‘All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite’ Review (Feb 5th 2020)

Welcome to this week’s All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and my ass hurts…’cuz I can’t get enough of your love, baby. Ha! You know what that joke’s all about…the I.R.S. No matter where you are in this world, you’ve heard of the U.S.A’s I.R.S program. Gimme da’ money, honey! Okay, Cody Rhodes is letting MJF whip him so he can get what he wants. Yeah, that sounds like sex stuff to me too.

Match #1: Jon Moxley defeated Ortiz

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Moxley has been #1 in the AEW rankings for nine straight weeks, and tonight he was wrestling with only one good eye. Before the match began the Huntsville crowd was chanting “Moxley! Moxley! Moxley!” Le Champion Chris Jericho walked out with Jake Hager and Sammy Guevara, and they joined the broadcast team for the match. Mox exploded like a Molotov cocktail, stopping a boot from Ortiz and then pummeling him with knees. Ortiz reacted quickly with a DDT and a head butt. He threw Mox into the metal ring steps on the outside of the ring. Jericho said, “This is not some gimmick for Ortiz and Santana. They are literally street thugs from the Bronx.” Ortiz put a camel clutch on Mox and then raked his forearm across Mox’s injured eye. Mox fought out with stiff forearms of his own, but Ortiz blocked it and countered with a power bomb. This time Mox had a counter of his own and applied a figure four-leg lock to Ortiz. Mox tossed Ortiz outside the ring, and then hit a tope suicida onto Santana! “Moxley has an eye behind his head, he’s an animal, but we have a strategy for REVOLUTION!” said Jericho. Ortiz used some tiger claws on Moxley, and then took flight with a splash off the top rope for a near fall. Ortiz then used a fisherman’s suplex on Mox, good for just a two count on Mox. Mox reversed a lariat from Ortiz, and followed up with the Paradigm Shift for the victory!

My Opinion: 3.4 out of 5 – This was a pretty fun brawl with some actual wrestling every now and then. If you ever wondered what it would be like to Dennis Hopper from Waterworld wrestle a match, this was your lucky day. I never thought I’d live to see a bar-room brawl get a billion dollar budget, but here we are (minus Pee-Wee Herman). My Bike! I found my bike! Like Gordon Lightfoot in a heavy-handed world, this match felt a little top-heavy, as it was more about the brawl then a full match, but I suppose this was seen as something of a grudge, thanks to the Inner Circle poking Moxley in the eye with a spike. Okay, enough of this s—.

Match #2: SCU defeated Best Friends

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Trent and Frankie locked up, with Frankie taking his opponent down with a side headlock. The two exchanged chops to the chest, but Frankie starched Trent with a right hand. Sky was tagged in and was met with a shoulder tackle from Chuckie T., but Sky got big air with a dropkick to “the Kentucky Gentleman.” Sky gave an over-the-top cutter to Chuckie, but Trent hit a spear on Sky! Kazarian grabbed Trent and connected with a wicked German suplex onto the floor. Back in the ring, it was Frankie with the assisted swinging DDT onto Trent. The Best Friends pulled out a “sole food half and half combination” and it was Best Friends back in the driver’s seat! They were looking for Strong Zero, but SCU reversed it with the Yoshi Tonic for the pin fall!

My Opinion: 3.2 out of 5 – This was another fun tag match, but this felt like a WWE-repeat thing, where it already seems too visited by the bookers. That’s a real complicated way of saying “Book some-thing else, damn it!” SCU’s name sounds like “Skoo”. Skoo whooped the Bosom Buddy’s asses so hard that Peter Scolari got sober. That’s right! F— ‘em! I liked this, but it needed some work to make it more than just match number two (more mat work worth talking about might help).

Match #3: Yuka Sakazaki defeated Dr. Britt Baker

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Baker used her height advantage to place an arm bar on Sakazaki, and then whipped her into the corner turnbuckle. Baker used both hands to throttle Yuka Sakazaki around the throat. Sakazaki used leg scissors, and then the Magical Girl Splash to the outside onto Baker! Baker was stunned, and Sakazaki followed up with a clothesline. The two began exchanging strikes, but Baker stopped it with a thrust kick! Baker went for Lock Jaw, but Sakazaki escaped with a rollup for the pin!

My Opinion: 2.3 out of 5 – This wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t interesting either. The right woman won, but since the loser is the bigger star, it does put a damper on the result, just a tad.

