15th May2020

‘All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite’ Review (May 13th 2020)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and my ass looks like “On Golden Pond”. We’ve got some stuff from some people and some other stuff from some other people. Is that vague? I never wanted to be a cheerleader. Housekeeping? Who is this? I like wrestling.

Match #1: Best Friends (Chuck Taylor & Trent, with Orange Cassidy) defeated Jurassic Express (Jungle Boy & Luchasaurus with Marko Stunt)

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

“Due to inactivity and what is going on in the world, The Dark Order could be dropping down in the rankings,” observed Excalibur. Jungle Boy got Chuck in a beautiful side headlock takeover. Jungle Boy went for a single leg crab, Chuck escaped, but Jungle Boy countered with a rollup for a two-count. Trent and Luchasaurus both tagged in. Luchasaurus used his size to throw Trent into the turnbuckles after a collar and elbow lock up. Trent chopped back but it didn’t faze Luchasaurus. Trent almost got his head knocked clean off with a spinning kick “tail whip” from Luchasaurus! Jungle Boy was tagged in but Trent grabbed him and brutally back dropped Jungle Boy! Chuck Taylor assisted Trent, who tried to superplex Jungle Boy, but Jungle Boy dropkicked Trent off Chuckie’s shoulders! “Jurassic Express is firing on all cylinders here,” said Excalibur. Trent cut off Jungle Boy and then tried for a tope suicida onto Luchasaurus, but the massive masked dino-man caught him! Luchasaurus attempted the choke slam but Chuckie came to Trent’s aid and they gave him a thunderous suplex onto the ringside floor! As Trent and Chuckie were trying for their trademark hug, Jungle Boy jumped out of nowhere and crashed onto the Best Friends! Back in the ring, Trent speared Luchasaurus! Jungle Boy and Chuck Taylor were tagged in for their respective teams and traded strikes with one another. Taylor connected with a stiff knee but Jungle Boy countered with a lariat! Trent ran into the ring and blasted Jungle Boy with a flying knee strike! Luchasaurus entered the ring to even up the odds and knocked down Trent with the “question mark kick.” Orange Cassidy was firing up at the top of the ramp when Rey Fenix blindsided him, leveling him with a flying kick! While Trent chased after Rey Fenix (and with ref Aubrey Edwards trying to restore order), MJF jumped the ringside barrier and rammed Jungle Boy face-first into the steel post! Chuck Taylor spiked Jungle Boy with the awful waffle for the three-count victory!

My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – There’s some nice action here, but this never felt like a full-blown wrestling match. I loved Jungle Boy here, though. JB needs another World Title shot. I had a good time with this, even though it was a bit dull in parts.

Match #2: Hikaru Shida defeated Penelope Ford, Dr. Britt Baker and Kris Statlander – Fatal 4 Way Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Britt went right after Shida, driving Shida’s face into the canvass! Statlander and Shida delivered a double backbreaker to Dr. Britt Baker! Penelope Ford took down Statlander and Shida with a double cross body press! Shida and Statlander were back to their feet in no time. Britt, who clearly has a personal vendetta against Shida after Shida broke Britt’s nose a few weeks ago during a match, tried for the lockjaw submission. Shida stopped the application with a boot to Britt’s midsection. Britt avoided a suplex and lariat attempt by Shida and went around for the sling blade on Shida! Britt tried for lockjaw again but Statlander pried her off Shida before it was locked on. Statlander hoisted Britt onto her shoulders but Ford kicked Statlander and then Britt DDT’ed Statlander. Ford took advantage of the opportunity and covered Statlander for a two-count! “Baker’s got a mean streak, let me tell you,” said Jim Ross. “Yes she does, and now she’s turned her attention to Statlander,” added Schiavone. Dr. Britt Baker started grinding the sole of her boot into Statlander’s face! Shida jumped back into the ring and grabbed Britt. Shida whipped Baker into the steel guardrail on the outside. And inside the ring, Statlander planted Ford for a pinning attempt, which was broken up by Shida. Shida tried to bring Baker into the ring forcefully with a superplex, but Statlander stormed the corner and powerbombed Shida (who, in turn, brought Baker down with her force)! Penelope Ford ran to the other corner and climbed to the top turnbuckle. Statlander caught Ford and slammed her onto Baker! Then Shida hit a rising knee strike on Statlander! Statlander and Shida were slugging it out when Statlander got the better of Shida. Statlander was looking for the Big Bang Theory finisher when Britt Baker superkicked her from behind! Baker connected with a diving knee on Shida. Baker decimated Statlander with a Canadian Destroyer! Penelope Ford did a backhand spring into a cutter on Baker! Shida interrupted the pin count. Shida was looking for the Falcon Arrow but Ford bridged out of it and dropped Shida with a stunner! Baker ducked a lariat from Ford and used a corkscrew neck breaker on her! Shida suplexed Ford onto Statlander in the corner! While Penelope Ford and her fiancé Kip Sabian were making out on the ring apron, Shida rolled up Ford from behind for a two-count! Shida used the Falcon Arrow on Ford but Statlander broke up the pinning predicament that Ford was in. Statlander had Ford on her shoulders but Ford planted Statlander with a poison-rana! Ford tried for another handspring cutter but Shida caught her, smashing Ford over her knee! On the outside of the ring, Baker had Statlander tied up with the lockjaw! Shida pinned Ford after a running knee strike! “The Native Beast” Nyla Rose was standing ringside and held up her championship as the ref raised Shida’s arm.

