03rd Mar2021

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (Mar 2nd 2021)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have a good night of action to get to, so… (falls down steps) AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Oh God! Ow! Help me! Help me Jesus! Help me lord! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Damn stairs! Help me Jesus! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Ow! Jesus Christ God! Help me Jesus! Ow! Not the face! Ow! My balls! Carlos Colon! Carlos Colon! FLPLSLSLSLSLST!!!!!! Jose Gonzalez can kiss my ass! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Ow! My balls shot up my ass! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! It’s like I’m back in high school! JEEEEEEEESSSSSUUUUUSSSSSSS!!!!!!! Dracula: Oh chit! I’m falling toooooooo!!!!!! Ow! My balls! Me: Impact starts…OWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

Before The Impact – February 23, 2021

Match #1: Johnny Swinger def Fallah Bahh

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Tonight’s exclusive match saw Johnny Swinger, alongside the Swingerellas, go one-on-one with Fallah Bahh after Swinger kicked him out of Swinger’s Palace! At the conclusion of a back-and-forth contest, Swinger bent the rules by putting his feet on the ropes in order to steal the victory.

The Score: 3 out of 10

The Good: Bahh sold well for ol’ Swinger, who has bitch-tits daddy!
The Bad: The Swing-Man didn’t look too good daddy!
The Verdict: Blow me, daddio! This was the gits, sweetie-pie!

Before The Impact – March 2, 2021

Match #1: James Storm def Rohit Raju

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Tonight’s exclusive match saw James Storm go one-on-one with Rohit Raju after he made the “Cowboy” spill his beer. An altercation in Swinger’s Palace later and the bout was made official for BTI! Where Rohit Raju goes, so does the vicious Shera. After his involvement in the match, things were looking good for the “Desi Hitman” but only until Chris Sabin evened the odds. Storm would go on to make Rohit pay with a powerful Last Call superkick for the win. However, it was Shera who would get the last laugh after he took out Sabin and Storm with a brutal post-match attack.

The Score: 5 out of 10

The Good: Storm and Raju worked well together and had a nice nimble bout.
The Bad: This coulda gone on longer. That’s for sure.
The Verdict: While brief, this was quality wrestling that tapered off at the end, but that’s not the end of the world.

Impact Wrestling – March 2, 2021

Match #1: Ace Austin w/ Madman Fulton def Chris Bey & Black Taurus – #1 Contenders Match for the X-Division Title

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

After teaming up to win a six-man tag last week, Black Taurus, Ace Austin and Chris Bey will now compete against each other in a Triple Threat to determine the next challenger for TJP’s X-Division Title. Taurus sends Bey crashing into Ace with a powerslam. Ace and Bey work together to take out Taurus with in-sync dives to the floor. Bey hits Taurus with a slingshot DDT for two. Ace dropkicks Bey into a vertical suplex from Taurus! The power advantage of Taurus is evident when he connects with a pop-up Samoan Drop on Bey. Fulton trips up Bey from the outside, allowing Ace to capitalize with The Fold to win.

The Score: 7 out of 10

The Good:

  • There’s a lot of good stuff between these three. Taurus kicked ass and Ace/Bey was fantastic. They’ve got to put Ace and Bey on PPV at some point, just for the hell of it.

The Bad:

  • It was a bit cumbersome at certain points, but not for a lack of trying either.

The Verdict:

  • Not bad for an opener or for a Triple Threat.

Match #2: Tenille Dashwood w/ Kaleb With a K def Havok

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

This match was made earlier tonight on BTI which you can watch every Tuesday at 7/6c on AXS TV. Havok has had somewhat of a falling out with her long-time friend and tag team partner, Nevaeh. As a result, Nevaeh does not accompany Havok to ringside for this match. Tenille connects with Taste of Tenille in the corner for an early two count. Havok hits a big boot, followed by a modified backbreaker to build momentum. Kaleb provides a distraction by getting up on the apron. Tenille capitalizes with the Spotlight Kick to score the victory.

The Score: 5 out of 10

The Good:

  • This was solid in the action department. Both women made smart decisions and kept the match together from bell to bell.

The Bad:

  • This was very slow.

The Verdict:

  • This was okay.

Match #3: The Good Brothers & FinJuice def XXXL & Reno Scum

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Will FinJuice and The Good Brothers be able to put their differences aside and focus on the task at hand that is the daunting force of XXXL and Reno Scum? In the early going, they try to one-up each other and it ends up costing them as Finlay gets pummeled in the corner. Finlay creates separation with a back suplex, allowing him to make the tag to Gallows. The big man goes on the attack as he takes out everyone with a flurry of strikes! The Good Brothers hit the Magic Killer on Thornstowe to score the victory.

The Score: 2 out of 10

The Good:

  • The Good…The Good Brothers! Ha! There’s some decent wrestling in the first minute.

The Bad:

  • This fell apart the more it became a story match.

The Verdict:

  • If you’re gonna have eight people fight, let them go more than just a few minutes.

Match #4: Eddie Edwards def Brian Myers by Disqualification w/ Matt Cardona as Special Referee

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Eddie takes control in the early going with a belly-to-belly suplex, sending Myers to the outside. Eddie follows up with a huge dive to the floor! Eddie hits a Blue Thunder Bomb for two as Cardona continues to call the match right down the middle. Myers turns the tide with a Flatliner. Moments later, Eddie is back in control when he hits a Backpack Stunner. Myers loads up his elbow pad before striking Eddie with the Roster Cut! Cardona catches him in the act and calls for the disqualification.

The Score: 5 out of 10

The Good:

  • Eddie and Brian worked well together to make a stocky fight. Stocky!

The Bad:

  • The DQ cut into the fun and the match was only so much up until that point any-way.

The Verdict:

  • Eddie and Brian work well together, but Don and Scott need to let these guys really hit their stride if they want this feud to continue.

Match #5: (Main Event) Deonna Purrazzo def Jordynne Grace & Kiera Hogan

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

As soon as the bell rings, Jordynne and Kiera double team Deonna and toss her to the outside. Deonna tries to end things early when she locks in the Fujiwara Armbar on Kiera, only to have it quickly broken up. Jordynne rolls through with a thunderous German suplex to Kiera! Jordynne hits Deonna with a Spinebuster and it’s a stalemate between all three Knockouts. Kimber Lee, Susan, Tasha Steelz and Jazz get involved in a brawl on the floor. Jordynne takes them all out with a high-risk dive to the outside! Tasha pulls Kiera out of the ring, helping her avoid a splash from Jordynne. Deonna quickly rolls up Jordynne for the three count.

The Score: 7 out of 10

The Good:

  • These three really got going right from the get go. There was no fluff or stuff in here. If you want action, then this match provided it in spades.

The Bad:

  • Longer, maybe? More wrestling? I don’t know.

The Verdict:

  • For a Triple Threat, this was damn good.

Major News:

  1. ODB is going after Deonna Purrazzo’s Knockouts Title.
  2. The Rich Swann/Moose Impact World Title fight is actually a Unified Title Match that also includes Moose’s TNA World Title.

Final Verdict: 6/10

The beginning and the end really turned out well and the middle was not bad either. Impact still needs some finesse, but at least it’s becoming a solid cut of meat again.

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