‘All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite’ Review (April 1st 2020)
Welcome to this week’s AEW: Dynamite review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have a couple of big matches and Lance Archer’s debut for AEW, so don’t miss a great one…APRIL FOOLS! Vince bought out the whole league…we’re f—–! APRIL FOOLS! Muffy and Buffy are the same chick and she is running a murder mystery business and she practiced the whole thing by pretending to kill her friends! APRIL FOOLS DAY…was a good movie. Did you know that they cut the third act out? Darren McGavin was the real killer…APRIL FOOLS! Dynamite begins…APRIL FO…wait, it is starting.
Match #1: Kenny Omega defeated TRENT
The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:
Cody noted that TRENT is a 16-year pro in the wrestling ring. Kenny and Trent chain-wrestled early on in the matchup. They traded forearms and then Kenny began stomping on Trent. “Kenny is an absolute mauler of a striker,” said Cody. Kenny ran into the corner where TRENT put the double-stomp on him, and then pulled off a moonsault to the outside. Kenny retaliated with a tope con giro to The Best Friends. Kenny followed up with a Bret Hart-style backbreaker on TRENT. “He smells blood here,” said Cody. Kenny went for the pin attempt after three consecutive backbreakers. Kenny continued to work over TRENT’S back, throwing him hard into the turnbuckle. TRENT stomped on Kenny’s hand out of desperation. He dropped a knee along Kenny’s jaw, and then took him over with a snapmare. Trent dropped sledgehammer fists on Kenny, who rolled out of the ring to buy some time. Kenny blasted TRENT with a deadlift German suplex on the outside floor! He then threw TRENT into the ringside barrier. “This is a donnybrook!” said Tony Schiavone. Kenny caught TRENT and spiked him spine-first into a post on the outside of the ring! TRENT grabbed Kenny with a tornado DDT, a la Jerry Lynn! TRENT was still alive in this match! TRENT followed up with a baseball slide snap German suplex to Kenny! “These guys have entered the fourth quarter here,” said Cody. Kenny nailed TRENT with a half-nelson suplex and a knee! TRENT fought back but missed a running knee strike of his own. Kenny countered with a quick snapdragon suplex. TRENT threw heavy back elbows and a lariat to Kenny! “The Cleaner” came back with a V-trigger! With two minutes left, TRENT suplexed Kenny off the top rope, and almost got the three count with a running knee! Kenny battled back with a knee strike and with barely a minute remaining, Kenny pulled out the victory with the One-Winged Angel! In a show of mutual respect, Kenny and TRENT shook hands when the match concluded.
My Opinion: 4 out of 5 – This was a strong, hard-hitting match that had good psychology and made my balls hurt. There’s a power-bomb here that will make you feel like Mr. Burns shoved up Smithers’s ass. Kenny and TRENT are a natural pairing that should get more time together in the near future. Going nearly twenty minutes, I’m more than happy with the opener.
Match #2: Hikaru Shida defeated Anna Jayy
The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:
Shida took down Jayy with a shoulder block, but Jayy countered with a running knee. Shida gave a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to Jayy. Shida gave a running knee to Jayy, while Dr. Britt Baker was on the outside of the ring advising Shida not to approach her. “Don’t come any closer!” said Baker. Shida knocked down Jayy with an ultra stiff forearm! Shida blocked Jayy’s attempt at a knee strike. Jayy rolled up Shida with a schoolgirl pinning attempt, but Shida countered with a submission. Jayy escaped by clutching the bottom rope! Shida won after planting Jayy on her head!
My Opinion: 2.5 out of 5 – This was a couple of minutes of wrestling that was fine, but not a lot in terms of replay value. Both women looked good here, but the match wasn’t enough to recommend.
Match #3: Lance Archer defeated Marko Stunt
The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:
Archer knocked Marko down with a lariat before the bell rang. He chopped at Marko and yelled threats over to Colt Cabana. Archer invited Marko to give him his best shot. Marko threw some fists at Archer and “The Murderhawk Monster” shrugged them off! “He is laying waste to Marko Stunt,” said Tony Schiavone. Archer ran right into Stunt, who ricocheted out of the ring. Archer pulled Marko back in and choke slammed him. Archer won decisively with his finisher, the Blackout! Archer picked up Marko and launched him out of the ring, over the barricade, crashing onto the Gunn Club and Orange Cassidy. “I’ve never seen a wrestler handled like that ever!” said Tony Schiavone. “Lance Archer made a statement in his debut tonight,” added Cabana.
