‘All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite’ Review (April 8th 2020)

Welcome to this week’s All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have some good matches here to watch, let’s Fellini this f—– ‘til it 8 ½’s my La Dolce Vita.

Match #1: Lance Archer def. Alan Angels

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

The Murderhawk Monster began right away mauling the competition. Archer gave Angels an overhand suplex from a chokeslam position! “I’ve never seen anything like that before, Tony!” said Jericho. “Archer will face Colt Cabana in the first round of the tournament coming up,” added Tony. Lance Archer finished up with a running elbow and then “the Blackout” for the three-count! “He blacks out another one, decimating Alan Angels,” said Tony. “Lance Archer dominates tonight!” concluded Jericho.

My Opinion: 1.9 out of 5 – There’s a move that happened at the beginning that was really cool, but the match itself was a squash, so it sucked.

Match #2: Hikaru Shida def. Britt Baker

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Baker ducked out of the way from Shida. They got into a shoving match, but Baker pulled Shida’s hair. Shida fought back with forearm strikes. Baker took out Shida’s educated feet, and began pulling Shida’s hair again. Shida had enough and started pulling Baker’s hair. Baker gave a high knee lift to Shida and almost scored an early victory. Shida kicked out at two! Baker was throwing hard punches to Shida’s face! Baker stretched Shida over the ropes, pulling back on her arms. Baker and Shida started brawling on the outside. Baker was draped over the steel barricade and Shida delivered a running knee! Shida almost got the win with a vertical suplex on Baker. Shida rolled up Baker with a triangle choke/armbreaker combo, but Baker was able to grab a rope to cause the ref to break the hold. Baker countered with a sling blade and then a butterfly suplex for a near fall! “These two ladies have turned it on!” said Tony. Baker used a side leg sweep and tried for the mandible claw, but this time Shida grabbed a rope! The two slugged it out in the center of the ring and then traded thrust kicks. Baker was bleeding from the nose. “She might have a busted nose,” observed Jericho. Shida hit the Tiger Driver on Baker! Baker countered by rolling up Shida for a two-count! Baker trapped Shida and asked the ref for a rubber glove before she applied the mandible claw. Shida capitalized on the momentary delay and blasted Baker with a running knee to the bloodied nose! “These girls are pounding the hell out of each other,” said Tony. Shida deadlifted Baker on the turnbuckles and dropped her straight down! Shida finished Baker with a giant running knee for the three-count! “We have seen a battle!” said Tony.

My Opinion: 3.8 out of 5 – This was pretty damn bloody (it happens), but that wasn’t what made the match great. Hi, I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such films as “Where’s The Money, S—-Bag?” and “Daddy, Not In The Face!”. Shida’s roll of momentum just keeps thundering, doesn’t it? I’m glad there has been a commitment to such a strong fighter, as opposed to just picking a pretty face that may (may not), be able to wrestle. This was the kind of match you could use to get the wrinkles out of your clothes with. Baker was excellent here, by the way. There wasn’t a thing here I didn’t like. I can’t believe it’s not butter!

Match #3: Best Friends (Chuck Taylor & Trent Baretta) (with Orange Cassidy) def. Kenny Omega & Michael Nakazawa – Winner Becomes The Best Friends Of AEW

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Shawn Spears was sitting in the front row and yelled to Michael Nakazawa to impress him, because Spears is still looking for a tag-team partner. Omega and Taylor squared off first for their respective teams. Taylor took down Omega with two quick arm drags a la Ricky Steamboat. Trent was tagged in and came down with a double-ax handle onto Kenny’s arm. Nakazawa poured baby oil down his chest. Trent tried to chop him, but he kept slipping off. Omega and Nakazawa showed off some tremendous tag-team strategies, working over Trent in the corner. “This is part of Kenny Omega’s brilliance. He has many different styles,” said Le Champion. The Best Friends showed off tandem offense of their own with twin topes. Orange Cassidy entered the ring and was able to distract Omega and Nakazawa for The Best Friends. Nakazawa squirted baby oil into Orange’s eyes, but Orange’s sunglasses protected him. Orange jumped onto Omega on the outside! Omega connected with a backstabber and then the snapdragon suplex on Trent! Omega went after Chuckie T., but Trent stopped Omega with a running boot. Chuck planted Omega with a powerbomb, but Michael Nakazawa stopped the count short with interference. Nakazawa put the Ultimate Venom Arm on Trent! He tried again and inadvertently connected with partner Kenny Omega! Trent gave Michael Nakazawa a nasty piledriver, and then The Best Friends spiked him with their combo for the three count! Both teams gave a big group hug of friendship after the match.

