31st Aug2020

WWE Friday Night SmackDown – Aug 28th 2020: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s WWE Friday Night SmackDown review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have…SmackDown. I’m really shooting for the stars here. There’s a lot of major problems happening in the world right now and if you are at the mercy of any of them, then just remember that you are not alone, even when it feels like you must be. Also, Chadwick Boseman, the celebrated actor of such roles as Ernie Davis, Jackie Robinson, James Brown and the Black Panther, among so many great ones, has died of colon cancer at the age of only 43. Chadwick had the disease for four years and worked through many treatments and surgeries to reach the first great pinnacle of his career, the role of T’Challa, The Black Panther. Chadwick was initially a director before his acting career suddenly took off and just held on for the ride. Boy, I’m gonna miss that guy…he seemed very nice and genuine. Well, in honor of Chadwick Boseman and his 17 year acting career, along with anyone in this world that is having a hard time, this review is for you…and for money.

Match #1: Jeff Hardy def. Shinsuke Nakamura – Intercontinental Championship Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Jeff Hardy opened his reign as Intercontinental Champion with an Open Challenge to anyone on the blue brand. AJ Styles interrupted Hardy’s original proclamation, but he quickly revealed that he was unable to compete due to the injuries he sustained the previous week. The Charismatic Enigma didn’t hesitate to take out The Phenomenal One before Shinsuke Nakamura emerged to take up the challenge. The King of Strong Style targeted the champion’s hobbled knee and slowed the titleholder’s early momentum. Hardy dug deep and nailed a Twist of Fate that left Nakamura ripe for a devastating Swanton Bomb that sealed the successful title defense.

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – I thought these two matched-up perfectly. All the weird grooves that these two have fit together like they were carved out at the same time. These guys went all the way with the edgy gusto here and just felt like The Ramones on Ambien/Ambian/Ambion/Am Bein’ Pissed Off I Don’t Know How To Spell This Word. Hardy and Nakamura have a freaky chemistry together that was just magnetic, like a magnet. Am I blowing your mind with this incredible review? No? Well…phuck you! Hardy and Nakamura gave me a contact high just from watching them wrestle and that’s enough for me. What a fine prize fight to open the show and what a taste of a delicious dish…for revenge.

Match #2: Matt Riddle def. Shorty G [Chad Gable]

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Matt Riddle was ready to cut right to the chase when he stormed into the ring and called out King Corbin. Corbin eventually emerged and graciously accepted the challenge – on behalf of Shorty G. The Original Bro was on fire from the start, as he wanted to send a message to the onlooking Corbin. After a flurry of attacks, Riddle landed a Bro Derek to earn the quick victory. Corbin made a move toward Riddle after the win, but the two competitors separated and stared each other down with a WWE Payback showdown looming.

My Opinion: 2.3 out of 5 – As short as this was, there were some good mechanics here, but it was too short…like my Dick Johnson.

Match #3: Braun Strowman def. Drew Gulak

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After finding himself in the crosshairs of The Monster during last week’s RETRIBUTION attack, Drew Gulak was set on delivering his own payback to Braun Strowman. It was clear from the start that Gulak bit off more than he could chew, as The Strowman Express got rolling. Strowman tossed Gulak around the ring and then unleashed a vicious Running Powerslam to end the carnage with a win.

My Opinion: 2 out of 5 – Gulak got squashed like my dreams of “Being John Malkovich”…’s house skank.

Match #4: Cesaro def. Kalisto

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Kalisto has been set on reasserting his position in Lucha House Party, but Cesaro did his best to cast even more doubt. Cesaro hit an early backbreaker to ground the high-flyer. Kalisto battled back to land a DDT and an ensuing acrobatic attack that nearly secured the win. Gran Metalik and Lince Durado had an altercation with Shinsuke Nakamura at ringside, and the distraction allowed Cesaro to pull off the roll-up win. After the match, an argument between the three members of Lucha House Party showed there’s plenty to still sort out before they restart the party.

My Opinion: 3.4 out of 5 – While shorter than the pros list for having Donald Trump or any politician as American President, this match was a great tease of the kind of wild match these two can have together. What do I gotta do to get these two back into the ring together? This was such a fun battle of styles, with Cesaro’s technical skills clashing with Kalisto’s aerial abilities. There was never a dull moment with this, even though there were so few minutes in this at all. Bring these guys back together or I’ll call Elle Fanning…I MEAN IT!!!!!!!!

Match #5: (Main Event) Big E & Heavy Machinery def. Sheamus, John Morrison & The Miz

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Big E put his singles run aside for a night to team with Heavy Machinery against Sheamus, John Morrison & The Miz. After a heated backstage exchange before SmackDown, The Miz uninvited Big E from his scheduled appearance on “Miz TV.” Tucker delivered the first big moment as he took out all three of his opponents, but as the Heavy Machinery member went for a pin, Sheamus rang the bell to momentarily halt the action in the ring. Big E got some payback after last week’s altercation with The Miz on “Talking Smack.” The New Day powerhouse landed multiple belly-to-belly suplexes and a thunderous splash on The A-Lister. Shortly after, Sheamus angrily exited from ringside after The Miz & John Morrison kept ignoring his requests for a tag. With the odds stacked against him and Morrison, The Miz connected with a Skull-Crushing Finale to Otis, but Big E entered as the legal man and landed a Big Ending for the victory.

My Opinion: 2.4 out of 5 – This was…have you ever seen F-Troop? Yeah, this was F-Troop, but not funny. Sheamus was ringing a bell and The Miz cried and Morrison tapped his leg, all while Otis bounced his ass off of the air and Big E stared bug-eyed at nothing until he hit some-body. You can skip this like most of Peak TV.

News Of The Night:

  1. Sami Zayn returned to attack Jeff Hardy and start a feud with him over the Intercontinental Title.
  2. Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura teased dissention over Nakamura taking Jeff Hardy’s open challenge.
  3. Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura rejected the returning Sami Zayn.
  4. Alexa Bliss is teasing turning heel by way of insanity caused by Bray Wyatt.
  5. Adam Pearce had to collect the signatures for the Universal Title match at Vince McMahon’s behest.
  6. Bayley and Sasha Banks teased more dissention by Bayley admitting she thinks Sasha is cursed concerning the Raw Women’s Title.
  7. Roman Reigns may have turned heel…because Paul Heyman is now his manager.
  8. King Corbin fights Matt Riddle at Payback.

Final Verdict: 2.6/5

There were a few cool booking decisions here and two of the matches had some really crisp, thrilling action, but the show largely failed to enthrall on its own accord.

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