My Opinion: 2.2 out of 5 – This was a standard squash that made Stunt look weak and Archer look strong, so it accomplished some-thing, but not some-thing worth remembering.
Match #4: The Natural Nightmares (Dustin Rhodes & QT Marshall) defeated The Dark Order (#8 &# 9)
The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:
QT slapped one of the members of The Dark Order and tagged in Dustin. The Natural Nightmares utilized quick tags to work over #8 and #9 of The Dark Order. Dustin picked up one of the minions and threw him hard onto the mat. #8 and #9 were having their way with QT Marshall. Dustin got the tag and clotheslined the minions and followed through with a bulldog. Dustin powerslammed #9. The Natural Nightmares worked like a well-oiled machine and got a great win over Mr. Brodie’s minions from The Dark Order!
My Opinion: 2.1 out of 5 – This was a match that was practically designed to be skipped. Dustin looked good, but the rest just felt like a P.O.O.M.
Match #5: (Main Event) Sammy Guevara & Shawn Spears defeated Cody Rhodes & Darby Allin
The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:
These four men will be in the first half of the TNT Championship Tournament Bracket! Darby and Sammy started for their respective teams, but Sammy quickly tagged out to Spears. Cody was tagged in after Spears demanded for him. Spears snatched a side headlock on Cody. A big pump kick took Spears down, and then Cody tagged in Darby. Sammy entered the ring and was vlogging for his YouTube channel. Sammy found himself distracted by Brandi at ringside, and Darby capitalized, knocking the “Spanish God” into the guardrail! In the ring, Darby rolled up Shawn Spears but Sammy kneed Darby to break the count! Sammy snap suplexed Darby for a two-count. Sammy wrenched Darby in a headlock, and then jumped onto him with a double stomp! “There’s so much fight in Darby Allin. It’s gonna take a lot,” said Colt Cabana. Sammy and Spears were placing bets on the match while it was taking place! And while this was happening, Darby pulled out a vertical suplex on Spears! Darby tagged in Cody, who scoop slammed Sammy G! Cody followed up with a springboard cutter on Sammy for a two-count! Cody applied a sharpshooter onto Sammy, and then a figure four onto Shawn Spears! Sammy attempted a cutter, but Cody caught him with the Cross-Rhodes! Cody and Spears traded fists and chops in the center of the ring. Cody came off the top with a moonsault onto Spears, possibly injuring his knee upon landing. Darby got the hot tag and cleaned house, hitting a Coffin Drop onto Spears and Sammy! Darby jumped through the ropes to the outside but Spears caught him and chucked him into the steel barricade! Sammy took flight with a missile dropkick onto Darby. Spears connected with a C4 onto Cody on the inside of the ring. Cody rolled out of the ring, but Spears and Sammy double-teamed him. Darby climbed a pole in the venue and from great heights hit the Coffin Drop! Cody took down Sammy with a reverse suplex, but Spears was ready and splashed down on Cody. Spears pulled out a chair to use on Cody, but Darby made the save, and in doing so, was rolled up and pinned by Spears.
My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was an example of taking a long time to not do a great deal, while doing a lot to accomplish barely any-thing. The match was good and it was long, but it wasn’t exciting….mostly. Darby Allin was like a mini-Sting here and he ought to be crowned the World Champion very soon. Hey, strike while the iron’s hot. Every-body here did well, but it was Allin that served as the pulse of the heart here. This should have been in the middle of the card to give way to a more polarizing main event, but this did the job and was a worthy twenty minutes.
News Of The Night:
- The AEW TNT Championship tournament has revealed its initial bouts:
Cody Rhodes versus Shawn Spears
Darby Allin versus Sammy Guevara
Dustin Rhodes versus Kip Sabian
Lance Archer versus Colt Cabana - Jake Hager fights Jon Moxley in an Empty Arena No Holds Barred Match for the AEW World Championship in two weeks.
- Chris Jericho was funny in a bad promo that saw him try to recruit Matt Hardy’s drone (stupid s—).
- Brodie Lee did his Vince McMahon impression to belittle the Dark Order minions some more.
- Darby Allin attacked Cody Rhodes out of frustration.
Final Verdict: 3.3/5
The beginning and end was good, but the middle was a waste of time.
