18th Mar2021

‘AEW: Dynamite – St. Patrick’s Day Slam’ Review (Mar 17th 2021)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s AEW: Dynamite review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have a big problem: carnies. F–king circus folk piss me off. A buck for two balls? How about a buck for my foot up your ass?! Don’t stare at my ass! You ain’t gettin’ s–t! Gimme those ducks! You ain’t eatin’ duck d–k you d–k! WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA! Sorry, sorry, Canadian sorry. I just hate those Carney f–ks. Okay, let’s get to Dynamite.

Match #1: Cody Rhodes def. Penta El Zero M

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Penta El Zero Miedo is 5-2 in his past 7 singles matches. Cody’s shoulder was still taped up from his battle at REVOLUTION 2021. As Cody was making his way to the ring, Penta El Zero Miedo surprised him by diving over the top rope with a cannonball onto Cody! He followed up with leg kicks to Cody’s wheels and then rammed Cody face first into the steel post. They continued to brawl on the outside until Cody whipped Penta El Zero Miedo into the barricade. Penta El Zero Miedo ripped off Cody’s t-shirt and chopped at his chest. Cody fired right back, picking up Penta El Zero Miedo in a vertical suplex type maneuver and then planting him forward. Penta El Zero Miedo avoided Cody’s next move and countered with a sling blade clothesline! Cody dropped to his back and connected with the uppercut but soon Penta El Zero Miedo grabbed Cody with a backstabber. Penta El Zero Miedo covered Cody in a very egotistical fashion for a near fall on “The American Nightmare.”

Penta El Zero Miedo pulled a portion of the steel barricade on the outside and propped it up against another. Cody pursued him out on the arena floor and walloped him with a thunderous pump kick! They brawled back into the ring, where Cody took Penta El Zero Miedo to the mat from the top rope after a tremendous hurracanrana! Penta El Zero Miedo targeted Cody’s shoulder and worked it over with swift kicks. Penta El Zero Miedo turned his attention to Arn Anderson and Cody took advantage of the moment and clubbed Penta El Zero Miedo. Cody spring boarded off the middle turnbuckle with a Disaster Kick onto his opponent! Cody built up a head of steam and smashed into Penta El Zero Miedo on the outside, knocking him onto the propped up ring barricade. Back in the ring, Cody employed a Canadian Destroyer on Penta El Zero Miedo! Cody came back with the Cody Cutter but Penta El Zero Miedo narrowly kicked out of the pin attempt!

Cody blocked a kick and planted Penta El Zero Miedo with the CrossRhodes! Penta El Zero Miedo kicked out again! Cody hoisted up Penta El Zero Miedo in the backpack-type position, and dropped him on his back! Penta El Zero Miedo kicked out again! Cody slammed the outside of Penta El Zero Miedo’s knee into the steel ring post! Cody applied the figure four leglock but Penta El Zero Miedo managed to grab the bottom rope, forcing the ref break. Cody attempted to apply the figure four again but Penta El Zero Miedo countered and snapped Cody’s arm back! As Penta El Zero Miedo was showboating, Cody rolled him up for the victory!

The Score: 8 out of 10

  • The Good: These guys really packed a lot in here. Cody and Penta were a perfect match in terms if style. This was a real smack-around match where everything was punctuated by a slap or a strike. There’s plenty of meaty slams to get a hold of here as well. This really felt like a fight. Penta had that cocky stroke to him that makes him look confident. Cody did his usual thing and it worked like a charm.
  • The Bad: Nothing here was bad.
  • The Verdict: This was damn good.

Match #2: Jade Cargill def. Dani Jordyn

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Cargill blasted Dani with an explosive kick! Jade tossed Dani overhead with a release German suplex. Cargill dropped Dani down with the Jaded and quickly pinned her! After the match, Jade Cargill approached Red Velvet who was watching from ringside. Jade trash talked Red Velvet, who responded by taking a swing at Jade. They had to be separated.

The Score: 1 out of 10

  • The Good: Jade moved well.
  • The Bad: Nothing happened.
  • The Verdict: The squash I didn’t want…but it worked out fine.

Match #3: Matt Hardy, Private Party and The Butcher & The Blade def. Jurassic Express and Bear Country

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Hardy nailed Marko with a rough knee to the rib cage. Marko returned fire with a slap to “Big Money” Matt’s face! Jungle Boy got the blind tag and dropped Hardy with a shotgun missile off the top rope! The match broke down and all the competitors began to brawl! Jurassic Express and Bear Country managed to clear the ring while their opposition then watched from the outside. Bear Country picked up Marko and sent him flying like a human frisbee at Hardy, Private Party, and The Butcher and The Blade, wiping all of them out on the floor! Luchasaurus and Jungle Boy questioned Bear Boulder and Bear Bronson as to their methods. As this transpired, Marq Quen entered the ring but Boulder body slammed him, and in the process he inadvertently knocked down Jungle Boy.

