25th Jun2020

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (June 23rd 2020)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have…well, Michael Elgin is suspended and Dave Crist and Joey Ryan are fired, due to the numerous sexual misconduct allegations made against them. Jake Crist has been accused of being very violent at work (allegedly). Tessa Blanchard is still (allegedly) accused of being a racist and a sociopath by people in the wrestling industry and Moose still has an old accusation of perversion (allegedly). Also, I’m pretty sure Sami Callihan is crazy and Rich Swann just as much. Impact sure knows how to pick’em, don’t they? Well, why we all get creeped out, let’s consider how tall Santa’s elves are…stupid little fuckers. Impact is on like that old episode of “Bonanza” where George Costanza put his hands’a on The Band’s last waltz’a and’a evened his Steven the hard way…all damn day long…kajong-kajong!

Match #1: Tasha Steelz w/ Kiera Hogan def. Nevaeh w/ Havok

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Tasha runs her mouth before the match begins but Nevaeh has heard enough and sends her to the outside. Tasha gains control and then distracts the referee as Kiera chokes Nevaeh on the ropes. Tasha hits a bicycle kick for two. Neveah counters the Okurrr into a German suplex for a near fall of her own. Kiera gets up on the apron, allowing Tasha to roll up Nevaeh with a handful of tights off the distraction to win.

My Opinion: 2.9 out of 5 – I liked this, but the stuff with the managers got in the way of the fun…F…U…N…FUN! There’s some-thing very Robert Mitchum-y about all of this, from the way Tasha always leapt across the ring like a psychotic gazelle to Nevaeh doing her best Brock Lesnar impression with the numerous suplexes. I thought these two kept the action going at a steady pace and found a nice rhythm that took them to the end. I thought the end was rather anti-climactic, but so is Robert Mitchum. SWERVE! Actually, as matches go, this had lots of potential, but it got whoopified by over-booking the interferences, especially near the end.

Match #2: Deonna Purrazzo def. Alisha Edwards

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Deonna makes her in-ring debut as she targets the arm of Alisha in the early going. Deonna sends Alisha in the corner but she fights back with a series of strikes. Deonna comes right back with a running knee, followed by a side leg sweep. Deonna locks in the arm-bar, forcing Alisha to tap.

My Opinion: 2.9 out of 5 – Deonna dictated the pace like a true star and Alisha showed more here than in any of her performances I’ve seen in Impact. This needed more time to be the match it could have been, but they worked hard and Deonna got her ball rolling!

Match #3: Taya Valkyrie w/ John E Bravo def. Susie

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

John E Bravo rushes down the ramp to accompany Taya Valkyrie to ringside – one can assume that he was preoccupied with his new friend, Rosemary. Susie hits a running bulldog in the early going. Susie charges into the corner but Taya sends her head-first into the turnbuckles, followed by a German suplex. Susie says “that’s bad!” as she hits a Hurricanrana for two. Taya regains control by planting Susie’s face into the mat. Taya puts Susie away with the Road to Valhalla.

My Opinion: 2.4 out of 5 – This was quite slow and cumbersome, like me doing anything. I don’t know why this didn’t come together, but I always put the blame on time. Maybe they hate each other? Hell, sometimes matches just don’t work? The shits! These two must’ve had the shits. I hate that when it happens. You’re at the park and…plplplpvvlvlvlvllvlvlvlvlvlvl! …and I never pick it up! You pick it up! Well, whatever the reason, I don’t think this match failed for a lack of trying. Taya won and should have, which is the way it should be.

Match #4: Chris Bey, Johnny Swinger & Rohit Raju def. The Deaners & Willie Mack

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Willie hits Rohit with his signature standing Moonsault in the opening minutes of the match. Things begin to break down as Willie Mack and the Deaners send their opponents soaring over the top rope. Swinger, Bey and Rohit wear down Cody on their side of the ring, gaining total control of the match. Cody breaks free and tags in Jake, who’s fired up. Jake spears Rohit into the corner, followed by a massive powerbomb on Bey. Swinger hits Jake with the Swinging Neckbreaker but gets immediately taken out with a DDT from Cody. Bey throws his own partner, Rohit into a Willie’s Stunner. Bey capitalizes with the second-rope Famouser to win.

My Opinion: 3.2 out of 5 – This came together well enough, with Bey getting the rub he deserved from Mack, who looked strong in defeat. Cody Deaner may have been the biggest pleasure here, showing more than he has before and just how much progress he’s had as a wrestler. Raju was quite spirited and kinda had a “Speedy Gonzalez meets Frank Sinatra Jr.” vibe to him. The Swing-man did his thing and…it was alright. All in all, this match was what it needed to be and nothing more…except it was kinda fun.

Match #5: (Main Event) Madman Fulton w/ Ace Austin def. Eddie Edwards

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Eddie attempts a belly-to-belly suplex but Fulton fights it off and connects with a suplex of his own. Fulton overpowers Eddie, sending him over the top rope to the floor. Fulton catapults Eddie throat-first into the bottom rope. Eddie builds momentum with a huge dive through the ropes, sending Fulton crashing into the steel guardrail. Eddie gets the big man up for a thunderous Powerbomb. Eddie picks Fulton off the top with a Hurricanrana when Ace gets up on the apron. Eddie knocks him to the floor, followed by a jumping kick to Fulton. Edwards hits the Tiger Driver for a very close near fall. Fulton scores the pin and the win with a vicious swinging slam.

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – I liked this. Eddie carried Fulton through the hard parts and made him look tough. Everything built-up properly, with the focus on smaller moves and sound transitions in the beginning, to Eddie’s escalating feats of daring when he tried to conquer his foe. Eddie is quickly becoming the foundation of a good Impact show, as he keeps on giving these great, meaty performances. Now, they just need to take this lame punk rock gimmick that Eddie’s been saddled with and let him get back to being “Die Hard”. Oh, I look like a mutant potato when I wear a thong and this was a fine main event.

News Of The Night:

  1. Here are the matches for next week:
    TJP and Fallah Bahh vs. Reno Scum
    Kiera Hogan vs. Havok
    Moose vs. Crazzy Steve – TNA World Title Match
  2. D’Lo Brown is teasing bringing back the Aces N’ Eights.
  3. Jordynne Grace will fight Deonna Purrazzo for the Knockouts Title at Slammiversary.
  4. Ken Shamrock got ambushed by The North before he could fight Josh Alexander.
  5. Taya Valkyrie challenged Su Yung to come back after defeating Susie.
  6. The Joey Ryan six-man tag was cancelled, because he was fired for being a pervert.

Final Verdict: 3.2/5

The main event was quite good and the rest didn’t stop the train from rollin’ all night long, so this alright by me.

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