Friday Night Smackdown – April 17th 2020: Results & Review

Welcome to this week’s Friday Night SmackDown review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have Daniel Bryan fighting Cesar…f— it…Bryan Danielson versus Claudio Castagnoli. Still feels good to call ‘em by their actual wrestling names once in a while. We have a singles title deciding the fate of the SmackDown Tag Titles…again. Is Vince Russo booking s— again, or is the stupid just contagious? Bro, it’s just wrestling, bro! Yo, bro, let’s start the show, bro! Oh no…I’ve got the stupid…the stupid is the madness…I’ve got the madness…I’VE GOT CABIN FEVER!!!!! I’VE GOT IT TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! CABIN FEVERRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Match #1: Tamina def. Sasha Banks

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

A well-timed intervention from Lacey Evans helped Tamina overcome Sasha Banks and earn a SmackDown Women’s Championship opportunity against Bayley.

My Opinion: 2.3 out of 5 – While not much of a match, Banks gave a good performance and Tamina did her part well enough.

Match #2: Sheamus def. Denzel Dejournette

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The Celtic Warrior brutally dispatched of Denzel Dejournette and then took exception with Michael Cole’s continued acknowledgement of Jeff Hardy.

My Opinion: 1.7 out of 5 – Denzel should have won the damn squash match! Denzel wins all the awards! The Mighty Quinn…Antwone Fisher…The Bone Collector…Fallen…Virtuosity…Glory…Cry Freedom…Crimson Tide…Training Day…DENZELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!

Match #3: Dana Brooke def. Naomi – WWE Money In The Bank Qualifying Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Dana Brooke scored one of the biggest wins of her career by defeating Naomi and punching a ticket to the Women’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match.

My Opinion: 2.1 out of 5 – Beavis And Butt-Head Do America kicks ass in Spanish. Habla de la Cornholio! Dana and Naomi never had the chance to do more than just hit some moves on each other, which is a shame considering that these two are getting better at wrestling.

Match #4: Daniel Bryan def. Cesaro – WWE Money In The Bank Qualifying Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

In a matchup of super grapplers, Daniel Bryan outlasted an exceptional effort from Cesaro to secure his spot in the Men’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match.

My Opinion: 3.8 out of 5 – This was good s—. Getting almost fifteen minutes, these two didn’t skimp on the wrestling just because there was no live crowd to look at. I keep seeing people b—- about these crowdless shows, but I like the “men from the boys” effect this has had on the wrestlers. Perhaps we’ll see more of an attempt by wrestlers to do what Bryan and Cesaro did here, which is just to wrestle without inhibition (ie: don’t need a f—— crowd to tell you if you are any good).

Match #5: (Main Event) Big E def. The Miz and Jey Uso – SmackDown Tag Team Championship Triple Threat Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After being slammed through the announce table earlier in the match, Big E was able to regroup and bring the SmackDown Tag Team titles home for The New Day.

My Opinion: 2.8 out of 5 – The moves here were nice, but the match never really came together. E winning was a surprise, but not that much of a surprise. Why is a singles match still being contested for a team belt? I know I don’t need to put hot sauce on a chili pepper, but this match is yet another example of why the WWE can’t do anything but sell merchandise, because what lies beneath the veneer of this league rarely makes any sense. Well, The New Day are the champs again…cool.

News Of The Night:

1. If I’m understanding this correctly, the Money In The Bank matches will be cinematic brawls where the wrestlers fight to the top of Titan Towers and get the briefcase from the roof.
2. This show was dedicated to the late, great Howard Finkel.
3. Braun Strowman fights Bray Wyatt for the Universal Title at MITB.
4. Bray taunted Braun with the latter’s old Wyatt Family mask.
5. Lacey Evans cut a strong promo on whoopin’ Sasha Banks’s ass.
6. Sheamus is still hating Jeff Hardy, who had another video about his life played on the show.
7. The hacker says that they will show us the truth.
8. Carmella and Dana Brooke have their Women’s Tag Title match, next week.
9. Triple H is having his 25th Anniversary Celebration, next week.
10. Sonya Deville revealed she hates Mandy Rose for being selfish, which was personified by Mandy trying to date Otis instead of pursuing a Women’s Tag Title match at Wrestlemania 36.
11. Baron Corbin attacked Elias.
12. There will be two MITB qualifiers next week:
    Drew Gulak vs. Baron Corbin
    Sasha Banks vs. Lacey Evans

Final Verdict: 2.9/5

The Bryan/Cesaro match was worth the time, but everything else just felt like a false start (the promos did nicely though, in their way).