20th Jul2020

‘Impact Wrestling: Slammiversary 2020’ PPV Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this review of Slammiversary 2020, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have the big night where “our world changes”, or something like that. This could be a real hit, or just more disappointment from the little engine that just won’t stop (even for pedestrians). Well, my son Henry Jr. just shot these nice Nazi’s, so let’s just walk over these bodies and enjoy Slammiversary 202… Junior! Look at what you did! You shot those men! Slammiversary begins…NOW!

Match #1: Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) def. Rascalz (Dez & Wentz)

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Shelley holds Dez on the floor while Sabin delivers a running kick from the apron. The Machine Guns wear down Wentz, showing off their unique double team offense. Sabin cranks the neck of Wentz, followed by a strong forearm from Shelley. Wentz turns the tide and makes the tag to Dez. He launches himself off the back of Sabin to take out Shelley on the apron. Dez sends Wentz soaring through the air with a pair of dropkicks for The Machine Guns. Wentz goes for the Swanton but Shelley gets his knees up. The Machine Guns have Dez beat but Wentz drives Shelley into the pin to break things up. Sabin and Shelley put Dez away with The Dirt Bomb to win.

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – Well, this was a pleasant surprise. MCMG picked-up right where they left off and gave their contemporaries in the Reefer Bunch a lesson in “mayonnaise”. There’s so much action in here that you’d be hard-pressed to not get laid. Sabin looked fantastic in his return, so much so that he may have found the Fountain Of Youth. To that end, I think Shelley might have shown the Fountain Of Youth to Sabin, because he looked just as great as Sabin did. Boy, I’m really hitting a home run on this, aren’t I? If you like…why does this review suck? Is it the drugs? Is PCP bad for writing? Oh God…I’M COMING DOWWWWWWWWWWWWWN!!!!!! Well, as I freak out to death, you can freak out over the great wrestling you’re getting in this match. MCMG is back and I…AM COMING DOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWN!!!!!!!!!

Match #2: Moose def. Tommy Dreamer – Old School Rules Match For The TNA World Heavyweight Championship

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Self-proclaimed TNA World Heavyweight Champion Moose is set to “defend” his title against Tommy Dreamer! Old School Rules means anything goes as Dreamer hits Moose over the head with a trash can lid. Moose goes low as he drives Dreamer into the guardrail. Moose hits a vertical suplex on the steel ramp. Dreamer hits a Russian leg sweep with his signature kendo stick. Dreamer jumps off the top but Moose cuts him off with a sick mid-air dropkick. Dreamer connects with the cutter into a garbage can. Moose turns the tide with a modified Uranagi into a pile of steel chairs, followed by a standing Moonsault. Dreamer hits his signature DDT but Moose kicks out at two. Moose puts Dreamer face-first into a pile of thumbtacks. Moose connects with the Lights Out Spear to win.

My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – This was a standard sort of garbage brawl that was saved by Dreamer’s psychology and some excellent camera angles. Dreamer may have seen better days a long time ago, but he still has the mind of a genius (at certain things) and that’s on display here. Moose looked like some-body’s crazy aunt and Dreamer was a regular Rory Calhoun (no ferrets, though). Moose actually showed a lot of charisma here and even had the balls to do a Rock Bottom. I’m not really into the hardcore stuff anymore, but there was some excellent drama here that made this a victory in suspense, if not wrestling. All in all, I’ll never fall down a flight of stairs and this match was goo…AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! DAMN STAIRS!!!!!! HELLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!!!!!

Match #3: Kylie Rae Wins the #1 Contender Knockouts Gauntlet

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Tasha Steelz and Kylie Rae start the match. They will compete for two minutes, then the next Knockout will enter. Eliminations occur by throwing your opponent over the top rope. Taya Valkyrie’s music hits but John E Bravo comes out dressed as Wera Loca. He gets sent over the top for the quick elimination. Knockouts will now enter every minute. Kimber Lee is out next, followed by Tasha’s partner, Kiera Hogan. Tasha and Kiera now have the advantage, being an established tag team. Susie enters the gauntlet, and she works together with Kylie to eliminate Tasha. Katie Forbes is a surprise entrant and twerks with Kiera before trying to eliminate her. Madison Rayne enters the gauntlet and she squares off with Kiera. Havok is out next. Havok hits Kiera with a powerful swinging slam, followed by a Chokeslam to Kylie. This time, the real Taya Valkyrie enters the gauntlet. Alisha enters the match with a flurry of offense, hitting Taya with a big tornado DDT. Katie is eliminated as Havok throws Alisha into Kylie. Nevaeh joins her partner Havok in decimating their competition. Rosemary is the next entrant but moments later, John E Bravo re-enters the match dressed as the Demon Assassin. Meanwhile, Susie is eliminated. Taya accidentally strikes her friend, Rosemary. Havok was about to eliminate them both but Bravo saves them and throws her over the top rope. Madison is eliminated, followed by Alisha and Nevaeh. Kiera is next to get tossed to the floor. Kylie eliminates Lee with a clothesline. Rosemary locks in Upside Down on Kylie but Taya shockingly tosses her friend to the floor. The final two are Kylie Rae and Taya Valkyrie, the match will now end in pinfall or submission. Kylie connects with a huge superkick to win.

