30th Mar2020

‘NXT UK’ Review (March 26th 2020)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s NXT UK review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel, your friendly- neighborhood black chick with a heart of “F— you honky!” Hey, it’s coronavirus season, with one strain getting more attention than the others because it’s new and has a good PR agent. We’ve got a prize fight for the main event, so don’t forget to bring a towel…to smoke some pot with. Also, I’ve bought a new shrink-ray that is a bit touchy, but when I get it to work I’ll… damn it! It shrunk me! This is bull-s—! Wait…why did it shrink the words? It shrunk me, not the computer. S—!


Match #1: Marcel Barthel & Fabian Aichner def. Ashton Smith & Oliver Carter

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Imperium continued to reign in NXT UK’s opening matchup, as Marcel Barthel & Fabian Aichner withstood the innovative offense of Ashton Smith & Oliver Carter and hit the European Bomb for another sacred victory.

My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – This was a solid ol’ hunk of some-thin’. I wouldn’t call this the big damn deal, but there is some good wrestling here and there in this chipmunk among NAMBLA (North American Marlon Brando Look-Alike Association). Not too shabby when the chips are down is the way to describe this bout of clever offense from the challengers and meat-and-potato buffet of the victors.

Match #2: Aoife Valkyrie def. Nina Samuels

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Aoife Valkyrie continued to show her warrior’s spirit when she responded to Nina Samuels’ disrespectful slap with a spinning heel kick, which paved the way for the leg drop to the back of her opponent’s head off the top rope for another impressive win.

My Opinion: 2.3 out of 5 – Valkyrie and Nina tried, but this never got going. Nobody was terrible here, but the match itself just didn’t get up-and-running. Hey, it happens.

Match #3: Noam Dar def. A-Kid

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

After delivering a low blow to A-Kid, Noam Dar secured the three-count over the up-and-coming Spanish Superstar with a Nova Roller. Then, in the aftermath, The Scottish Supernova took a moment to ridicule the entire field of next week’s 20-Man Over the Top Battle Royal.

My Opinion: 3.4 out of 5 – This was fine stuff, like a baby wrapped in elbow pasta. Dar fought A-Kid…what?! Dar beat the s— out of a kid?! That sick f—! What am I?! I should not be encouraging this madness! Doth hath wroth so low of intent upon such troubled a mind?! Marshall the might of the old king’s throne and summon its legion, for the one known as Noam Dar shall meet his end thusly! We sh…AAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! (man falls down steps) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! (man hits ground) Damn it! I…aw screw it. Y’know, now that I look at this, Dar is just fighting an adult named A-Kid. Hmm…oh well. Any-way, this was a six or so minute exhibition of pure talent and that’s just lovely. Y’know what’s not lovely? …the damn TalkTech recording me as I fell down the steps… (man falling down hill) AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Match #4: (Main Event) Jordan Devlin def. Travis Banks – NXT Cruiserweight Championship Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

In the final moments of a jaw-dropping NXT Cruiserweight Championship Match, Jordan Devin countered longtime adversary Travis Banks’ Kiwi Cruiser attempt and rolled him up, using the ropes to get the three-count and conquering The Kiwi Buzzsaw.

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was a strong main event that gave Devlin another brisk yet lengthy title defense against a worthy challenger. Devlin’s been a solid champion for the belt so far and I’d bet that he gets to wrestle more great athletes like Banks, thanks to the quality of this match. That was a long sentence. Here’s a short one: A! You can expect to see some fantastic wrestling in here, with kicks and counters galore. Yeah, that’s right…GALORE! Over-all, this was a fine way to end the show.

Final Verdict: 3.4/5

The last two matches saved the show.


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