22nd Mar2021

‘MLW: Fusion’ Review (Mar 17th 2021)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s MLW: Fusion review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and Daniel Baldwin is not dumb-stupid! Me smart! Alec dumb! Stephen Baldwin buck-toothed dip-s—t! Billy Baldwin good-looking! Adam sissy! Daniel Baldwin run into wall! Ow! Casey Anthony: I didn’t kill my daughter. Daniel Baldwin: I like cheese! Me: Oh God! The change happened again! I was The Baldwins…and that moose that ate the baby! This has got to stop! Wait…f—k it. Let’s start the review.

Match #1: Lio Rush def. Brian Pillman Jr. – MLW Middleweight Title Match

The following is courtesy of mlw.com:

Pre-match, Lio calls Pillman a “cosplay clown” but Brian looks like he has the eye of the tiger as the champ makes his way to the ring. The belt is hoisted and the bell sounds. Each men take their time at getting offense and it’s Pillman who shoves Lio to the ropes before a reset. Standing switch by Lio until Brian flings him off. Brian side headlocks Lio down as Rush turns it into a head scissors. Rush tries to shoulder tackle Pillman down, but Pillman ain’t having it and gives him one of his own. Big time dropkick by Brian, but it only is good for a one count.Rush adverts Brian’s attacks to head scissors him and Brian goes out of the ring frustrated. Lio attempts a head scissors to the outside, but after being caught calls an audible for a couple kicks before launching off the ropes for an Asai moonsault. Back in the ring, Lio gets a one count. Rush makes sure Brian stays grounded and nails him with a rolling uppercut to the back of the head. He covers for a two count. Both men both get back to vertical base and Pillman goes for a wheelbarrow attempt. Lio turns it into a mat splash and gets another two count. Lio catches Brian in a waist lock. Brian elbows himself almost out of it ,but Lio keeps it secure. Rush then calls up some crisp kicks, but Brian yells out, asking him for more. Pillman does happen to fire himself up with that, getting in some uppercuts and elbows before turning Lio inside out with a lariat. A flashy pin only gets a two count! Brian soon attempts a his patented springboard lariat, but Rush boots Brian off the apron. Pillman gets back in the ring and tries to catch Lio with a powerslam. Lio scouts it out and hits him with an enziguri! Lio slowly climbs up top to perhaps go for the Final Hour, but Brian strikes him and delivers a beauty of a super plex. Pillman looks to seek out his Dire Promise DDT, but gets rolled up for a pin attempt. That has Brian out of sort and Lio launches himself off the ropes for a springboard cutter. Rush makes the most of that window of opportunity and hits his Final Hour frog splash for the 1-2-3!

The Score: 6 out of 10

  • The Good: Rush and Pillman had a very athletic sprint around the ring here. You get plenty of spots where Rush would use his sudden bursts of speed to break the momentum of Pillman’s offense. There’s a certain aggressive streak Pillman had here that I really liked. Maybe it’s the mullet? Rush has that Cheetos thing going on with his hair. It ain’t eazay beein cheezay! One of the nice things about the wrestling was that it was a mixture of different styles, but it all blended well when put into practice. This wasn’t just dives and slams. There was some substance to this action. Pillman keeps getting better and better and I work at the Pottery Barn. Here’s your pot!
  • The Bad: As a grappling match, this didn’t quite measure-up. This didn’t feel like the kind of contest that a prize fight deserves to be. While there was plenty of exciting moments of fierce action here, it all didn’t add up to a match that was better than the sum of its parts.
  • The Verdict: This was a fun match that had a lot of thrilling parts to it, but it lacked the cohesion to be a thoroughly sound wrestling bout/I’m full of s—t.

