09th Dec2020

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (Dec 8th 2020)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and the events of last week’s All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite have led to Kenny Omega appearing on this card as the AEW World Champion. Meanwhile, I shot the sheriff…and that f—— deputy! I’m curious to see how many people watch this on an actual television channel, considering that there is so much momentum and intrigue from the cross-over already. Also, Boba Fett finally beat the s— out people after 42 years of waiting and it was f—— cool! Live long and suck it! Impact starts…BANZAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!

Match #1: Chris Sabin w/ Alex Shelley def Josh Alexander w/ Ethan Page

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

The Motor City Machine Guns’ path to the Tag Team Championships continues as Chris Sabin looks to exact revenge on the man who injured Alex Shelley, Walking Weapon Josh Alexander! Sabin builds momentum with a Dragon Screw leg whip, then dives through the ropes and collides with Alexander on the ramp. Sabin hits a top rope crossbody for two. Alexander counters a Hurricanrana into a modified powerbomb backbreaker! Sabin connects with a missile dropkick, followed by a Shining Wizard but Alexander comes right back with a ripcord elbow. Page is calling the shots from ringside as he instructs Alexander to drop Sabin on his head. Sabin capitalizes off the distraction and rolls up Alexander for three!

My Opinion: 3.6 out of 5 – This was an excellent match that had no filler and was nothing but fun. Sabin and Alexander went hold for hold and lock for lock in a tense contest that really kicked ass. Two contrasting styles, one X and the other grappler, made for a unique yet sensible bout that never strayed from any-thing tasteful. Did you know that Gretchen Mol spelled backwards is Lom Nehcterg? Did you know that I didn’t watch this match? I just copied off of the review from 411mania (thanks Jeremy). Let’s see…what else did he write? Jeremy’s Article: Halloween 2 is better than Halloween. Nathan: Jeremy! Shame on you! I’ll never copy off of a prick like this again! Back in the real world, Sabin met Alexander’s technical mastery with the sudden bursts of action that have made him a hallmark of both the X-Division and of TNA/Impact as a whole. Hey Hamlin! I like your PJs! You what else Hamlin? I liked this match. For nine minutes, these guys went for the gusto and got it in spades. Okay, that’s enough of this. I still didn’t watch any of this. I don’t even know who Chris Sabin is. Is that one of those The Baby-Sitter Club folks? I don’t care. Just because I watch this every week and care very deeply about the whole thing and tried to buy this at one point, doesn’t mean I’ve ever heard of or watch this.

Match #2: Brian Myers def TJP

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

As Brian Myers continues to disrespect his peers in the IMPACT Wrestling locker room, TJP looks to teach him a lesson! TJP takes Myers to the outside with a head scissors, then follows up with a springboard dropkick. TJP is perched on the top when Myers sends him toppling to the floor. In a split-second, TJP turns the tide with a suplex trifecta. Myers avoids the Mamba Splash, then hits the jumping Flatliner for two. TJP locks in the kneebar but Myers throws the referee into TJP to break the hold! Myers hit a Spinebuster, followed by his signature clothesline to win.

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was real solid, like gold-dipped feet. Myers worked hard to keep-up with the more proficient TJP, who has really begun to show a great deal of personality to match his incredible wrestling skills. I wanted this to go longer, but it went long enough to feel like it mattered. You get sound ground work and sudden shifts in the action just when they needed to be there. I love TJPs MMA-infused offense. There needs to be more of that kinda thing in pro wrestling. Okay. I’ve had enough of this. TJP won and yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda. Hell, I didn’t even watch this. Who watches wrestling? Wrestling sucks. I don’t watch wrestling. This match was very enjoyable.

Match #3: Eric Young w/ Joe Doering def Cody Deaner w/ Cousin Jake

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Cody is on fire from the opening bell, taking the fight to Eric Young! Cody whips him into the corner but Young sidesteps, sending Cody crashing into the steel ring post. Young takes control as he chokes Cody right in front of his Cousin Jake! Young connects with a Death Valley Driver for two. Cody begins to build momentum with a powerslam before heading to the top. Doering steps towards the ring, causing Jake to do the same. Cody hesitates and reminds Jake not to get involved. Cody attempts a top rope headbutt but the extra time allows Young to avoid it! Young hits the Piledriver to score the victory.

