29th Dec2020

Friday Night SmackDown – Dec 25th 2020: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Friday Night SmackDown review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have a Christmas edition of SmackDown. I’m so…what the… Santa Claus: I am Santa Claus! Get ready to die! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nathan: Uh oh…here we go again. SmackDown starts… Santa Claus: Pucker-up and suck it, Whoville! Nathan: Oh Jesus… Jesus: Oh no! Leave me out of this s—! It’s my birthday! Nathan: Actually, you were supposedly born earlier in the ye… Jesus: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I’M NOT LISTENING! LALALALALALALALA!!!

Match #1: Roman Reigns def. Kevin Owens – Universal Championship Steel Cage Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

In the wake of their Tables, Ladders & Chairs Match at WWE TLC, Roman Reigns and Kevin Owens went to war in a Universal Championship Steel Cage showdown that kicked off SmackDown. A determined Reigns unleashed a steady assault that punished his adversary with the precision of a terminator. But no matter what Reigns threw at his opponent, Owens refusing to stay down, outfighting and nearly dethroning The Big Dog several times with an explosive attack. In the final moments, KO hit a Stunner on Reigns and moved to escape the cage. But, Jey Uso was there to stop him, handcuffing Owens to the steel rungs and keeping him inches from a title victory. This allowed Reigns to move over his restrained foe with a smile and walk out the door to defeat KO in a Universal Championship Steel Cage Match for the ages.

My Opinion: 4.2 out of 5 – This was a big match to have in the opener and it delivered a spectacle the likes of which was necessary. Reigns and Owens didn’t go for the intricate grappling that many Cage matches have had in the past, but this was cut-throat brutality at its ouchiest. Ouchiest is a word if I say it is! Let me have this! It’s Christmas, mother-f—–! KO and Reigns blasted each other with enough big slams and strikes to make you look like a pot-marked teen playing Peeping Tom with his cousin Gabby’s num-nums. KO did plenty to look like he could muscle his way to the strap, Reigns was equally believable in his role as well. So much of this was a matter of piling it on, rather than escalation, but the action was always climbing the rung towards the most violent attack possible, so it wasn’t just endless mayhem. I fondled myself watching this, so I think I may have a bias for it. Anyway, I thought this was a damn good prize fight.

Match #2: Charlotte Flair & Asuka def. Bayley & Carmella and Sasha Banks & Bianca Belair – WWE Women’s Tag Team Title Triple Threat Elimination Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Five days after Charlotte Flair made a surprise return at WWE TLC to help Raw Women’s Champion Asuka capture the WWE Women’s Tag Team Titles, The Queen and The Empress of Tomorrow defended against Sasha Banks & Bianca Belair and Bayley & Carmella in a Tag Team Title Triple Threat Elimination Match. In the title bout, each team would be eliminated when either member of the team was pinned or submitted. The first elimination occurred when Bianca hit a wicked spinebuster that nearly drove Bayley through the canvas, setting up The Boss to finish off her former best friend with the frog splash off the top rope for the pin. Nevertheless, Bayley, Carmella and her sommelier Reginald refused to leave ringside, and they disrupted the action long enough to pave the way for The Queen and The Empress to reign supreme over The Boss and The EST of WWE after Flair dropped Belair with Natural Selection.

My Opinion: 3.8 out of 5 – This was an excellent match that had a lot of heft to it…not in the hips! I didn’t say that! Shut up! Anyway, this was right on from the start, with the champions putting on a strong display of tag skills, despite not being a team for very long. Really, all three of these teams had a surprising amount of chemistry together despite never having worked together before in this capacity. The action was very quick to the draw and with no breaks for any side-trips (selling a move that barely happened…Finger Poke Of Doom). Bianca and Charlotte had a fine exchange at one point that made them both look more interesting than they have in recent memory. Bayley did her thing and looked tough as a taco. YO QUIERO, TACO BELL! These may have been thrown together teams, but it was a match where three essentially random teams wrestled a prize fight that was worth watching.

