27th Nov2020

‘AEW: Dynamite’ Review (Nov 25th 2020)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and this review will be un-like any other, because I have been called…to war. The American North and South have come to odds over the greatest conflict of our time: White Castle versus Krystal’s. I have betrayed my people in the North, because Krystal’s is superior and I will fight to make that the law of the land. I shall write this review of Dynamite from the battlefield with the help of TalkTech, so I may rage into glorious combat! In the name of Krystal’s, the final battle of The Second American Civil War has begun, as has this review of AEW: Dynamite! CHARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGE!!!!!!!!!

Match #1: Adam Page def. John Silver

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Silver offered a fist bump to “Hangman” Page before the match began, but Page declined. “John Silver has become somewhat of a sensation on the Internet. I think he’s demented to be honest with you,” noted Tony Schiavone. Page knocked Silver down with a shoulder block. Page bounced off the ropes and Silver tried to leapfrog over him, but Page caught him with a scoop slam. Silver battled back, connecting with a dropkick to Page. Silver flexed and posed in Page’s face, showing off his guns. As he was smiling and pointed at Page’s arms, Page hit Silver with a right hand shot. Page followed up with hard knife edge chops. “The thing that I love about ‘Hangman’ Page’s game, when he’s on his game, his strikes are as lethal as anybody’s here in AEW,” said Jim Ross. Silver reversed Page in the corner and dished out some chops of his own, but Page got the better of the exchange. Page sent flying Silver high up into the air with a back body drop! “His buddies call Silver the ‘meat-man’ and the meat-man’ went flying!” said Jim Ross. “Looks like Adam is having a good time,” replied Schiavone. “Yeah, first time he came out here without a beverage,” said Jim Ross. Page jumped to a turnbuckle but Silver sent him flying with a quick thrust kick. Silver flew off the top rope with a tremendous crossbody block on Page for a one-count. “Silver is a very difficult man to prepare for because of his lower center of gravity, he’s often firing up at his opponents,” noted Excalibur. Silver used roundhouse kicks on a downed Page. “Hangman” got to his feet and answered Silver with a resounding chop! Silver countered with a back elbow, dropping Page. Silver got behind Page with a snap German suplex for a near fall! Page bought some time with a clothesline that sent Silver to the arena floor. “That’s a move that Silver should have had better scouted,” said Jim Ross. “Hangman’s explosivity is hard to prepare for,” replied Excalibur. Page dropped with a sliding lariat onto Silver for a two-count before Silver kicked out. Silver tried to jump off the turnbuckle with a cross-body but Page caught him and countered with a Samoan drop. Page followed up with a running shooting star press. Silver kicked out at two! “Very resilient, is John Silver. Whenever you see a faction, you’re always looking for someone who is going to break out. I think John Silver has done a pretty damn good job of that here in 2020,” said Jim Ross. Hangman attempted the buckshot lariat but Silver countered with a hurracanrana for a near fall on Page! He followed up with kicks and a suplex on Page! Silver blasted Page with a brainbuster, but Page kicked out at the two-count! Silver blistered Page with stiff kicks, but Page smiled and absorbed them. Silver cracked Page right under the jaw but Page used a lariat to turn Silver inside out! Page Liger-bombed Silver but Silver kicked out! Silver was slow to rise and Page waited and when the time was just right he nailed him with the buckshot lariat for the victory! “Page has just beaten the meat-man,” said Jim Ross. “This is an important first step for Adam Page as he rebuilds,” said Excalibur.

My Opinion: 3.9 out of 5 – This was dynamite (HA!) way to start the card. Adam and John got right to the point and knocked the Ana Gasteyer out of each other. I ride a bicycle, mutha-f—a! Un-like K-PAX, this match was wonderful to watch, because it didn’t have filthy, disgusting, White Castle burgers sliding up and down my ass! John reached great heights in this match, showing more in the ring and in his character than we now show against our enemy! Fire onion slices into the first battalion! Third fleet! Take the left flank and spray them with the ketchup cannon! Press on lads! We’ve got a war to win! As my troops advance on our White Castle foe, I recall the lengths that Adam made to compete at the frenetic pace that John is accustomed to. I remember how Adam was like water when he moved and a tsunami no less! I remember how John would sell for Adam, but never at his own expense. This was a match that was even in its execution and precise to the last second, just as our offense against the North shall be! On to greatness, to glory and this match was excellennnnnnnnnnnnnnnt!!!!!!!!!!