Matt Hardy capitalized with the Side Effect on Jungle Boy. After kicking out of the pinning predicament, Jungle Boy found himself on the arena floor, getting stomped on by The Bunny. Back in the ring, The Blade and The Butcher worked over Jungle Boy with a gut buster! Jungle Boy finally dropped The Blade with a big clothesline and tagged in Luchasaurus! He rammed Private Party with shoulder blocks and then forced The Butcher to eat a big boot! Butcher absorbed a headbutt from Luchasaurus and then clobbered him with a lariat! Marko blindsided The Butcher with a dropkick from the high rent district! Bronson from Bear Country tagged himself in despite Luchasaurus’ intentions. Bronson grabbed Isiah Kassidy and chucked him across the ring with an exploder suplex. Marko tagged himself in but nearly got decapitated by a pump kick from Kassidy! Private Party served up the Gin & Juice on “Mr. Fun Size” Marko Stunt! Matt Hardy begged to be tagged in and Quen obliged “Big Money.” Hardy took down Marko with the Twist of Fate and scored the pin! On the outside of the ring, things were boiling over between Jurassic Express and Bear Country.

The Score: 5 out of 10

  • The Good: There’s lots of action here. Jungle Boy was an all around workhorse here. While everybody else was doing moves, Jungle Boy was wrestling. This was a good week for Jungle Boy.
  • The Bad: This was a bit of a mess.
  • The Verdict: Despite a lot stalling and some dull moments, this match did keep itself together in the right spots.

Match #4: Jon Moxley & Eddie Kingston def. The Good Brothers

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

The Good Brothers ambushed Eddie Kingston as he was making his way out of the entrance tunnel. Jon Moxley, all taped up, sprinted to the aid of Eddie! Mox brawled with The Good Brothers around the ring! Anderson mounted Kingston and attacked with the ground and pound! Gallows headbutted Moxley! The Good Brothers hit the Magic Killer on Moxley on the arena floor! Anderson tossed Kingston into the ring and the bell rang, the match officially starting. Anderson gouged the eyes of Kingston and then tagged in Gallows. The Good Brothers isolated Kingston in their corner and continued the beat down! Gallows waffled Kingston with a thunderous kick to the side of the head! Finally, using the ring apron, Jon Moxley pulled himself up, but Gallows pump kicked him back to the floor! Kingston took Gallows off his feet with a flying shoulder tackle. He followed up with a tremendous exploder suplex on Anderson! Mox finally got tagged in and wiped out Anderson with a running lariat and a release German suplex!

Moxley sent the “Machine Gun” flying into the corner with a shotgun dropkick, followed up with a clubbing blow to Gallows! Moxley hit a piledriver out of nowhere on Anderson but Gallows broke up the pin attempt. Mox cracked Gallows with a knee strike and then a tope suicida to the outside! When Mox returned to the ring, Anderson spiked him with a huge spinebuster! The Good Brothers had Moxley reeling after some dynamic tandem offense. The Good Brothers attempted the Magic Killer on Mox but Kingston connected with a chop block on Anderson! Kingston sent Gallows over the top rope and to the floor with a running clothesline. Gallows pulled out Kingston by the ankles and whipped him into the guardrail. Meanwhile, Moxley rolled up Karl Anderson and pinned him!

The Score: 5 out of 10

  • The Good: If you like solid, sturdy tag bouts, then this contest will offer you enough meat on the bone to get little nibble off of. Jon and Eddie were a fun team. The Good Brothers did their raunchy jack-ass stuff the whole time and it worked, by and large.
  • The Bad: This was really disappointing. The lack of consistent technical proficiency throughout the bout was rather disheartening. Four of the best got together and just stuck to the basics. This was a match that felt like it could be wrestled by anyone.
  • The Verdict: At the end of the match, the bout felt like a waste of both teams, because there was no passion here.

Match #5: Rey Fenix def. Angelico

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Angelico grappled Fenix to the ground. They jockeyed for leverage with wristlocks until Rey Fenix took down Angelico with an arm drag. Angelico blocked a chop from Fenix, but Fenix rolled up Angelico with a crucifix for a near fall. Angelico captured the arm of Rey Fenix and began to hammer down on Fenix’s lower back. Rey Fenix staggered Angelico with a thrust kick and then spiked him on the forehead with a cutter! Angelico kicked out in the nick of time! Angelico applied his leg submission on Rey Fenix but Fenix grabbed the rope for the ref break. Angelico and Rey Fenix traded various kicks until Fenix smashed Angelico with the crucifix bomb! Rey Fenix spiked Angelico head first onto the mat and scored the pin!

The Score: 6 out of 10

  • The Good: Hey. You get lucha and submissions at the same time. Both of these guys got right to work and made sure that when they did there was no wasted motion. Fenix slowed down a bit and it helped his performance sink in. Angelico grounded the bout in the same manner that Zach Sabre Jr. would when he first started transitioning from aerial to technical. Everything was fluid and connected. I never felt like things were just happening to happen. Both wrestlers had a certain shine around them here and it helped put a focus on what they were doing.
  • The Bad: At times, the match felt truncated. Time was not on this match’s side either. Maybe they could have cut out one of the million promos from the show and given this bout five extra minutes?
  • The Verdict: These two guys made the most of their time and teased what a bigger match between these two could do.