Match #3: Daniel Bryan def. Jey Uso

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Prior to his match against Jey Uso, Daniel Bryan was viciously assaulted by the unhinged Samoan during his ring entrance. Nevertheless, Bryan heroically insisted on continuing. In a particularly heated moment of the incredibly intense contest that followed, Bryan hurled Uso over the top rope, causing his opponent to damage his left leg. Still, the brutal battle raged on, but Uso went to the well once too often. After ducking out of the way of the Superkick, Bryan hit the Running Knee to score the three-out.

My Opinion: 4 out of 5 – Your mileage may vary here, but I, like, totally uber totes loved this! CHA! Oh my Gawd! I…no…not again! I won’t become a…Valley Girl! Valley Girl! Valley Girl! She’s a Valley Girl! Kickin’ ass! For sure! For sure! Coke-head lines and there ain’t no cure! O…I mu…must…stop…this…chick…anery! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Mr. Tooth: I am Mr. Tooth. Mr. Nathan is incapacitated at this time, so I shall finish the review proper. Bree-an and U-so were like ducks upon water here, always Amanda Bynesing from one move to another. You see, I can also make the strange comments about people. From the start of this m…atch, we had the Bree-an pressing the might of his skills upon U-so, who was aggressive from the start. This…who are thee? Klingon: PUKCHA NAKTA MO VAIDAKA YNGOS SKAAAAAAA! Mr. Tooth: You are stupid. The wrestling was exciting from the first bell and it never stopped being exciting. You will not receive the most precise technical contest, but the match will provide unto you the most thrilling spectacle under the sun. Marvelous…simply marvelous. Klingon: KACHGO MIGA VON DAIKOS BODAKODA VORTALKA! Mr. Tooth: Yes, this match was filled with a tremendous amount of exciting action. You shall watch this match…imminently.

Match #4: (Main Event) Big E def. Sami Zayn – Intercontinental Championship Lumberjack Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After pinning Sami Zayn in an Eight-Man Tag Team Match as part of the WWE TLC Kickoff, Big E earned the right to challenge The Master Strategist in an Intercontinental Championship Lumberjack Match in the main event of Friday Night SmackDown – with Superstars surrounding all four sides of the ring in order to keep the competitors in the squared circle throughout the matchup. Order broke down among the lumberjacks long enough for Zayn to head for the hills, but before he did, the lumberjacks tackled him to the ground and threw him back in the ring. There, “The Powerhouse of Positivity” was waiting for him. After executing the belly-to-belly and a devastating splash, Big E hit the Big Ending to recapture the Intercontinental Title!

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – Godzilla: EIIIIIIIIN! (I am reviewing this final match. I am a giant lizard.) EIIIIIN! (Big E and Sami had a slow start, but it didn’t affect the energy of the bout.) EIIIIN! (The Lumberjacks provided an interesting dynamic here, as they actually played a part in keeping the match going, instead of just brawling with both participants the whole time.) EIIIIIIIIIIIN! (The second half of this match is when it got exciting; especially when E started to go after Sami’s every move.) EIIIIIIIIN! (E won the strap and it was well-deserved and not simply because the match was good, but because E just felt like the right winner.)

News Of The Night:

  1. Daniel Bryan has entered the Royal Rumble match.

Final Verdict: 5 /5

Okay. I’m back. The Valley Girl thing ran its course. I’m still, like, totally ready to kiss Chad, but I’m otherwise fine and dandy…for sure. I know that we’ve had some NXT Takeovers that had a better match average then this show, but I had a blast with this one, so much that I just thought it was great. There was very little fat to be trimmed and the focus was on the matches themselves. Wrestling wise, this show was excellent, but the real joy was in every match being the focal point, as opposed to just existing to tell stories. The matches meant some-thing and felt important in ways that make next week’s card feel all the more to anticipate. I’d say this was a Christmas miracle.


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