Match #2: Powerhouse Hobbs (with Taz) def. Lee Johnson

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Taz joined the broadcast team for this match. Hobbs clobbered Lee, muscling him right down to the mat in short order! Hobbs sprinted on the outside of the ring and delivered a running lariat to Lee! Hobbs grabbed Lee by the skull and flung him into the steel barricade. Hobbs lifted Lee and then squashed him right down, earning a decisive victory over Lee! “Hobbs is a blue chip recruit if there ever was one,” said Jim Ross. “Powerhouse Hobbs making an example of the Nightmare Family’s Lee Johnson here tonight,” remarked Excalibur.

My Opinion: 2 out of 5 – This match was a squash, like we will squash our enemy in the cold, wet ground beneath our feet! March!

Match #3: The Hybrid2—Jack Evans & Angelico def. Top Flight—“Air Wolf” Darius Martin & “Angel Dorado” Dante Martin

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Angelico grappled Darius to the mat. Darius cartwheeled away as a counter. After some impressive chain wrestling, Darius used two consecutive arm drags to get the advantage on Angelico. Dante tagged in and Top Flight executed smooth tandem offense on TH2. Dante hooked Angelico deep for a two-count. “I like their strategy. Try to get the win quickly,” said Schiavone. Angelico dodged a high dropkick attempt from Dante and then took him down with a swift kick! Jack Evans tagged in and TH2 employed some tandem offense of their own. Evans was driving knees to Dante’s face and then grabbed a handful of hair to send Dante to the canvas. Dante managed to tag Dante, who hit Evans with a big boot and then an explosive uppercut. Dante followed up with a shotgun dropkick as Evans was reeling. Top Flight used smart tags in and out, ending with Jack Evans being set up in a powerbomb and a pinning attempt by Dante Martin. Angelico was there to make the save for his team. “That was a veteran move by Angelico, who has been competing for 13 years,” noted Jim Ross. Evans was kicked to the outside of the ring by Top Flight. Evans crashed into the arms of Angelico. Top Flight recognized the opportunity they had and went after TH2 with a tope suicida and tope con hiro! Dante hit a giant frog splash on Evans, but Evans was able to kick out! “They gotta be a little more firm on their covers, that’s all,” said Jim Ross of Top Flight. Evans hit a back elbow on Dante and tagged in Angelico. TH2 used combination offense but Dante kicked out of it! Dante managed to connect with a Code Red but Evans pulled Angelico out from the pin. Evans pulled down Dante’s head on the ropes in a guillotine like maneuver and then Angelico kicked Dante’s legs out from under him. Angelico applied a leg lock on Dante, forcing him to tap out!

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – There was plenty of fast, furious action here, just as there is on this field of battle! Fifth Legion! Take it to them! Pickle launchers! Now! Again! Forever! Forever…that’s what I bet many of you fine readers will thinks when you see this match. If you can stand to see four fighters fly around the ring like our mustard acid when it is flung from the flicket whip! Burn through them, like these two teams burned through more moves than may even exist! Head those White Castlers off at the ridge and rain down upon them the furious anger of our hot cola-zooka! Death! Death to the enemy! The right team won this energetic clash of exciting styles, just as we will win this war!

