‘AEW: Dynamite’ Review (Oct 21st 2020)

Welcome to this week’s All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have…well, it’s terrible. If I have to suffer through it, you have to loathe waiting to hear about it. DO YOU GET WHAT I’M F—KING SAYING TO YOU, ASS-HOLE?! IT’S A F—KING SHIT-STORM AND YOU HAVE TO GET WET TOO, MOTHER-F—KER!!!!!!! Dynamite starts…AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Match #1: Wardlow def. Jungle Boy (with Luchasaurus and Marko Stunt) – World Title Eliminator Quarter-Final Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Jungle Boy peppered Wardlow with shots right out of the gate! Jungle Boy tried to take out Wardlow’s vertical base with basement dropkicks. On the outside of the ring, Wardlow caught Jungle Boy and bombed him right into the metal ring post! Back in the ring, Wardlow hurled Jungle Boy across the ring effortlessly. Twice! “I think Wardlow is my favorite in this tournament,” said Tony Schiavone. “He’s an agile big-man,” replied Jim Ross. Jungle Boy was dropped with a gut wrench powerbomb from Wardlow. Jungle Boy kicked out at two! Wardlow ran over Jungle Boy with a lariat like a locomotive! “Jungle Boy needs to be more evasive,” said Schiavone. No sooner did Schiavone say that when Jungle Boy hit a knee strike and then a missile dropkick to Wardlow, sending “Mr. Mayhem” outside of the ring! Jungle Boy seized the moment with a tope suicida to Wardlow’s spine! He planted Wardlow with a DDT for a near fall! Jungle Boy was perched up on the top turnbuckle. He lured in Wardlow and connected with a reverse hurracanrana and then a diving knee drop in quick succession! “Wardlow needs to regroup here,” said Tony Schiavone. Jungle Boy attempted a DDT on the ramp but Wardlow countered with the F-10, chucking Jungle Boy back into the ring like a frisbee! Wardlow finished off Jungle Boy with another spectacular F-10!

My Opinion: 3.3 out of 5 – JB sold like crazy for Wardlow, who is still trying to convince people that Wardlow is a cool name. I mean, this is really all about watching JB sell for Wardlow. Wardlow did well here, but JB was the star here…and he lost. Tony Khan…he’s the man…and a dip-shit. This wasn’t very long, but Jungle Boy was the only reason why this worked.

Match #2: Kenny Omega def. Sonny Kiss – World Title Eliminator Quarter-Final Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Kenny’s new entrance consisted of dancing women with brooms! Kenny blasted Sonny with the V-trigger and followed up with the one-winged angel and that was more than enough for the pin! It was over just as soon as it began! Kenny cleaned up quickly! Kenny helped Sonny get up after the match, while Sonny tried to shake the cob webs.

My Opinion: 0 out of 5 – It was a few seconds and just Kenny doing two moves. BLOW ME.

Match #3: Rey Fenix def. Penta El Zero M – World Title Eliminator Quarter-Final Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

“This is going to be something special! The first time they’re meeting inside an All Elite ring,” said Excalibur. Eddie Kingston joined the broadcast team for this match. “I haven’t quit once in my life,” Kingston said to Jim Ross after J.R. asked him to comment on the upcoming “I Quit” match against Jon Moxley at FULL GEAR on November 7th. They traded arm drags and reversals until Penta El Zero M captured Rey Fenix in an ankle lock. Penta El Zero M went for a package piledriver early but Rey Fenix escaped. Penta El Zero M followed up with a thrust kick to Rey Fenix! They challenged one another to a chopping contest—you can tell they’re brothers with this type of behavior! Rey Fenix struck first! Penta El Zero M removed his glove and then blasted his brother with a chop to the chest! Rey Fenix almost buckled. Rey Fenix jumped off the top rope but Penta El Zero M stepped to the right and connected with a superkick to Rey Fenix for a near fall! Penta El Zero M was knocked to the floor and Rey Fenix caught his brother off guard with a sensational diving tornillo! Rey Fenix ran across the top of the ropes like a cat but Penta El Zero M kicked the rope, knocking Rey Fenix down to the mat! Penta El Zero M wiped out Rey Fenix with a sling blade off the middle rope! Rey Fenix, out of nowhere, superkicked Penta El Zero M, but it was only good for a two count! “This highly physical match is taking its toll on both competitors,” observed Excalibur. Rey Fenix decimated Penta El Zero M with a phenomenal Spanish fly, but Penta El Zero M kicked out! Penta El Zero M was frustrated and tried to break his brother’s arm with an arm bar! Penta El Zero M thought he might have the match won, but Rey Fenix pinned his brother after a wicked destroyer! “I’ve never seen anything like this!” said Tony Schiavone. “What a match!” added Jim Ross. “This is why they’re the best,” said Eddie Kingston.

My Opinion: 4.7 out of 5 – This was a great match that was better than anything so far and better than most of what has happened on Dynamite this year. The legitimate brothers had legitimate chemistry and had a legitimate classic that legitimately rules…bitch. I’m gonna bite’cha! Like Kevin Costner in a unicorn thong, this match was just what I needed to see to make my day great. These guys have a very intricate, layered approach to lucha libre that is almost addictive to watch. As many risks as these guys take, they take just as many precautions to ensure that the match doesn’t become their cause of death. I’m surprised Penta lost, but it’s always possible he pushed for his brother to go through instead. I loved this match.