My Opinion: 3.6 out of 5 – This was a lively sort of thing that kept the pace up from bell to bell. I won’t go so far as to say that it was relentless, but this match didn’t stop for a nap, if you catch my drift. Nakazawa finally had a chance to impress and did so in spades. The antics of OC never got in the way of the match itself and also left the door open for every-body else to cut loose once in a while. Not bad and not too shabby, that’s what I can say of this match and do so whole-heartedly.

Match #4: Brodie Lee def. Lee Johnson

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Lee Johnson tried for a dropkick as the bell rang, but he was swatted away by The Exalted One! Mr. Brodie used a senton on his opponent, and then a spinning slam! He followed up with a spinning discus lariat, making short work of Lee Johnson!

My Opinion: 1.7 out of 5 – Lee beat Lee…WHAT?! I’m goin’ f—–‘ crazy here. Lee versus Lee? Carla, go upstairs! I need the gun! Terrible things are happening! Why would a man fight himself, in a squash no less? STOP HITTING YOURSELF! STOP HITTING YOURSELF! STOP HITTING YOURSELF! What in the name of Vincent Gardenia is a’goin’ here?! You did it, you maniacs! You blew it up! G—damn you! G—damn you all to HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!

Match #5: (Main Event) Cody Rhodes def. Shawn Spears – TNT Championship Tournament Quarter Final Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

The two locked horns and Cody took down Spears with a headlock. Spears grappled his way out from Cody’s grip. Spears lifted a knee to Cody’s midsection and lit him up with chops! Cody took down Spears again, this time with a leg sweep. Spears rolled to the outside to buy some time. Cody used the ropes to springboard into a cutter for a two-count on Spears! Cody worked over Spears arm, but Spears rolled Cody up for a near fall. Cody knocked Spears into the corner with stiff forearm shots. Spears kicked out of multiple pinning attempts by Cody. Spears rolled out of the way of a moonsault and then planted Cody with a piledriver! Spears whipped Cody into the turnbuckles. Cody rolled to the outside and Spears followed him. Spears disassembled one of the guardrails and propped it against the side of the ring. Spears suplexed Cody down onto the metal guardrail! Back in the ring, Spears scoop slammed Cody. Spears went for a springboard splash but Cody lifted up his knees just in time! Cody started a comeback with knees and a big powerslam! Cody missed “Beautiful Disaster” and Spears countered for a two-count! Spears slid a table from underneath the ring, but Cody knocked him down with a running dive! Cody climbed to the top rope but Spears met him there and launched him onto the mat! Spears countered the Cross Rhodes and went for his C4, and instead he flung Cody over the top rope, sending him crashing down through the table! Cody managed to get back to the ring before ref Aubrey Edwards counted to 10! Spears tried for the C4 again but Cody countered with not one, but two Cross Rhodes! Spears kicked out at two! Cody applied the figure four leglock onto Spears! Cody shifted his body weight, never letting go of the figure four, and the ref counted Spears shoulder down for the three-count victory! “The American Nightmare” Cody advances to the next round of the tournament!

My Opinion: 3.7 out of 5 – This turned out quite well for the main event. The two of these guys have a lot of chemistry together, so much so that I think abandoning the feud between the two so early into AEW’s run was a mistake that this match just rectified. As hard-hitting as anything else in recent memory, the match that Cody and Shawn competed in felt like a major bout because of how brutal it felt. There are moments that will make your stomach crack, less for graphic violence and more for implied pain. Cody did well in victory as did Shawn in defeat and that’s a triumph in my book. I need to stop huffing paint while I write this s—.

News Of The Night:

1. Chris Jericho wants to fight Matt Hardy in an Elite Deletion Match.
2. Jake Hager challenges the champ Jon Moxley for the AEW World Championship in an Empty Arena No Holds Barred Match, next week.
3. Jake Roberts cut another great promo Cody Rhodes.

Final Verdict: 3.7/5

The show wasn’t always as vibrant as the review might indicate, but the wrestling, by and large, was quite good and made for an easy night of wrestling action.