Match #4: Chris Jericho & Jake Hager def. Christopher Daniels & Frankie Kazarian

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

The Inner Circle walked out with Jericho and Hager and this included new members MJF and Wardlow. The Inner Circle seemed a little worse for the wear after their Vegas trip last week—like they’d binged on too much cereal at midnight. Jericho and Daniels locked up for the first time ever in their careers! Daniels used an arm drag to take down Jericho. Daniels was leveled by a shoulder tackle from Jericho. Daniels managed to isolate Jericho in SCU’s corner and they ping-ponged him back and forth with stiff shots to the head. Frankie tagged in and stomped on Jericho’s spine! Hager tagged in and battered Frankie with shots to the ribs! Hager rammed Frankie into the corner turnbuckles, and when the ref was distracted, Jericho worked over Frankie. Daniels managed to tag in and took Hager off his feet with a clothesline! Daniels ran into the ropes but Santana swept at his ankle, tripping up Daniels. Hager was there to grab Daniels with a modified powerslam! Jericho tagged in and shut Daniels right back down with a running lariat. Jericho tore off Daniels’ shirt and hit him with knife edge chops. Jericho suplex Daniels and then flexed. He followed up with a lionsault but Daniels moved out of the way! Jericho grabbed Daniels by the ankle and pulled him to the Inner Circle’s corner. He and Hager worked over Daniels with punches to the rib. Daniels managed to break away and get the hot tag to Frankie, who cleaned house on Jericho and Hager! Frankie knocked Jericho loopy with a high forearm! He dropped a leg across Hager, blocking his attempt to interfere. “The ever underrated Frankie Kazarian showing why he is really an outstanding, great wrestler,” said Jim Ross. Kazarian took some of the fight to the Inner Circle on the outside after they tried to get involved in the match. When Kazarian returned to the ring, Jericho was waiting for him. “He allowed Jericho precious moments to recover,” said Excalibur. Fortunately Daniels was able to tag in and hit the boots to Jericho, and then took flight with a tope suicida to Jake Hager! Daniels returned to the ring with a diving cross body block onto Jericho for a two-count! Hager tagged in but Daniels connected with a diving flatliner! Daniels followed up with the BME—Best Moonsault Ever—onto Hager, but Jericho broke up the pin! As the ref was distracted, MJF walloped Daniels with the Dynamite Diamond Ring! Jericho wasted no time and decimated Daniels with the Judas Effect! The ref turned around and saw Hager covering Daniels and she counted Hager’s pin on “The Fallen Angel!” “Strength in numbers. Who can beat the Inner Circle?” asked Excalibur.

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – No prisoners! Would they do the same for you? Take them down! You could say that The Inner Circle did the same to SCU, who showed so much here. Daniels and Kazarian keep turning back the hands of time to deliver marvelous performances like this one here. Char-broil the bastards! Hager was like a boulder that tumbled down the mountain side until it crushed all that lay before it. Jericho…excuse me…do not relent! Krystal’s will not be denied! Where was I? Ah yes…Jericho. This match marked a rare chance to see Chris Jericho and Christopher Daniels battle one another, which is certainly a battle for the ages…much like the battle we fight now! Who has the better sliders? Is it White Castle? No! Krystal’s! Trample under foot our arrogant enemy and thrust into them your French Fry blades! I say boy, I say…no mercy! Do you know who showed no mercy? SCU! SCU, even in defeat, were able to be aggressive and sudden in their attack, just like this army! Damn the enemy! Damn the oppression! Damn White Castle! Long live Krystal’s and long live both of these fine teams for going hold for hold and lock for lock without ever forgetting where they were in the match. C’mon maggots! Do ya wanna live forever?!

Match #5: Hikaru Shida def. Anna Jay – AEW Women’s World Championship Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

“This is a rematch, but now the stakes are even higher. The AEW Women’s World Championship is on the line here,” noted Excalibur. The Dark Order strolled onto the ramp to oversee the match and have Anna Jay’s back. Shida and Anna pushed and shoved each other. Shida shoulder tackled Anna Jay, who then countered with a standing switch on the champ. “She’s looking for that ‘Queenslayer,’” said Excalibur. “That’s what she put Brandi Rhodes out with when they attacked Cody,” replied Tony Schiavone. Shida escaped and used a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to take Anna Jay down hard! She followed up with a running dropkick. Shida tried for her running knee to Anna Jay, whose head was draped over the ring apron, but Anna Jay had it scouted! She chopped at Shida, keeping the pressure on her on the outside of the ring! “She’s laying it in here, man,” said Schiavone. “Anna Jay looks very comfortable challenging the very best in AEW,” noted Jim Ross. Shida was on the second turnbuckle when Anna Jay hit her with a spinning back kick, knocking her down to one knee. She took advantage of the situation with a snapmare to Shida. Anna Jay asked Tay Conti for a steel chair. Tay told her that she didn’t need the chair, but Anna grabbed it away from her to use on Shida. The referee took the chair away, and while his back was turned, John Silver handed a kendo stick to Anna Jay. She hit a homerun on Shida’s knee with the kendo stick! Anna Jay covered Shida who kicked out at the very last moment, narrowly avoiding defeat. The Queen Slayer was locked in, and Anna Jay was trying to put Shida to sleep! Shida rolled out of the Queen Slayer and countered with a shot to the back of Anna Jay’s head! Shida had Anna Jay in a vertical suplex, and when she came down Anna Jay reversed it for a near fall on the champ! “A scintillating near fall for Anna Jay,” said Jim Ross. Anna Jay charged but Shida ducked under, hooking on the straight jacket German suplex on the challenger! Shida slid through with an elbow, but Anna Jay kicked out of the pin! “What a battle!” remarked Tony Schiavone. Shida charged in with the running knee, hitting it right on the money, and finally pinned Anna Jay!

