15th Jul2020

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (July 14th 2020)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have the final build for Slammiversary heading for us like Noriega at a buffet line for hoors. We’ve got some matches and some vignettes to sell Slammiversary, so get back, Honky Cat, and enjoy the wrestling.

Match #1: Havok, Nevaeh, Alisha Edwards, Susie & Kylie Rae def. Kimber Lee, Kiera Hogan, Tasha Steelz, Rosemary & Taya Valkyrie w/ John E Bravo

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

There’s a flurry of high-flying offense in the early going as Susie somersaults off the apron, Havok throws Alisha over the top, and Havok dives through the ropes to the floor. Kylie wants to fly but she’s cut off by Taya. Susie picks Lee off the top with a Rana. Taya and Rosemary take out Havok with a double Spear. Alisha hits an impressive double DDT on both Taya and Rosemary. Susie hits Lee with Su Yung’s finisher, the Panic Switch, to win.

My Opinion: 2.7 out of 5 – This had some excellent action from time to time, but the match never felt like more than some tense moves and a bit of razzle-dazzle once in a while. I could count on one hand how many times this match lived-up to its potential. I didn’t mind how many fighters there were booked in this, but I did mind how everybody felt so secondary to the match itself. There’s some hard work in here, but the stakes for this bout were never really promoted, so this was just an exercise in motion, rather than momentum. Well, I’m done blowing smoke out of my ass and this match can rest easy knowing it was a decent opener with an occasional flash of greatness.

Match #2: The Deaners (Cody Deaner & Cousin Jake) def. XXXL (Acey Romero & Larry D)

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Acey hits Snake Eyes in the corner, followed by a running a crossbody. Acey goes for the pin but Jake breaks it up. Acey clobbers Jake with a shoulder tackle. Larry connects with a sit-down Powerbomb on Cody but Jake is the legal man and he pins Larry from behind to win.

My Opinion: 1.3 out of 5 – This wasn’t much (in time or quality), but it did make XXXL look tough and that’s the supposed to be the main goal for their matches right now. All in all, this was ants at a picnic.

Match #3: Tommy Dreamer & Crazzy Steve def. Moose & Rohit Raju

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Before Dreamer challenges Moose for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship this Saturday at Slammiversary, they meet in tag team action. Moose sends Steve flying across the ring with a Fallaway Slam. Moose charges into the corner but Steve sidesteps him. Steve and Dreamer double team the self-proclaimed TNA World Heavyweight Champion. Dreamer dropkicks Steve into a crossbody to Moose. Dreamer is about to fly but Rohit cuts him off with a clothesline. Moose and Dreamer brawl outside the ring as Dreamer sends him into the steel ring post. Steve hits Rohit with a top rope DDT to win.

My Opinion: 2.7 out of 5 – This was a decent match that was as slow as my short, yellow, school-bus dinky in the Lincoln Tunnel. Dreamer is not in the great condition he was once in, but he still has the smarts necessary to make sure he is always in the right spot at the right time. There isn’t any part of this match that was bad, but if you’re looking for the best, get a Pepsi…up the wazoo.

Match #4: (Main Event) Hernandez vs. Rhino – Back-Lot Brawl (Draw)

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Hernandez and Rhino look to settle their bet in a parking lot brawl. Rhino gains the upper-hand with a low blow. Rhino thinks he’s won when Hernandez chokes him with his bandanna. The fight continues as Hernandez assaults Rhino with a parking cone. It comes to an end when Rhino hits a devastating Gore, driving Hernandez into a steel fence. Rhino and Hernandez earn each other’s respect and split the cash 50/50.

My Opinion: 1.4 out of 5 – This was a lousy brawl where two guys that can still do some good stuff in the ring looked twenty years older than usual. This was a cinematic wrestling match, so just lower the bar so low that it busts and you’ll be where you need to be to watch this match. This was terrible, but so was every movie ever directed by Joss Whedon (screw Serenity), so there you go Idaho.

News Of The Night:

  1. Scott D’amore received a signed contract from someone who is scheduled for Slammiversary.
  2. Trey brawled with Ace Austin in Ohio.
  3. Jordynne Grace and Deonna Purrazzo brawled during their contract signing for Slammiversary.
  4. Johnny Swinger got re-instated for Slammiversary, but abandoned Chris Bey when he heard Bey bury him to Gia Miller.
  5. Susie is being teased to turn back into Su Yung.

Final Verdict: 2.7/5

As a wrestling show, this was weak, but there were some excellent vignettes for Slammiversary that sold the event quite well. It’ll be interesting to see who is being brought in for the roster, as well as if the Paul Heyman rumor is true or not.

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