02nd Feb2020

‘All Elite Wrestling: Dark’ Review (Jan 28th 2020)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s review of All Elite Wrestling: Dark, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have a power-outage. Get it? Dark…no power! I’m a freakin’ genius! Okay, bask in my stupid glow.

aew-dark-header

Match #1: Nyla Rose defeated Shanna – Tables Match

My Opinion: 2.5 out of 5 – Hey, somebody went through the table, so I’m happy. This was a dull match, but the table did its job, so that’s why Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood has been gentrified, so all the black people go poof and disappear. Okay, this match was okay and I’m tired of talking about it.

Match #2: Kip Sabian defeated QT Marshall

My Opinion: 2.3 out of 5 – Kip was good here and QT sucked. QT…that’s a f—— pharmacy item. Kip did really well, but the match just wasn’t enough.

Match #3: (Main Event) Dark Order defeated Brandon Cutler and Sonny Kiss

My Opinion: 2.3 out of 5 – Wait a minute…Sonny Kiss still works here?! Why the f— isn’t he on AEW: Dynamite? Who does Kiss have to blow to get on TV? Well at least he got to be in this match, which isn’t saying much, but it works. Cutler did well here as well, so you just know that this is a bunch of bull-s— and this match was like watching paint dry…in The Birdcage.

Final Verdict: 1.8/5

This was a lame show. I’d rather AEW just do one great dark match that takes-up thirty minutes and leave it at that.

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