My Opinion: 2.8 out of 5 – This was okay at best, with Shida and Statlander really standing out. The action was a bit of a mess, but a pleasing mess.

Match #3: Matt Hardy & Kenny Omega defeated Santana & Ortiz

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Santana and Ortiz jumped Omega as he was making his entrance! Matt Hardy (as the 3000-year-old vessel “Damascus”) walked onto the ramp, biting Santana! Hardy took the beating to Ortiz in the ring! Omega got to his feet and brought the fists and chops and elbows to Ortiz! Santana was tagged in but Kenny took Santana and Ortiz out with the Kotaro Crusher! Hardy was tagged in and he and Kenny cleaned house on Santana and Ortiz. Matt Hardy dropped his leg across Santana’s throat! Soon Santana and Ortiz began running roughshod on Omega. “They are just punishing Omega!” said Excalibur. A double northern lights suplex by Santana and Ortiz was good for a two-count on Omega! Kenny fought back against Ortiz with forearms, and then nailed him with the snapdragon suplex! Tags were made on both sides and Hardy took out his anger on Santana’s head, yelling “Delete!” each time he smashed Santana’s head into the turnbuckle pad! Hardy turned Santana inside out with a clothesline! “Look at Matt Hardy! Whichever version you want to say, he’s on fire,” added Jim Ross. Hardy planted Santana with the side effect for a near fall! “Santana is taking everything that Matt Hardy can dish out and still kicked out at two,” said JR. Hardy was flipped out of the ring and Santana went flying with a tope suicida onto Hardy! Santana and Ortiz were looking for the street sweeper finisher but Hardy fought out! Hardy tried the twist of fate finisher on Santana but Ortiz saved his partner at the two-count! Santana connected with a cutter on Kenny, and Ortiz followed thru with a John Woo-style shotgun dropkick! Santana and Ortiz were looking for the street sweeper again but Omega countered! Hardy was tagged in and placed a butterfly submission on Ortiz. Sammy Guevara, limping out from the back and wearing a neck brace, came to confront Hardy in the ring with a steel chair! Hardy smashed Guevara skull-first onto the chair with the twist of fate! Omega used the V-trigger on Ortiz and Hardy followed up, dropping him on his head for the pin!

My Opinion: 2.5 out of 5 – This went almost twenty minutes, but I just didn’t get any-thing out of it. These guys did try, but the match just felt like a lot of posturing and little more than that.

Match #4: MJF defeated Lee Johnson

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

MJF charged Johnson and tossed him across the ring with a suplex! MJF strutted and then put the boots to Johnson. He clubbed Lee with a clothesline. “He’s a big mouth, he’s a jerk, but he believes in himself, and there’s something to be said about wrestling with confidence,” noted Schiavone about MJF. Lee Johnson slapped MJF and this enraged MJF, who began kicking Lee in the ribs, and then powerbombed him on the ring apron! MJF used a shoulder breaker on Lee, and then forced him to tap out!

