06th Feb2020

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (Feb 4th 2020)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have a really great match on here and some stupid Su Yung stuff. You’ll know the match when you see it and the Su Yung stuff when it gives you a tumor. Also, Booker T sent us another message: Women can’t wrestle fo’ s—————-! What a consistent man. Isn’t he consistent?

impact-wrestling-header

Match #1: Tessa Blanchard def. Adam Thornstowe w/ Luster the Legend & Ace Austin

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Luster gets up on the apron. Thornstowe charges at Tessa but she sidesteps, causing him to knock his own partner to the floor. Tessa hits a Tilt-A-Whirl Head Scissors. Tessa attempts a dive on Luster but he catches her in mid-air and slams her into the apron. Thornstowe attempts a standing Moonsault but Tessa avoids it to start building momentum. Tessa connects with two dives to Thornstowe, followed by a top rope Senton onto Ace and Luster outside the ring. Tessa hits the Cutter for a near fall. Tessa hits the Buzzsaw to pick up the victory.

My Opinion: 2.5 out of 5 – This was okay. There were some nice bumps and some good spots, but this was mostly Tessa “Screw Every-Body Else” Blanchard performing the whole match by herself.

Match #2: Rhino vs. Taurus (No Contest)

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Taurus takes out the knee of Rhino, then hits a Shining Wizard. Taurus heads to the top and misses a dive, giving Rhino a chance to build momentum. Rhino battles back with a series of chops, followed by a running clothesline. Out of nowhere, Moose hits the ring and attacks both Rhino and Taurus, ending the match in a No Contest.

My Opinion: 3.4 out of 5 – This was really good. These two guys work well together. Think of this like the Samoa Joe/Rhino matches from earlier TNA Wrestling, due to the stocky tough guy brawling/slams these two threw around like potato skanks in a French Fry w—–house. Taurus is like Mantaur if Mantaur was Dr. Death Steve Williams and Rick Steiner in a bull mask. For a match that didn’t get to finish what it started, due to another lame Moose attack angle, this was pretty damn good.

Match #3: Rosemary vs Susie Ends (No Contest)

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Next up is Susie’s in-ring debut as she competes against Rosemary in a friendly exhibition. Rosemary believes that a match will allow Susie to finally find what she’s been looking for. This may be her best opportunity yet as James Mitchell and Havok are laid out in the back. Susie doesn’t want to fight but Rosemary tries to provoke her. Rosemary slaps her in the face with Su Yung’s bloody glove. Susie finally slaps and goes on the attack. They brawl around ringside, up the ramp and into the backstage area. Susie fights Rosemary up the same staircase in which Su Yung was hung by Havok on a prior tour of Mexico City. It becomes clear that Rosemary is trying to revert Susie back into her former persona, Su Yung. Rosemary ties the noose around Susie’s neck, causing her to have a revelation. Susie transforms into Su Yung as Havok appears and looks on in shock. Later on, Father James Mitchell finds Rosemary and Havok laid out while Su Yung is nowhere to be found.

My Opinion: 0.1 out of 5 – This was a terrible match that was just a f—— angle. Skip this s—.

Match #4: TJP w/ Fallah Bahh def. Vikingo

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Vikingo hits a springboard Spear, then sends TJP to the floor with a corkscrew head scissors. Vikingo launches himself off the apron with a Shooting Star Press. TJP regains control by driving Vikingo gut-first into his knees, followed by a slingshot Senton. In an amazing visual, Vikingo jumps over the corner ring post and crashes into TJP on the outside. TJP connects with a Tombstone Piledriver, followed by his signature splash off the top for a near fall. TJP catches Vikingo on the ropes and locks in a modified STF, forcing him to submit.

My Opinion: 4.4 out of 5 – This was the exact opposite of the last match. Remember how I said you’d know what was the great match? Here you f—— go. Now this was a great one. These fighters managed to merge lucha with MMA, so much so that both were happening at the same time. The spots were never too over-powering and the risks taken were always calculated and important. There’s so much great wrestling here, not performing, wrestling, that you might just burst into little, itty-bitty, tiny pieces just thinking about it, let alone watching it. I’m gonna borrow from 411mania’s Larry Csonka: Put This S— In My Veiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins! By the way, here’s a spoiler alert: here’s your f—— match of the week.

Match #5: Daga & Dr. Wagner Jr def. oVe (Jake & Dave Crist) w/ Madman Fulton

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Jake hits Daga with a Death Valley Driver in the early going but it doesn’t phase him. Daga comes right back at Jake with a Death Valley Driver of his own. Daga tags in the AAA legend Dr Wagner Jr and he goes on the attack. Wagner hits a flurry of suplex’s before tagging Daga back in for a Brainbuster on Jake. oVe connect with a double team foot stomp on Daga but Wagner breaks up the pin attempt. Wagner dives off the apron into Jake while Daga plants Dave on his head to win.

My Opinion: 2.6 out of 5 – Daga and Wagner were fun, but the Crists just weren’t able to meet their own bar this time.

Match #6: (Main Event) Ace Austin def. Tommy Dreamer – Falls Count Anywhere Street Fight

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Dreamer hits a suplex on the ramp. Dreamer grabs a selection of weapons and hits Ace over the head with a crutch. They brawl into the crowd and amongst the fans. Ace gains control by launching himself off the lower bowl into Tommy at ringside. Dreamer traps Ace’s arm in a chair and connects with a Con-chair-to. Ace busts Dreamer open with his laminated card. Dreamer drives a chair into the heart of Ace with an elbow drop. Dreamer hits a DDT for a near fall. Dreamer is in total control when he drives Ace through a table with a running Powerslam but somehow, Ace kicks out. Ace turns it around with a Backstabber. Dreamer balances on a ladder between the ropes but Ace clobbers him with his baton and connects with The Fold off the top to win.

My Opinion: 3.2 out of 5 – This was a very long match that went along very slowly, but also had a great performance from Ace. Tommy is a far cry from his ECW days, but at least he tries. Over-all, Ace did a great job and got the win in the main event.

News Of The Night:

  1. Rhino will get a singles rematch against Moose, February 22nd at Sacrifice on IMPACT Plus.
  2. Michael Elgin’s Best of Five Series against Eddie Edwards continues next week on IMPACT!
  3. Willie Mack fights Shera next week, after Johnny Swinger tried to challenge the Desi Hit Squad to fight his new “team” with Willie Mack called the Mack And Pack Connection, but got scared and sold his (non-official partner) out.
  4. Taya Valkyrie fights Jordynne Grace for the Knockout’s Title, next week.
  5. Su Yung was brought back to life by Rosemary choking her with the rope that killed her (on the same stairwell as well), which prompted James Mitchell to proclaim “we’re doomed”.
  6. The North attacked Vikingo to continue the feud with him and push one with TJP/Fallah Bahh.
  7. Rob Van Dam and Joey Ryan brawled (well, RVD attacked Ryan, anyway), to continue the feud of who’s d— is bigger.

Final Verdict: 3.5/5

The TJP/Vikingo match and the main event going almost twenty minutes helped bring this show to the 3.5.

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