Match #6: (Main Event) Thunder Rosa def. Britt Baker – Unsanctioned Lights Out Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Baker and Thunder Rosa started with a stare down. And then Rebel blindsided Thunder Rosa, swinging her crutch at Thunder Rosa’s lower back! Thunder Rosa chased after Rebel and got her hands on her, but Dr. Britt Baker speared her opponent! Baker followed up with an air raid crash on the stage but Thunder Rosa kicked out. Baker smashed the chair down onto Thunder Rosa’s abdomen. Baker turned her back to talk into the TV camera, and Thunder Rosa seized the moment and swung the chair at Baker! She then rammed the chair into Rebel’s midsection! Thunder Rosa missed a flipping senton on the arena floor as Britt Baker barely dodged it. Bake tried to end the match before too much damage was suffered but Thunder Rosa kicked out of the pinning combination. Rebel helped Britt Baker pull a table out from under the ring and set it up. Baker stomped on Thunder Rosa’s head on the steel ring steps. Thunder Rosa’s forehead was busted wide open! Rebel and Baker hurled multiple steel chairs into the ring. Baker suplexed Thunder Rosa from the second turnbuckle onto the pile of steel chairs!

Rebel pushed a ladder into the ring. Thunder Rosa drove the face of Dr. Britt Baker smack into it! Thunder Rosa tried for the pin but Baker kicked out at two! AEW Women’s Champ Hikaru Shida was seen watching the match on a monitor backstage. Thunder Rosa hit a double running knee on Baker in the corner. She sandwiched Baker between the ladder and the turnbuckles and then Thunder Rosa dropkicked the ladder, ramming it into Baker’s face! Britt Baker was busted open now! Thunder Rosa bit down on Baker’s head. Baker retaliated with a thrust kick and then hit a flatliner on Thunder Rosa right onto the ladder. Baker climbed up the turnbuckles but Thunder Rosa followed her up there and then decimated her with a Death Valley Driver down onto the ladder! Thunder Rosa covered Britt Baker but Baker kicked out!

Baker DDT’ed Thunder Rosa onto the steel chair, and then she stomped Thunder Rosa’s head onto the chair. Somehow Thunder Rosa kicked out! Rebel slipped Baker the surgical glove. Rebel pulled a black bag of thumbtacks out from under the ring and handed it off to Britt Baker. Britt Baker attempted to go for the swinging neck breaker but Thunder Rosa countered. She was going to use a powerbomb but Rebel jumped into the ring with her crutch! Rebel swung the crutch at Thunder Rosa, but Thunder Rosa ducked! Thunder Rosa pulled the crutch out of Rebel’s hands and then cracked her with it! Thunder Rosa dropkicked Rebel off the ring apron and sent her crashing through the table on the floor! Baker tried for a Death Valley Driver of her own but Thunder Rosa blocked it and powerbombed Baker onto the thumbtacks! Baker kicked out at the two-count. Baker managed to grab Thunder Rosa with the lockjaw, applying it directly on the thumbtacks! Thunder Rosa rolled Baker back into the thumbtacks, forcing her to release the submission. Baker got to her feet and rocked Thunder Rosa with a thrust kick! Britt was about to powerbomb Thunder Rosa off the apron and through the table on the floor but Thunder Rosa blocked her! Thunder Rosa followed through with a Fire Thunder Driver through the table! Thunder Rosa covered Dr. Britt Baker on the outside and pinned her for the win!

The Score: 10 out of 10

  • The Good: Whoa. They beat the hell out of each other. Rosa and Britt were mean here. They took a feud that was paper thin and drawn out over nothing and gave it a match that made that feud incredible despite the lack of reason to exist. Britt wore the Crimson Mask so well that Gordon Solie himself would have gotten a chill in his spine. Rosa was the psycho she should have been. All of the usual weapons were involved, including the thumbtacks, which entered the fray at its most fraught instance. Everything was paced incredibly well.
  • The Bad: Nothing was bad.
  • The Verdict: This was an instant classic that have the women the best match in the division’s short history.

Major News:

  1. MJF’s new faction is called The Pinnacle.
  2. Lance Archer wants to fight Darby Allin and Sting.
  3. Brian Cage praised Sting to Dad’s chagrin.
  4. Scorpio Sky turned heel to become a champion at any cost.
  5. Darby Allin defends the TNT Title against John Silver, next week.
  6. Miro is finally trying to become AEW World Champion.
  7. Christian Cage wants to become AEW World Champion.
  8. The Young Bucks have abandoned Kenny Omega and The Good Brothers after the latter tried to destroy Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston.

Final Verdict: 7/10

This feels a bit generous, but the opener and closer were excellent and great respectively, with a dash of good here and there. Really, the main event was what I liked here. Congratulations to the women for delivering the match they had to.

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