07th May2020

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (May 5th 2020)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and  we’re all still worried about COVID-19, so let’s b—- about wrestling.

Match #1: XXXL (Larry D & Acey Romero) def. oVe (Jake Crist & Madman Fulton) w/ Dave Crist

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Larry lifts Fulton over his shoulders and hits a powerslam. Larry does the same to Jake, the follows up with a running leg drop. Fulton drives Acey into the steel ring steps, gaining control for oVe. They exchange big shots in the middle of the ring. Acey builds momentum with a back body drop, followed by a Spinebuster. Larry dives through the ropes, colliding with Jake on the outside. oVe hits Larry with a double-team neckbreaker off the top but Acey breaks up the pin. Dave attempts to get involved on the apron but Larry knocks him to the floor with a right hand. Larry catches Jake with The Best Hand in the House to win.

My Opinion: 2.8 out of 5 – This was okay, but not very exciting. Anyway, this match had the wrong team win, simply because oVe needs a win to not look so stupid, unless the oVe matches will get booked to be more intense.

Match #2: Suicide def. Johnny Swinger

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Swinger rakes the eyes but it has no effect due to Suicide’s mask. Suicide hits a crossbody over the top to the floor. Swinger hits a powerful back body drop for two. Suicide counters a swinging neckbreaker into the Codebreaker. Suicide connects with a Swanton off the top to win.

My Opinion: 2 out of 5 – Suicide won a lousy match with a good performance from Suicide…but nobody died.

Match #3: Joseph P. Ryan def. Cousin Jake

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Ryan starts a game of cat and mouse, baiting Jake into a series of shots. Jake quickly gains control, sending Ryan to the outside for a breather. Jake hits a strong clothesline. Ryan connects with a big dropkick but it doesn’t have much effect. Jake sends Ryan crashing into the mat with a powerslam. Jake hits a massive sit-down powerbomb for two. Jake hits the ropes but Ryan cuts him off with a superkick, the former Sweet Tooth Music. Ryan uses the referee as a shield and rolls up Jake with a hold of the tights to steal the victory.

My Opinion: 1.7 out of 5 – This was s—. The wrestling was slow and dull, with Ryan looking far too removed from his true potential…like crushing people with his crotch.

Match #4: The North def. The Creeps – Impact World Tag Team Titles Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

We head to the Don Kolov Arena in Toronto, Canada where The North are set to defend their Tag Team Championships against opponents they picked themselves. They supposedly scouted all across Canada for the toughest competition they could find. When their opponents come out, that’s obviously not the case. The North will defend the IMPACT Tag Team Championships against – The Creeps. They make quick work of their undeserving opponents before signing off.

My Opinion: 1 out of 5 – This was like watching those Crash Test Dummies videos from the 1990s, except those were kinda cool…kinda. I think this was supposed to be funny, but I just wanted this minute-long squash match to end. Oh, this is one of those cinematic wrestling matches, so mother-f——. Salad is for chumps and BLAME CANADA…

Match #5: (Main Event) Willie Mack def. Ace Austin & Chris Bey – Impact X-Division Championship Match

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Ace jump-starts the match by grabbing the X-Division Title belt from the referee. He swings and misses as Willie ducks his attack. Willie hits Ace with a Hurricanrana, followed by a double clothesline to both of his opponents. Willie is on fire, connecting with a double Samoan Drop and Moonsault. Ace dropkicks Willie off the apron, allowing him to continue his assault on Bey. Ace hits a leg drop from ethe second rope for two. Willie connects with an Exploder Suplex to Bey. Willie and Ace are jockeying for position in the corner when Bey sends them both crashing to the mat. Willie hits Bey with the Stunner. Willie is about go for the Six-Star Frog Splash but Ace sends him flying with head scissors from the top. Ace hits Willie with The Fold but Bey breaks up the pin. Ace hits another Fold on Bey but this time, Willie breaks it up. Willie connects with the Six-Star Frog Splash on Ace to win.

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was pretty damn good in the long run. As Triple Threats go, this was on the better side of those, with some action that had suspense in the closing stretch and wrestling that got every-body over. Bey held his own with the former champ and the current one and even got the chance to shine as a star in the making. There’s some great moves in here that helped sell this long prize fight as a big event. I liked this and I’m glad about the results.

News Of The Night:

  1. A tournament has been set to determine the next contender to the Impact World Title.
  2. Moose claims he is the TNA World Champion after beating several TNA originals.
  3. Rosemary is hearing s—.

Final Verdict: 2.7/5

The main event got this a .7 added to the 2, so they ought to book more matches like the main event so the show will be better.


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