My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – This match may have been decent at best, but our fight is no less than great! Anna Jay may have faltered from time to time in her offense, but our offense is impenetrable. This line will not be broke! Hikaru saved the day in her title defense, making sure that Anna looked formidable, just as we are formidable! Hikaru deserved to retain and did so in impressive fashion, as we are wont to…what’s this? Private! What are you doing? I…this match was good…excuse me. Private!

Match #6: (Main Event) The Butcher & The Blade (with The Bunny & Eddie Kingston) def. Rey Fenix & PAC (with Penta El Zero Miedo of Death Triangle)

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Kingston joined the commentary team for this match. All four men brawled on the ramp before the bell was even rung! Butcher hurled Rey Fenix over the top rope into the ring! PAC and Blade continued to tangle ringside. PAC saved Rey Fenix from Butcher with a pump kick! Rey Fenix got great elevation and dropkicked Butcher from off the ropes! Death Triangle took flight and took out Butcher and the Blade on the outside! PAC tagged in but Butcher met him with all of his weight and a crossbody block! He hoisted PAC with a gut wrench and tagged in Blade, who dropkicked PAC on the back of the head. Butcher finished the sequence with the gut wrench to put an exclamation point at the end of the sentence. Rey Fenix tagged in and quickly hit a dropkick on Blade. Rey Fenix used ground and pound on Blade! PAC tagged in and used a hard hammer throw to the corner on Blade. PAC and Blade exchanged forearm shots. Blade dropped Rey Fenix with a hot shot—Eddie Gilbert-style! Butcher tagged in and crashed his knees onto Rey Fenix! He rammed Rey Fenix sternum-first into the turnbuckles. Blade tagged in but Rey Fenix had a cutter waiting for him! “What precision and marksmanship by Rey Fenix,” said Jim Ross. PAC tagged in and wiped out the Blade with a kicking combo and then a single leg dropkick! He followed up with a northern lights suplex but Blade managed to kick out before the three! PAC attempted a shooting star press but Blade moved out of the way. Blade scooped PAC with a powerslam! “Beautiful powerslam a la Buzz Sawyer,” remarked Jim Ross. Blade doctor bombed PAC and went for the pin but Rey Fenix broke it up just in time! Rey Fenix climbed to the top turnbuckle and while the referee was distracted by Butcher and PAC on the outside, Eddie Kingston sprinted to the ring. Kingston swept out the legs of Rey Fenix, who crashed down onto the mat! After their double-team finisher, Blade pinned Rey Fenix! “A tremendous victory for Butcher and the Blade but it would not have been possible without the intervention of the Bunny and Eddie Kingston,” noted Excalibur. “Eddie Kingston is a difference maker, no doubt about it,” agreed Jim Ross.

My Opinion: 3.2 out of 5 – Apart from some nice moves, there’s nothing really happening here besides PAC and Fenix doing some lovely moves. Private! What the in the Sam Hill are you doing?! Are you giving-up like The Butcher And The Blade did when they went through the motions. That being said, I feel like B&B are stuck in the holding pattern of AEW’s tag division. Their matches, while fun to watch, are also booked to only go so far, because they are here to mostly lose…like the North is going to lose! Private! What are you pulling out of your…my God! Is that…a White Castle slider?! Good God man! What are you…you’re eating it? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! What are you…I’m gonna be sick…sick like I am watching this match be little more than just being a vibrant exercise in painting-by-numbers. I…Private! What are…you’re giving that White Castle scum…a Krystal’s slider? He’s…eating it. Men…wha…they’re all doing it. I…I never realized they all wanted to eat both so badly. They enjoy both White Castle and Krystal’s. I may not enjoy this match as much as I wanted to, but it is good in the places it needs to be and that is important. I am glad B&B won the match…they deserved it…just like both White Castle and Krystal’s deserved to be eaten by whoever wants to do so.

News Of The Night:

  1. Taz choked out Cody Rhodes.
  2. Lance Archer attacked Eddie Kingston.
  3. SCU appears to be at war The Inner Circle.
  4. Abadon challenged Hikaru Shida for her AEW Women’s Title.
  5. Jon Moxley attacked Kenny Omega to seemingly accuse and get revenge for being attacked last week.

Final Verdict: 3.7/5

This was a good show. There was enough wrestling here to make this worthwhile. I am happy, not just for the quality show, but for the bounty that we now share, brothers-in-arms and family-in-sliders. Long live White Castle and Krystal’s!

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