqualification.

The Score: 6 out of 10

  • The Good: You’re gonna get plenty of dynamic wrestling action from these two in a rematch from Sacrifice. Ace and TJP went right to the goods from the get-go. Talk about a jolt of juice to the jammer. This match was kinetic moves bound one right after the other to make a chain that had no weak links. Both champion and challenger played their roles just right. Ace really reminded me that he can feel like the star of the show. Ace has the goods. He better not be a perv. I’m so tired of these people being pervs (aren’t we all). There’s so much good action in here.
  • The Bad: The DQ at the end was bull-s—t. I get that leagues feel like they have to do this extend feuds, but you could also extend feuds by delivered full matches that are good and warrant sequels. Also, this felt like a twenty minute match stuffed into eight or nine or what-ever the length was.
  • The Verdict: This was a dirty tease for the real sequel which almost certainly happen (unless these bookers are stupid) and the mud was almost enjoyable to get flung in my eyes.

Match #3: Rohit Raju def. Fallah Bahh

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Fallah hits a belly-to-belly suplex in the early going. Fallah attempts a running crossbody but Rohit avoids it to gain control. Rohit connects with a series of kicks to remain in the driver’s seat. Fallah puts all of his body weight behind a big twisting slam. Fallah crashes and burns with the Banzai Splash, allowing Rohit to capitalize with a top rope foot stomp. Rohit traps Fallah in a crucifix pin with a hold of the tights to steal the victory.

The Score: 5 out of 10

  • The Good: Rohit and Fallah had a bit of a Japanese strong-style vibe here that was mostly Bahh using palm pushes, but I guess that counts. Rohit was a little bastard here, always giving Bahh trouble at every chance he could. Bahh was like a chubby Kenny Omega at certain points, which is an interesting way to wrestle no matter how you shake the baby.
  • The Bad: This didn’t quite move to the next level. You do get the sense that these guys could have some electrifying matches together (50,000 volts or less), but this tease of what they could do when let off the lease was no enough for the major broadcast of Impact.
  • The Verdict: Debbie Harry owns a sexy kangaroo and I liked this for what it was and for what it could be.

Match #4: Trey Miguel def. Acey Romero

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Acey displays his power advantage in the opening moments of the match as he hits a massive sidewalk slam. Acey follows up with a splash to the back of Trey for two. Trey springs off the ropes but Acey catches him in mid-air with a huge shoulder tackle. Trey turns the tide with a jumping cutter, followed by the Meteora to win.

The Score: 6 out of 10

  • The Good: This was a real slam-bang fight from bell to bell. These guys knocked each other around like Mike on Ike. Hold the M! Trey was fiery and angry. The whole idea about Trey this time out was how angry he was for losing to Sami Callihan and it made the match into a ball of fire as a result. Acey was fast again. I miss fast Acey. Every-thing here was crisp as apples and sharp as Reese Witherspoon’s chin.
  • The Bad: It needed more time. Maybe there could have been a bit more grappling in the first third of this to give this match more of a foundation.
  • The Verdict: It had its flaws, but the match was no less exciting because of them either.

Match #5: (Main Event) Karl Anderson def. Eddie Edwards

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Eddie clotheslines Anderson to the floor, then dives into both members of The Good Brothers on the outside. Anderson sends Eddie crashing off the top after a distraction from Gallows. Instead of ejecting him from ringside, referee Brian Hebner forces Gallows to stay seated in a chair. Anderson remains in control as he wears Eddie down with a headlock. Eddie fights back with a series of strikes, followed by a Gord Buster. Eddie connects with the Backpack Stunner for two. Moments later, Eddie almost puts Anderson away after hitting the Blue Thunder Bomb. Anderson runs through Eddie with a dropkick for another near fall. Eddie rolls up Anderson but gets pushed into a steel chair being held by Gallows at ringside. The referee doesn’t see it, allowing Anderson to put Eddie away with his signature Spinebuster.

The Score: 5 out of 10

  • The Good: These guys had some nice brawling going on. They both looked ready to die at one point, so you could call that passion…maybe. These fighters never went too far out of the realm of a fight and that was a benefit much of the time.
  • The Bad: This was really disappointing. I always wanted to see this pairing and…it was dull. Eddie’s technical skills were not on display and neither were Karl’s. This felt like a WWE match. This match felt like it could have been stumbled through by any-one.
  • The Verdict: What a feeble bout that was too many shades of pale for my taste. These guys tried, but it just didn’t work this time. Damn.

Major News:

  1. Sami Callihan wants to go after the World Title.
  2. Sami Callihan saved Trey Miguel from XXXL’s attack.
  3. Kenny Omega walked out of Tony Khan’s weekly paid-ad.
  4. Kenny Omega and Rich Swann cut promos on their Winner Takes All World Title Match at Rebellion.
  5. FinJuice cut a promo via the teleprompter at the end of the show to chide The Good Brothers before their Rebellion re-match.
  6. Tommy Dreamer is trying to be Trey Miguel’s mentor.
  7. James Storm will fight Eric Young in the former’s 1000th match, next week.
  8. Matt Cardona challenged Brian Myers to a fight.

Final Verdict: 6/10

In the ring, this show was pretty good. The booking did this show no favors, but the roster did.

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