My Opinion: 1.9 out of 5 – This was a waste of MJF, who doesn’t need matches like this to get over, since he already is. I hate squashes.

Match #5: Chris Jericho (Jake Hager, Sammy Guevara, Santana and Ortiz) defeated Pineapple Pete/Suge D

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Jericho slapped Pete, and Pete went to town on Jericho! “Can we see a gigantic upset here?” wondered Jim Ross. Pineapple Pete had an impressive offensive flurry on Jericho, charging across the ring and splashing him with a flying elbow in the corner! Pete tried again but Jericho measured him up with the Judas Effect and pinned Pete!

My Opinion: 1.7 out of 5 – This was even shorter than the last squash. What a waste of both men. At least Suge D got to wrestle Jericho at all.

Match #6: (Main Event) Brodie Lee defeated Christopher Daniels

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Lee walked out wearing Jon Moxley’s AEW World Title and he demanded to be introduced by Dasha Gonzalez as the “AEW World Champion!” “Daniels has got to hit and run if he can,” said Jim Ross. Daniels was being cautious, moving around, but Brodie caught him under the jaw. CD went for a cross body but Brodie crushed him under his big frame! Brodie was jaw jacking with Kazarian on the outside of the ring when Daniels connected with a tope suicida! Daniels then took flight with an Arabian moonsault onto Brodie! Brodie pushed Daniels away and devastated Daniels with a big kick! Brodie used a giant backdrop on CD, then placed his boot on Daniels’ face! Brodie smashed Daniels with a sidewalk slam, but Daniels kicked out at two! Brodie superkicked Daniels. CD countered a back body drop with a DDT! Daniels took Brodie off his feet with a Frankensteiner! Daniels charged in with a running elbow strike. Daniels climbed to the top turnbuckle but 10 jumped up on the ring apron to get his attention. Kazarian and Sky pulled 10 down by the legs and took the boots to him! Brodie ran across the ring with a chair but Daniels got his foot up in time, knocking the chair out of Brodie’s grasp! As the referee was dealing with SCU and 10 on the outside, Daniels nailed Brodie in the head with the steel chair! Daniels put Brodie in the Koji Clutch submission! More followers of The Dark Order invaded the ring, but Kazarian, Scorpio Sky and Colt Cabana ran in to fend them off! They all brawled on the outside of the ring! Christopher Daniels flattened Brodie Lee with Angel’s Wings but Brodie kicked out at the 1-count! Daniels went for a second Angel’s Wings but Brodie blocked it! Daniels avoided Brodie and hit the Best Moonsault Ever! Brodie kicked out at the two-count! “I think Daniels is wrestling his best match since he got here in AEW,” noted Jim Ross. Daniels jumped off the top rope but Brodie countered with a powerbomb! He followed up with the discus lariat on Daniels for the victory!

My Opinion: 2.8 out of 5 – I wanted to like this, but I just couldn’t get into this. Daniels looked just fine here, but Lee had a rare off night. Now, there was nothing terrible with Lee, but nothing great either. It didn’t help that the momentum for this match had disappeared by the time this was booked, let alone the lack of promotion ahead of time. That all being said, when it gets down to it, the match was just brawling and Irish Whips with all the standard spots in a match that doesn’t stick to technical wrestling. I really tried to like this, but I just couldn’t.

News Of The Night:

  1. MJF is wrestling Marko Stunt, next week.
  2. The Inner Circle destroyed Vanguard-1.
  3. The Inner Circle challenged The Elite to a Stadium Stampede Match for Double Or Nothing.
  4. Jon Moxley beat the s— out of The Dark Order when he couldn’t get back the World Title that they stole.
  5. Taz and Darby Allin are being teased for some sort of teacher/student angle.
  6. Suge D likes the Pineapple Pete name and views it as a challenge.
  7. Cody Rhodes drove his truck to the ramp and brawled with Lance Archer.

Final Verdict: 2.4/5

I just couldn’t get into this show. There’s nothing here that is really important or interesting (the brawl was fun, I guess). This just felt like a TV episode that had some wrestling in it.

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