12th Feb2020

‘NWA: Powerrr’ Review (Feb 4th & 11th 2020)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this double-sized edition of our NWA: Powerrr review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and I missed last week’s NWA: Powerrr and AEW Dark reviews, so we’ll have two double-sized reviews this to cover for that failing of mine. I’ve had a screwy few weeks, but I’ve (mostly) kept it together, apart from these two reviews not getting done. Okay, lets cover two weeks of NWA: Powerrr, right now.

nwa-powerrr-logo

FEBRUARY 4th 2020

Match #1: Matt Cross defeated Caleb Konley

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was a fabulous five minutes that really delivered some of the best wrestling you could get from so short a window of time. These two guys are too damn good to not get more than just a few minutes to work with. Trust me, you’ll like this s—.

Match #2: Aron Stevens vs. Trevor Murdoch – NWA National Title Match (Draw)

My Opinion: 2.5 out of 5 – This had a lot of bull-s— in it, but there was a good match in here, some-where. I hate this karate gimmick of Aron’s, because it’s making his matches worse. Murdoch, who has never been the best at any-thing, is actually out-performing one of wrestling’s most interesting performers in Aron. Title matches should never feel like filler, but this match did, because the wrestling was always secondary.

Match #3: Eli Drake & James Strom defeated Jocefus & Mims

My Opinion: 1.8 out of 5 – This was far too short and too lame to be good.

Match #4: (Main Event) Thunder Rosa defeated Allysin Kay – NWA Women’s Title Match

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was a lot of fun from two fantastic wrestlers. It coulda been longer and it coulda been promoted more, but this was a hit and proof that the women can go just as well as the men. Rosa has really picked up steam as a star and this match won’t stop that momentum. There lots of hard-hitting, bone-crunching action here th…I sound like a dip-s— writing that. You wanna get my opinion? Here’s the damn opinion: Thelma and Louise in spandex blew the tank while playing crotch- hockey with Brad Pitt. Hey, it’s me. Why the f— would you think I’d start making sense now? I look like Ally Sheedy stuffed up Matthew Broderick’s ass after he ran that one chick over. Manslaughter! Okay, calm down. That’s also how Jennifer Grey’s nose got smaller…they ran it over and clipped off the dangly part. Anyway, now that the important business is out of the way, I’ll just say that this is the right kind of match for Powerrr (what’s with the extra Rs), because having Aron Stevens pretend to be the Karate Kid ain’t putting asses in seats.

Final Verdict: 3.3/5

This started and ended well, but the middle made me feel like I was at McDonald’s watching the cook making hamburgers out of eraser shavings and dead babies…Billion Dollar Dead Babies…’cuz I’ve got you Under My Wheel! Okay, Seacrest out.
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FEBRUARY 11th 2020

Match #1: The Bouncers defeated The Dawsons

My Opinion: 2 out of 5 – Oh God! They’re here too?! F—!!!!!!!!! Run!!!!!!!! I can’t take this s—! How many bad matches do I have to see from The Bouncers?! Who did I piss off to get stuck with these fat-asses?! Stop trying to piss me off! Do you know how many pairs of tits there are between these four fat-asses? Okay, in all seriousness…Weight Watchers. Do it, fat-ass! Okay, okay…these guys are decent wrestlers, but this just didn’t work. Their size is not a reason to hate their matches, but the predictable action is. There are so many great athletes of all sizes and genders out there. Why are we focusing on two teams that are not as talented as many others? Also, I saw a lot of moo-cows here, but no milk! Okay, okay, I’ll be good. Besides, I’m a fat-ass too…kinda…a little…a lot…but if I tuck my crotch in…it got worse.

Match #2: Tom Lattimer defeated Tim Storm

My Opinion: 2.8 out of 5 – Storm lost?! F— you! Lattimer sucks ass! I hate that shrimp-d— p—–ass sum-b—-! Okay, I’ll be good. Actually, this was a fun little fight that had Tootsie Roll toes and a Lollipop nose and what the f— am I talking about?! Lattimer sounds like construction equipment. Home Depot kicked my ass, your honor. I want half its s—! This match was the Doobie Brothers of matches, in that I have no idea what to say because I don’t actually watch these matches and I just copy other reviews. Hey, Dave Meltzer says the same ridiculous stuff that I do. Over-all, Storm was a good guy for losing to Lattimer, because Storm is the bigger name and more proven act of the two, but being in his fifties, it’s time for him to pass that buck along to another wallet.

Match #3: Ricky Starks vs. Matt Cross – NWA TV Title Match (Draw)

My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – This was a lot of fun, but it was missing some-thing, like another ten minutes. Why was this so f—— short (like Morris Albert’s dinky after he sings “Feelings”)? It’s a title match! What, can’t spring for an extra minute or two for a prize fight? Hey, this ain’t Donald Cerrone fighting Conor McGregor…it can go more than five seconds. Like Barry Manilow bare-ass naked with a woman, this was fun, but what the hell am I supposed to do with this besides pray she grows a dork?

Match #4: Melina defeated Tasha Steelz

My Opinion: 2.1 out of 5 – This was less bad than just boring. Hey, some-times these matches just don’t go any-where and that was the case here. I’m glad Melina is back though. It’s good to see her back in the swing of things. Steelz couldn’t afford an “s”, so she stole a “z” from Zoltan. ZOLTAN!

Match #5: (Main Event) Nick Aldis & Royce Isaacs defeated The Rock ‘N Roll Express

My Opinion: 2.7 out of 5 – In the Navy! You could check out other men! In the Navy! You can stare at their ass! In the Navy! Don’t let them see you peeping that Tom! In the Navy! In the Navy! Now that we’ve all confirmed our masculinity, we can get down to the business of pissing on old men. Gordon Lightfoot once said, “I can see her lying back in her satin dress.” After being arrested for stalking, Gordon also said, “Nick Aldis is a p—.” I don’t agree, but I will say that he does leave some-thing to be desired as the World Champion. I like him, but he feels more like a mid-carder with the ability to join in the main event shenanigans from time to time. The fact is that the RNRE are the big draw here, despite wrestling as fast as a rice cake in a blender. Hey, that wasn’t funny. How about a Democrat running for American President in 2020? That’s pithy… pithy, pithy, pithy, pithy lousy for a joke, but I’m a terrible front-man for Boston. I killed the band for fun. Plus, Tom Brady is a punk! I took out Kansas too! “Dust In The Wind” my ass! As far as this match goes, this is more of a story match…so bad, but fun. Is it wrong that this match makes me wanna see Aldis get smothered to death by the Indian from “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest”? Me can’t’em see’em like’em this! Chanco choke Jack Nicholson until him-em fart-face go out like Tom Selleck to homo club. Any-way, while I can remember what is going on here, this match was a chore, because it was all about furthering a story, rather than giving some-thing good here and now.

Final Verdict: 2.3/5

Next week, this show is on hiatus for a new show to debut called Circle Squared. Well, after this lame episode, maybe a week off ain’t a bad idea.

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