Match #2: Mil Muertes w/ Salina de la Renta def. Parrow

The following is courtesy of mlw.com:

Bell rings and the two monsters stare one another down. Neither men can knock one another down as the two trade shots. Parrow hits Mil with some massive right hands, but Muertes dropkicks the knees and begins his attack with a low DDT and hard right hands. He pounds Parrow’s head rapidly off the turnbuckle before hitting a series of hard lariats at the big man. Parrow catches Muertes with a back elbow, but Muertes immediately fires back with another lariat. The fight spills to the outside as MLW’s camera crew shows us that Bu Ku Dao has been laid out backstage! Muertes drives Parrow into the side of the ring, but Parrow knees him as he enters. Parrow finds his groove as he lays Muertes out with a full nelson slam! Hard right hands from Muertes, and Mil spins the monster down with powerslam and a near fall. Muertes, however, finds his victory after Parrow misses a clothesline and he catches him with a Straight to Hell flatliner!

The Score: 3 out of 10

  • The Good: Muertes beat the d—k out of Parrow’s ass. I was glad that these guys went at it like two bears on the prowl for the same prey, which is something that Parrow would know all about. Hiya! This was like watching Vince McMahon’s wet dream go wrong in all the ways that Pat Patterson always hoped they would go right to. In other words, the wrestling was good for being in a short match of almost no rhyme or reason.
  • The Bad: It was a squash.
  • The Verdict: These guys smacked each other around for a few minutes and then it ended. It sounds like Parrow and his boyfriend on a Saturday night. Hiya! Overall, this was everything Adam Carolla never wanted to see on The Man Show…sweaty half-naked men.

Match #3: (Main Event) Los Parks (LA Park and Hijo de LA Park) w/ Salina de la Renta def. Injustice (Jordan Oliver and Myron Reed) and Contra Unit (Daivari and Simon Gotch) – No Disqualification Triple Threat MLW Tag Team Title Match

The following is courtesy of mlw.com:

Before the champions even make it to the ring, CONTRA comes out and attacks Injustice. Myron and Oliver fight back but everyone gets leveled thanks to The Chairman! The brawl breaks out at ringside and LA jabs Oliver with a chair as Myron and Gotch wield kendo sticks. LA Park Jr. came rolling out from under the ring to play a factor! Daivari and Reed go back and forth in the ring until El Hijo comes in with a chair. The bell officially rings as El Hijo rings Reed’s bell with a steel chair. Oliver coaxes Los Parks in the ring and continues to fight them, but this time it’s not LA Park, but LA Park Jr.! They level Oliver with a chair who rolls out the the ring as LA Park attacks Oliver while he is laid out. Gotch happens to be the one to crawl under and pull the daddy out. He attacks LA Park in the ring, but El Hijo nails Gotch with the Kendo. The father and son work over Simon as they ward off Daivari. Daivari chokes out El Hijo in the corner as Gotch and Park continue to duke it out. Park catches Gotch crisp with a splash in the corner before he lariats the CONTRA member down. Injustice attack El Hijo before they come in and dump out Simon. Reed dives on top of his foes onto the outside, but those said foes catch him. Luckily, Oliver follows up and crashes into everyone. Soon enough, CONTRA hits a double team Gotch Piledriver on Oliver and CONTRA makes the cover, but that gets broken up! El Hijo takes Gotch out of the equation with a tope and that opens up the perfect opportunity for LA Park to hit Oliver with his spear for the 1-2-3!

The Score: 2 out of 10

  • The Good: They brawled. There were some weapons. Nobody’s masks fell off.
  • The Bad: This was a mess. I got a headache just watching this.
  • The Verdict: If you like brawling, then there is something in here for you. That being said, this match didn’t come together.

Final Verdict: 4/10

The usual complaints about too many promos aside, the wrestling here peaked after the first match. I get that there are people out there who are obsessed with story-telling in wrestling shows, but you do have to actually earn the right to do that in a show by having a card that delivers matches worth remembering. The last two matches here felt like they never had a chance to do more than just set-up other matches. This is supposed to be a wrestling show. Where’s the f—king wrestling?

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