My Opinion: 2.3 out of 5 – This was like watching twenty minutes of a snail going to the strip club…to get a candy bar. There’s not much action in here, but at least the right person won. John E Bravo annoys the shit out of me, but at least the women whooped his ass. Kylie Rae…alright…very cool…to the zoo (with aphalgasauruses and twinkleagles and Zoltan…ZOLTAN!)! If you don’t know me by now, then this match was not bad.

Match #4: Chris Bey def. Willie Mack –X-Division Championship Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

The X-Division Title is on the line at Slammiversary! Willie hits Bey with a sick neckbreaker on the apron. Bey is perched on the top but Willie halts his momentum with a leaping dropkick. Bey regains control with a slingshot Slingblade. Bey uses his former friend Johnny Swinger’s finisher, the Swinging Neckbreaker. Willie catches Bey in mid-air with a sit-down powerbomb. Willie hits the Exploder suplex into the turnbuckles. Willie connects with the Stunner but Bey avoids the Six-Star Frog Splash. Bey rakes the eyes, followed by The Art of Finesse to become the new X-Division Champion!

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was a vigorous sprint to a finish line covered in sparkles and whale guts. Bey winning was something of a surprise, but not a bad one. I would have stuck with Mack retaining, but at least Bey has potential as a champion. These guys really knocked each other around like it was the last day of Earth. I could watch these two smack each other around all day, but I also said the same thing about Ike and Tina Turner (no I didn’t and I’m glad she left his evil ass), so what do I know? There’s a lot of meat left on the bone when it comes to these two fighting each other, so my hope is that there will be more between these two.

Match #5: The North (Ethan Page & Josh Alexander) def. Sami Callihan & Ken Shamrock – Impact Tag Team Championships Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Can Shamrock and Callihan coexist and capture the Tag Team Championships or will The North continue their historic reign? Alexander and Shamrock square off in a submission battle to open the match. The North corner Shamrock but he fights back with a double clothesline. Shamrock makes the tag to Callihan who goes on the attack. Callihan hits Page with a Brainbuster for two. Callihan and Page go back-and-forth as they take each other out with in-sync big boots. Both men make the tag and the pace quickens. Callihan quickly tags himself back in. The North take Callihan off the top with double team offense. Shamrock locks in the Ankle Lock on Page. Meanwhile, Alexander does the same to Callihan. Page pushes Callihan into Shamrock and they start to argue. Shamrock aims for Alexander but accidentally hits Callihan with a roundhouse kick. Shamrock sends Alexander flying with a super belly-to-belly suplex. Shamrock crashes and burns with a dive to the outside. The North put him away with their signature double team finisher to retain.

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – Hey, 3.5 is a good theme to repeat. It went a while and delivered some frenetic action from four guys who committed to fighting like they had already been committed for fighting. That sentence…confused me. The North won, as they should have, because they are just that damn good. Sami and Ken worked well together, but they were still just a fun mash-up team to break the monotony of who’s been wrestling The North lately, so screw it. Ken worked hard to keep-up with the young bucks (not those ones) and the three bucks of youth (not those ones) worked hard to make this a match that didn’t leave anybody behind. Okay, this was fun and so is liposuction.

Match #6: Deonna Purrazzo def. Jordynne Grace –Knockouts’ Championship Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

This ultra-personal rivalry comes to a head with the Knockouts Championship on the line. Grace overpowers Deonna in the early going, causing her to retreat to the outside. Grace dives through the ropes and lays in a series of shots on the floor. Deonna begins to wear down the arms and shoulders of the champ. Deonna takes Jordynne off her feet with a strong clothesline. The Virtuosa locks in the armbar but Grace gets to the ropes. Deonna continues to dominate. Grace begins to build momentum with a submission of her own. Grace doesn’t get all of a Grace Driver because of the damage done to her arm. Both competitors exchange shots as Grace gets the upper-hand with multiple powerslams. Jordynne connects with a splash in the corner but Deonna kicks out at two. Deonna locks in the double armbar, forcing Grace to verbally quit. Deonna Purrazzo is the new Knockouts Champion!