Match #4: The Lucha Bros, The Butcher & The Blade defeated The Elite

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

“Hangman” Page didn’t wait for the Elite, coming down to the ring without them. Page lit up the Blade with chops and then a big boot. Page tagged in Omega who worked over the Blade with tandem offense. “Good continuity by the champs,” said Jim Ross. The Elite isolated the Blade in the corner, with quick tags in and out. The Bucks and Omega hit a triple dropkick on the Butcher, while Page merely watched from the ring apron. Nick Jackson single-handedly took out both members of the Lucha Bros on the outside of the ring! Nick tagged in Matt who hit locomotion Northern Lights suplexes on Fenix. Omega got the tag, but Fenix jumped off Omega’s shoulders to take down Matt. The Lucha Bros double-teamed Omega, and then tagged in the Butcher, who hammered down on Omega. The Butcher used a backbreaker on Omega, but Omega used a hurracanrana and then got the tag to Page who cleaned house! The crowd was chanting “Cowboy S—t! Cowboy S—t!” Page wiped out all four members of the opposition with a moonsault to the outside! Excalibur noted that it appeared Page tweaked his knee on the landing. Omega dished out snapdragon suplexes to the Blade and Fenix! The Young Bucks connected with assisted Sliced Bread on the Butcher! Page came in with the Buckshot Lariat, and then used a fall away slam on the Butcher. Page was clutching his knee again. The Bucks wanted to tag in, but Page turned away from them. The Lucha Bros hit their finishing combo on “Hangman,” and Pentagon pinned him.

My Opinion: 3.8 out of 5 – This was a fine, fabulous tag match that went for a while and delivered enough action to keep it going strong until the final bell. Don’t go looking for the match of the year here, but you will have a good time. Page did his heel s— here (I hope they just leave him be). Omega was at his best here and was the star of the match. It’s about damn time he felt like a big deal again and Omega made it happen. Hell, they all did good here. I think you’ll dig this right down to the bottom and all the way to the other side.

Match #5: (Main Event) Kip Sabian defeated Joey Janela

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

It began like a hockey fight, with both men slugging away at one another. Kip kicked Janela square in the face. The “Bad Boy” lit up Sabian’s chest with chops, and then dropped him with a back suplex for a near fall. Sabian and Janela took turns kicking each other in the back, as if they were daring one another, but Sabian called an audible and applied a sleeper on Janela. The “Bad Boy” fought out and connected with a palm strike to Sabian’s throat. Sabian took out Janela with a basement dropkick. On the outside, Penelope Ford slammed Janela’s head into the ring steps. She clawed at his eyes as her boyfriend Kip Sabian kicked Janela. “The story of this match is how Penelope has intervened on behalf of Kip Sabian,” said Excalibur. Janela turned his back for a mere moment and was kicked in the face by Sabian. Janela had Sabian scouted on the next move, though, as he caught Sabian in the air and suplexed him on the outside! Sabian and Janela got in another slugfest, but after a head and shoulder misdirection fake, Sabian DDT’ed Janela. Penelope Ford locked lips with Sabian, and it was enough to distract Janela. Sabian rolled up Janela for the dirty victory!

My Opinion: 3 out of 5 – This turned out well enough, but it was a bit too much posturing for me, especially for a match that was the main event (well, the lashing was the main event, but angles don’t count as main events). Janela has been hosed in AEW so far. Whose leg does Joey have to hump to win a match in AEW? I’m glad Sabian got to win for a change, but since the booking didn’t do much with the aftermath of this match, this was just a finish that faded from memory too quickly.

News Of The Night:

1. Cody Rhodes got his ten lashes from MJF in a well-performed waste of time that would have been much better in a press conference and not on the show itself (even just after a match would have been better).
2. PAC had Nyla Rose decimate RIHO after Kenny Omega agreed to a 30-Minute Iron-Man Match at Double Or Nothing.
3. Christopher Daniels saved Orange Cassidy from The Dark Order after he spurned their offer to join.
4. Jon Moxley poked out Santana’s eye, which led to the two having a match, next week.
5. Britt Baker attacked Yuki Sakazaki with the time-keeper’s bell after the match they had.
6. Darby Allin used a flame-thrower on Inner Circle merchandise in a cool promo.
7. Kenny Omega & Adam Page fight SCU, next week.
8. RIHO fights Nyla Rose for the AEW Women’s Title, next week.
9. A Tag Team Battle Royal happens in two weeks.
10. Cody Rhodes fights Wardlow in a Steel Cage in two weeks.

Final Verdict: 3.4/5

This was a fun show that was a bit dull, but had its moments.