13th Jan2021

WWE Raw – Jan 11th 2021: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Monday Night Raw, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have…okay, Alexa Bliss shoots a fuggin fire-ball at Randy Orton. It’s fuggin stupid. I can’t say f—….f—– bull-s—. Do they just not want us to watch this? Michael Jackson is like a library book, except he was checked out black and returned white. JAMAON! Drew McIntyre isn’t here, because he’s got the COVID! Who gave it to him? Was it you? You did! You bastard! Now we have to deal with Triple H. S—! Also, this show has a million matches. What is this, AEW Dark?! Paul Hollywood can go suck a big f—— dick and this episode of Monday Night Raw starts…JAMAON!

Match #1: Lacey Evans def. Charlotte Flair

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The Queen came into the match infuriated by the “classless” actions of The Sassy Southern Belle, as Lacey Evans played mind games with her wooing of Ric Flair last week at Raw Legends Night. Charlotte Flair targeted Evans from the opening bell, but the entrance of her WWE Hall of Famer father forced her to keep one eye outside the ring throughout. A Natural Selection from the Women’s Tag Team Champion appeared to have victory assured, but Ric placed Evans’ foot on the rope to break the count. Once the action picked up again, The Dirtiest Player in the Game tripped up his daughter just as he did last week, which provided Evans the opportunity to pounce for the win.

My Opinion: 3 out of 5

Match #2: Jaxson Ryker def. Jeff Hardy, Jeff Hardy def. Elias

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Due to a temporarily debilitating thumb injury, Elias was originally unable to compete against Jeff Hardy, but Jaxson Ryker filled in to show his loyalty to “The Universal Truth.” The blisters weren’t enough to keep Elias from interfering in the match, as his distraction allowed Ryker to swoop in for a devastatingly quick roll-up with a bit of extra leverage for the win.

My Opinion: 1.1 out of 5

Match #3: Jeff Hardy def. Elias

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After the conclusion, Hardy called out Elias, and the originally intended showdown was back on. The musician played his way into some early offense, but a signature Swanton Bomb from The Charismatic Enigma put the finishing note on Hardy’s triumph.

My Opinion: 0.2 out of 5

Match #4: Keith Lee & Sheamus def. The Miz & John Morrison

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The Miz & John Morrison have been flying high since Mr. Money in the Bank had his contract returned, but picking a fight with the colossal tandem of Keith Lee & Sheamus may have been a little more than just ill-advised. Lee flexed his muscle early by smashing Morrison so furiously into the corner that the turnbuckle exploded to the delight of the powerhouse. There was still more punishment in store for The Guru of Greatness, as Sheamus delivered a Brogue Kick to Morrison to clinch the victory.

My Opinion: 3.2 out of 5

Match #5: Keith Lee def. Sheamus

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The honeymoon phase didn’t last long for the pairing of Keith Lee and Sheamus, as the two behemoths began brawling after their win. The two traded haymakers, as The Celtic Warrior went to work on the left arm of his opponent. Lee gritted through the pain to author one more amazing feat of strength with a Spirit Bomb of Sheamus to give himself the last laugh. Lee offered a fist bump after the bell, and Sheamus instead embraced his fellow colossal competitor.

My Opinion: 3.2 out of 5

Match #6: T-BAR def. Xavier Woods

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Xavier Woods was riding solo in his latest showdown with RETRIBUTION’s T-BAR. The New Day bandleader fought valiantly as a dropkick off the top rope sent T-BAR flying out of the ring. The rest of RETRIBUTION stepped in to create a distraction that allowed T-BAR to crush Woods with a crushing knee to set up the pin.

My Opinion: 1.4 out of 5

Match #7: Bobby Lashley def. Riddle – United States Championship Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Controversy surrounded Riddle’s victory over Bobby Lashley last week, and the United States Champion was intent on leaving no doubt this time. The All Mighty went on the offensive before the opening bell, and when the moment arose for a Hurt Lock, Lashley locked in and forced the clear tapout for the win.

My Opinion: 2.1 out of 5

Match #8: Riddle def. MVP by disqualification

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

With the poor taste of defeat in his mouth, Riddle called out MVP and looked to salvage something out of his night. As it turned out, Lashley was the one who was far from finished with his plans for the night. As Riddle battled with the leader of The Hurt Business, the United States Champion landed a crushing Spear, and the beatdown of Riddle began.

My Opinion: 1.2 out of 5

Match #9: AJ Styles def. Drew Gulak

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Drew Gulak was eager to take a spot in the Royal Rumble, but Adam Pearce wanted the up-and-comer to earn it. Gulak would have to topple AJ Styles to secure a place in the field of 30 competitors, and The Phenomenal One brought his own reinforcements. With Gulak close to a breakthrough, Omos insured the safety of his associate, and Styles landed a Phenomenal Forearm to keep his opponent’s Royal Rumble dreams dormant.

My Opinion: 2.3 out of 5

Match #10: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler def. Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Before the match, Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke declared for the Royal Rumble, but Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler presented the most immediate roadblock for the tandem. The two teams were set on stating their cases as the top contenders to the WWE Women’s Tag Team Titles. With Jax seemingly set up to finish off Rose, Baszler tagged herself in to dish out a Kirifuda Clutch to force the tapout. The individual talents of Jax & Baszler won out again, but the relationship remains as tenuous beneath the surface as ever.

My Opinion: 0.8 out of 5

Match #11: (Main Event) Triple H vs. Randy Orton – Unsanctioned Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The Game rolled through Raw looking to put a stop to Randy Orton’s endless reign of terror for the iconic Superstars of WWE. The Viper pushed Triple H’s buttons at the beginning of the night and coaxed The King of Kings into a fight. The two former Evolution stablemates traded blows until Triple H grabbed his trademark sledgehammer and prepared to level The Legend Killer. Just as Triple H entered the ring, the lights went out, and the sounds of The Firefly Fun House filled the WWE ThunderDome. Alexa Bliss appeared in the ring and shockingly unleashed a fireball to the face of the sadistic Orton, who screamed in agony as Raw concluded.

My Opinion: 1.9 out of 5

Final Verdict: 0/5

Sh*t. The whole thing, even when it was good, was sh*t. Keith Lee and Sheamus were the best part of the show…but still s—. Alexa Bliss threw a fire-ball at Randy Orton (not old school style either). Triple H cut a great promo and was very likeable here. Randy still acts like he had a stroke or has a LifeAlert bracelet that won’t work. Xavier Woods is supposed to be a face, but is too annoying to even be a heel. Why does Donovan Dijak have to keep parading around as T-SHIRT?! I’m not wearing a T-SHIRT! I’m in my sex dungeon. Whip harder! This entire show was an exercise in a match looking good on paper, but getting stopped before it could get going. Riddle is a dip-s— and that’s his whole gimmick unless he loses…then he gets serious. Who writes this s—? There were eleven matches on this show, but they took up about just thirty minutes of a three hour show. Blow me. Drew McIntyre and Goldberg will fight at Royal Rumble. I could go either way on that match. The women had a lame night, thanks to a short match for one and a longer match marred by the worst use of Ric Flair in years…again. The main event was a fun brawl until Vince got horned-up on Alexa Bliss shooting a 1980s music video fire-ball at Randy Orton’s eyes. We Didn’t Start The Fire…but Billy Joel is an a-ass-hole-o-o! I wanted to say good things about this, but it just wasn’t much more than a commercial for a show that was never gonna be available for order. In any case, the roster tried and they get all the credit in the world, but the booking does not.

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