My Opinion: 2.1 out of 5 – Young squashed a very good Cody in a squash that…you get it.

Match #4: Taya Valkyrie & Rosemary def Knockouts Champion Deonna Purrazzo & Kimber Lee – Knockouts Tag Team Title Tournament

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

It’s time for the final first round match in the Knockouts Tag Team Title Tournament! The winners of this match will face off against Kiera Hogan and Tasha Steelz in the Semi-Finals. The moment the bell rings, Purrazzo attempts the Fujiwara Armbar on Rosemary but the Demon Assassin fights it off. Purrazzo and Lee cut off the ring as they wear down Taya in their corner. Taya and Lee take each other out with in-sync elbows and make the tag to their partners. The pace quickens as Rosemary hits Purrazzo with the Slingblade! Lee connects with a jumping neckbreaker on Rosemary before knocking Taya off the apron. Rosemary sits up, striking fear into her opponents and Taya takes advantage with a double clothesline! Purrazzo inadvertently kicks her own partner. Rosemary follows up with a double underhook slam to Kimber Lee and that’s it!

My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – This was alright. Purrazzo was the best thing here, with her technical prowess on display from start to finish. There was nothing stopping this from being adequately enjoyable and that was the case here. The action ramped-up a bit from about a couple minutes after the first bell, but not much after that. I wanted this to be…more, I guess. Make no mistake about this being a good viewing, because it was. Lee took the fall and that seems right to me. All in all, the right team won and the losing team still looks good in failure.

Match #5: (Main Event) Chris Bey & Moose def World Champion Rich Swann & Willie Mack

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

This Saturday at Final Resolution, Chris Bey challenges Rich Swann for the IMPACT World Title! Who will gain momentum heading into the huge championship collision? Moose is calling the shots in the early going as he forcefully powerbombs Bey on top of Willie! Bey and Moose wear down Willie, preventing him from making the tag to Swann. Moose takes his eye off Willie and talks trash to Swann. Willie capitalizes with back-to-back Stunners, allowing him to tag in the champ! Swann picks Bey off the top with a Hurricanrana as he collides with Moose. Willie crashes and burns with the Six Star Frog Splash. Moose takes him out with a thunderous Lights Out spear! Moose pummels Willie with closed fists before Swann fights him off to the outside. Bey crawls to the pin and scores the victory over Willie Mack!

My Opinion: 3.6 out of 5 – This was very simple tag action that was made great by these four fighters pure exuberance. Rich and Mack make for a fabulous team that can withstand a loss to a makeshift team like Bey and Moose. Moose was a mean fella here and he really stomped and crushed his opponents like Play-Doh. Bey continues to impress and he did that here by keeping-up with Rich and Mack. I had a fine time with this, but then again, I enjoy most anything…unless it sucks, which this did not.

News Of The Night:

  1. AEW President Tony Khan invited IMPACT Executive Vice President Don Callis, alongside new AEW World Champion Kenny Omega, to make another appearance on All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite, which capped off an annoying promo filled with insider references and Tony Khan doing his lamest Vince McMahon/Herb Abrams/Dixie Carter next to Tony Schiavone amidst an 80s wrestling back-stage back-drop.
  2. Larry D challenged Tommy Dreamer to a match this Saturday at Final Resolution for Larry D’s freedom from being charged for attempted murder.
  3. Deonna Purrazzo defends the Impact Knockout’s Title against Rosemary at Final Resolution.
  4. Eddie and Alisha Edwards brawled with Sami Callihan and promised to go after Tenille Dashwood and Kaleb With A K for being jack-asses.
  5. Kenny Omega revealed he intends to go after the Impact World Title.

Final Verdict: 3.7/5

The wrestling was excellent here and with less goofy promos, the action shined brightly. Having the AEW boost in here really livened-up the joint, so I hope this gets some strong ratings so it can continue.

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