Match #4: Adam Page def. Colt Cabana (with Evil Uno) – World Title Eliminator Quarter-Final Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Evil Uno stayed on the ramp, observing and trying to coach Colt from a distance. They began with some impressive chain wrestling with Colt getting the better of the exchange. Then Colt walked into the heavy hands of “Hangman,” eating a strike to the face! Page followed up with a clothesline. Colt blocked a second lariat with an elbow, but Page came back with a standing moonsault and then a big pescado! Both men were showing tremendous aggression, realizing the significance of winning this particular match. Colt and Page went back and forth with forearms! Hangman tossed Cabana with a fallaway slam! Page ran toward Cabana but Cabana stopped Page with an elbow! “Colt is hungry!” said Jim Ross. Cabana had plenty of momentum here until Page caught Cabana with a German suplex! He smashed Colt with an elbow, knocking Colt to the outside. Colt pushed Page off the apron and then countered with the diamond splash onto the arena floor! Colt climbed to the top for a splash but Page moved out of the way! Page powerbombed Colt but Colt kicked out at two! Page went for the buckshot lariat but Colt had it scouted and blocked it! Cabana went for the Chicago skyline but this time Hangman had it scouted and countered it! Page finally sealed the deal and beat the outstanding veteran Colt Cabana with the buckshot lariat! The Dark Order came out to the ring and assisted Colt to the back.

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was quite good and it didn’t feel like a stunt show, which is becoming rarer in this modern era of wrestling. Page dominated Colt like Mary-Kate on Ashley. You know they have a weird relationship! Why do you think Michelle always looked like she was up to no good?! Those girls are like “The Good Son” without Macaulay Culkin and Elijah Wood beating the shit out of each other on a mountain. Speaking of child abuse, Page beat Colt like a red-headed step-child and it made me feel…good. If you like watching some snappy action from two sexy ladies, then shake that ass over on yonder to these two bitchin’ floozies with the bangin’ bods that like to fight all night…for twelve to thirteen minutes…I think.

Match #5: Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. (with “Reba”) def. Kilynn King

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

King had wrist control on Baker, but Baker reversed it. Baker curb stomped King a la Super Dragon! King blasted the face of Baker with elbow strikes. Baker flatlined King into the middle turnbuckle! “That is an evil woman right there,” said Jim Ross. Baker caught King with a sling blade, ducked under a clothesline and countered with a DDT! Britt stomped on King’s face and then applied her lockjaw submission! Kilynn King quickly tapped out to Dr. Britt Baker!

My Opinion: 2.4 out of 5 – This was four minutes of what-ever. Nobody looked bad, but nobody looked great either.

Match #6: (Main Event) The Young Bucks (Matt & Nick Jackson) def. The Butcher & The Blade (with The Bunny) vs. The Dark Order (Alex “3” Reynolds & John “4” Silver) vs. Private Party (Marq Quen & Isiah Kassidy) – #1 Contender 4-Way Tag Team Match Where The Winners Earn A World Tag Team Title Match At FULL GEAR

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

AEW Tag Champs FTR—Cash Wheeler & Dax Harwood— joined the broadcast team for this match. Matt and Nick Jackson tagged in and out, taking on all comers by themselves. Private Party stopped the Bucks in their tracks with Private Party-style superkicks! Marq Quen made the most of the opportunity and dished out dropkicks. He jumped over the top rope and crashed onto Silver on the ramp, and then connected with Reynolds from the top turnbuckle to the arena floor! Marq Queen smashed into Blade with a shooting star press, but the Butcher broke up the count with his interference.“High stakes here, without a doubt, because the winners will face FTR for the titles,” said Jim Ross. John Silver, like a one-man wrecking crew, cleaned house! Dark Order implemented an impressive tandem offense sequence, and covered Marq Quen, but The Young Bucks made the save, breaking the pin! Private Party followed up with Silly String on Alex Reynolds and then the Hardy Party off the top rope, but the Bucks stopped the count again! “The Bucks need a win here. Psychologically, they need a win here,” said Jim Ross. Butcher and the Blade hit Full Death on Kassidy but the Bucks stopped the count! The Bucks had a game plan! Nick Jackson kicked everyone in the match right in the mush! “Still the best in the world,” said Nick Jackson to the camera. The Bucks unleashed a superkick party on the Butcher! “FTR, watch this!” yelled Matt Jackson on the top rope, as he and Nick used a piledriver senton combination on Private Party, until the rest of the teams broke up the pin, employing the Bucks’ strategy. The Bucks isolated Kassidy. They set Kassidy up for the Meltzer Driver, but Marq Quen pulled Nick Jackson off the apron! Meanwhile, Kassidy rolled up Matt Jackson, but Matt Jackson reversed the roll up attempt and pinned Kassidy! “Finally, the Bucks and FTR at FULL GEAR,” said Tony Schiavone.

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was a lot of spots that worked out really well and kept the pace of the show up to make the whole thing…it was okay…ALRIGHT!!!!!!!! I think a lot of this was just normal tag spots mixed with high-spots and brawling spots and…how many damn spots do I have to see? The Bucks won here and…no shit. They always win…even when they lose, they still win. Now, this spirited match was booked to lead to the first Young Buck/FTR match, but the wonky build since FTR arrived has ruined that some-what. I really want to say that this was a great contest, but it was just more of the same on a night when The Lucha Brothers had a true classic in more ways than one. This main event, as good as it was, truly disappointed, because it could have been so much more.

News Of The Night:

1. Chris Jericho and MJF had a musical number. Shoot them…shoot them both.
2. Cody fights Orange Cassidy for the TNT Title in a Lumberjack match, next week.

Final Verdict: 3.5/5

This show was the best and worst of AEW. You get The Lucha Brothers instant classic and the Jericho/MJF musical abortion that hilariously pissed me off. Does Tony Khan even want to stay in business?