09th Sep2020

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (Sept 8th 2020)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have Eric Young’s Canadian reign of Canadian terror on this Canadian wrestling league. SCREW CANADA!!!!!!! Well, Some-Where had a car drive in a circle for two minutes and Impact starts now.

Match #1: TJP def Chris Bey

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

The action is fast and furious as TJP charges the ring and goes on the attack. The winner of this match could potentially be next in line for a shot at Rohit Raju’s X-Division Championship. Speaking of the champ, Rohit Raju comes down to ringside and observes the action. TJP hits a handspring arm-drag, followed by a dropkick to Bey on the apron. TJP is about to fly but Bey pulls the referee towards him, causing hesitation. TJP hits one suplex after another but Bey avoids the follow-up Mamba Splash. TJP rolls up Bey to score the pin and the win.

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was a brisk, fierce way to start the show that offered Bey and TJP a radically aggressive bout to compete in. Not simply content to be a spot-fest, this match was wrestled like it was a fight, but in the vein of a spectacle as well. If you like seeing wrestling with a striking ferocity to it, then you have issues you freak. I wanted this to go even farther, but the match did a lot in in decent amount of time.

Match #2: Brian Myers def Willie Mack

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Myers tries to blindside Willie from the outset but Chocolate Thunder sees it coming. Willie takes control with a springboard dive to the floor. Myers turns the tide by driving Willie back first into the ring apron. Myers begins to wear his opponent down but Willie is able to create separation and start building momentum. Willie hits a big leg drop for two. Willie hits his signature Samoan Drop, followed by the standing Moonsault for another near fall. Willie connects with a powerful Spinebuster, then begins to pummel Myers in the corner. Willie tears the shirt off Myers and throws it across the ring. As the referee turns his back to remove it, Myers connects with a low blow, followed by the DDT to win.

My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – This was good, but not great, because we had Myers wearing his street clothes in this. This had head-locks! You like ‘em? Myers and Mack should get friendly so they can make M&Ms. There’s plenty of stiff shots and tight clinches in here, but the match also felt like it needed… I wanted this to be more than a few strikes and slams, but it was solid nonetheless.

Match #3: Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) def Rascalz (Dez & Wentz) – Impact World Tag Team Championships

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

At Slammiversary, The Guns answered the Rascalz open challenge as they made their shocking return to IMPACT Wrestling. Tonight, they meet in a rematch with the Tag Team Championships on the line. The Rascalz jump-start the match by attacking the Guns on the ramp during their entrance. The Guns regain control as they cut off the ring, preventing Wentz from making the tag to Dez. Sabin and Shelley target the knees of Dez as they try to eliminate his high-flying ability. The Guns are in total control as they wear down both members of the Rascalz with in-sync submissions. Dez finally breaks it up with a standing Shooting Star to Shelley. Dez holds Sabin and Wentz connects a top rope double foot stomp for two. Sabin avoids Hot Fire Flame, allowing the Guns to put Wentz away with a double team flurry.

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – These guys whopped on each other like teenage girls on acid-laced Ambien. You know, my friends at the power-plant think MCMG sucks…so I killlllllllled theeeeeeeeeeem!!!!!!! If you like kinetic, frenetic X-Division action from four incredibly talented people, then you’ll love seeing the great veterans in Sabin and Shelley fight the Pot-Head Brigade for the straps.

Match #4: Taya Valkyrie w/ John E Bravo def Tasha Steelz w/ Kiera Hogan

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Taya hits a dropkick in the early going. Kiera hooks the leg of Taya from the outside, allowing Tasha to gain control. At ringside, Bravo continues to plan his upcoming wedding with Rosemary as he takes his eye off the match and answers a phone call. Taya hits a sit-out powerbomb after calling for Bravo’s attention. Taya connects with a spear, followed by Road to Valhalla to win.

My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – This turned out pretty well for a match that was so short. Everything here was very smooth and fluid, like my menstrual cycle. Taya and Tasha smacked each other around like crazy, but the match simply relied on the “John E Bravo isn’t paying attention” routine too much. Still, this was good fun and was a nice teaser for what these two can really do with one another.

Match #5: (Main Event) Eric Young def Tommy Dreamer – Old School Rules Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Old School Rules means there are no disqualifications, no countouts and anything goes. EY jumps off the top but Dreamer cuts him off with a kendo stick shot. Dreamer uses a steel chain across the eyes of EY. The World Class Maniac attempts a piledriver on the exposed concrete but Dreamer counters with a back bodydrop. EY sends Dreamer flying off the top, narrowly missing a pile of steel chairs. Dreamer stops the onslaught momentarily with a cutter. Dreamer hits an Irish whip into a steel garbage can, followed by a DDT for two. EY cracks his hockey mask off the skull of Dreamer, followed by a sick piledriver to win.

My Opinion: 3.1 out of 5 – This was a mean brawl that favored Eric’s natural athletic gifts. If you like watching two old fukkers throwing each other around like Dudley Moore and Bo Derek. This match was like when a lady nails a comedian, because she gets HA HA in her hoo-hah. Eric was like a little psycho here, grunting and roaring with every blow landed to Captain Yonkers. This was a decent main event with the right winner and that’s that.

News of The Night:

  1. Taya Valkyrie is co-planning the wedding of John E Bravo and Rosemary while Rosemary resurrects James Mitchell so he can officiate the wedding.
  2. Rich Swann saved Tommy Dreamer from Eric Young.
  3. The most of the tag team division got into a brawl after the Tag strap match.
  4. The Whole F’n Talk Show starts next week and Sami Callihan might try to destroy it.
  5. Moose went back to see his old high school coach while looking for EC3 and his coach talked like EC3 before several imposter EC3s got the schnoogies smacked out of them by Moose.
  6. Next week’s matches are:
    Kimber Lee and Deonna Purrazzo vs. Kylie Rae and Susie
    Brian Myers vs. Willie Mack
    XXXL vs. The Deaners
    Kiera Hogan vs. Taya Valkyrie
    The North, Ace Austin & Madman Fulton vs. The Rascalz & The Motor City Machine Guns

Final Verdict: 3.4/5

This was a good show that had some problems, but it also had some promising wrestling on here that got deflated by lack of time.


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