My Opinion: 3.9 out of 5 – This was some great stuff. There’s plenty of explosive action here, but the commitment to the slow, gradual mat wrestling that these two are capable of was just what this needed. Deonna showed more here than in any nationally televised match she’s had in a good three/four years. This felt like a prize fight and was wrestled like a prize fight. The outcome was always in question, because both fighters had that aura to them that reminds you of great stars past or Denny’s. Grace was intense here, like a bunch of convicts at Popeye’s after escaping from prison. Deonna won and should have won, because she is the biggest star of the women’s division right now and Grace can chase her all the way to Bound For Glory. This was a real winner on a night when a victory was almost necessary.

Match #7: (Main Event) Eddie Edwards def. Ace Austin, Rich Swann, Eric Young & Trey – Impact World Championship Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Rich Swann throws away his crutches and is revealed as the fourth competitor in this World Title main event! The match is about to begin when the World Class Maniac, Eric Young makes his return to IMPACT Wrestling. This match is now a five-way! Eddie dives to the outside but is caught by Madman Fulton and driven into the hardest part of the ring. Referee Brandon Tolle ejects Fulton from ringside. Fulton refuses to leave until Tolle threatens to disqualify Ace. Fulton leaves as Swann picks Ace off the top with a Rana. Swann attempts a handspring cutter but Eddie counters into a Blue Thunder Bomb. Trey hits Swann with combination offense, sending him to the floor. Trey ducks a clothesline from Eddie and dives through the bottom rope, taking out Swann on the floor with a Destroyer. Eddie has Ace beat but Trey is blinded by rage and breaks up the pin. It costs him as Young hits Trey with a devastating Piledriver for the elimination. Young counters body scissors from Swann into a back suplex. Young powerbombs Swann into Eddie and Ace, sending them flying off the top through a table on the floor. Swann counters a Piledriver attempt and rolls up Young for the elimination. Young snaps and brutally attacks Swann with a steel chair, targeting his previously injured leg. Ace picks up the pieces and eliminates Swann with The Fold. Eddie Edwards and Ace Austin are the final two competitors and one of them will leave as champion. Eddie counters The Fold into a belly-to-belly suplex. Eddie connects with the Boston Knee Party for a near fall. Ace successfully hits The Fold for a near fall of his own. Ace jumps off the top but Eddie avoids him. Eddie connects Die Hard Flowsion to become the new IMPACT World Champion!

My Opinion: 3.6 out of 5 – This was mayhem, both wild yet calculated. I won’t tell you that you can find the greatest match in here, but there were plenty of big spots here that should only be done PPV. Eric looked great in his return and so did Rich, who’s recovered from his leg injury. Ace was great like a spade of base, which is a reference even I lost track of. Trey was a house of fire to admire and desire like barbed wire in a spire. Eddie…okay, they were all fantastic at what they did and delivered a great match with some rough edges and blemishes. Eddie is the right choice for champion, because he’s a name that people will pay to see and he can be an anchor for the league for as long as he’s treated well by the bookers/promotion.

News Of The Night:

  1. The following people were at Slammiversary and are now a part of Impact Wrestling:
    EC3 (video at end)
    Karl Anderson
    Doc Gallows (Luke Gallows)
    Eric Young
    Heath Miller (Heath Slater)
    Chris Sabin
    Alex Shelley
  2. Rich Swann was the fourth man for the World Title match.
  3. Eric Young was a surprise fifth competitor in the World Title match.
  4. Heath Miller debuted by brawling with Rohit Raju and having Rhino promise to do some-thing about getting him a spot on the roster.
  5. Chris Bey is the new X-Division Champion.
  6. Deonna Purrazzo is the new Knockouts’ Champion.
  7. Eddie Edwards is the new Impact World Champion.
  8. This Tuesday on IMPACT!, The North will defend the Tag Team Titles against The Motor City Machine Guns.
  9. Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows seem to be with Eddie Edwards right now as a faction, based on them protecting Eddie and celebrating his World Title win with him.

Final Verdict: 3.8/5

There was a lot of strong action here and a focus on getting the right people some attention. I look forward to seeing how Bound For Glory turns out.

Off

Comments are closed.