07th Jan2020

WWE Raw – Jan 6th 2020: Results & Review

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Monday Night Raw review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and…is this the first Raw of 2020? I don’t remember. Donald Trump killed that military leader from Iran. How are we supposed to have peace any-where when you keep killing people? What a mess. If you’re reading this, then just remember that violence ain’t the answer to a damn thing. Okay, let’s watch some violence.

2018-raw-logo

Match #1: Andrade def. Rey Mysterio – WWE United States Championship Match

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

For Rey Mysterio, his bout with Andrade was about reclaiming his United States Title, his own personal pride and his position as the preeminent Latino representative of the WWE Universe. He’ll have to settle for two out of three. Rey certainly reaffirmed his legend status and fought the good fight against his rival, but thanks to some dirty pool from Andrade and Zelina Vega, The Ultimate Underdog was narrowly swindled out of the title. La Muñeca threw herself into the proceedings when Mysterio scored what would have been a match-ending pinfall by placing Andrade’s foot on the ropes to nullify the victory and force a restart of the bout. She again came into play when she caught some inadvertent contact from Mysterio during a ringside scrap, a collision that left the masked Superstar visibly distraught. Andrade capitalized anyway, hitting Mysterio with the Hammerlock DDT to win the match.

My Opinion: 3.6 out of 5 – This was a bit stifled by some booking non-sense, but the wrestling itself received plenty of time over-all and was good s—.

Match #2: The Viking Raiders def. The Street Profits and The O.C. – Triple Threat Match For The Raw Tag Team Championship

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The Street Profits came to Raw looking to “change the conversation” in their Triple Threat bid for the Raw Tag Team Titles. They certainly did that, opening plenty of eyes against reigning champs The Viking Raiders and persistent contenders The O.C., only falling short thanks to a narrow failure to close. Even though the Profits went home empty-handed, it was hard to argue they weren’t one of the driving forces of the match, as the Raiders and the good brothers had to adapt to them on the fly. Montez Ford went move-for-move with the fleet-footed Ivar early in the match and Angelo Dawkins nearly sealed a win singlehandedly down the stretch. But a behind-the-back tag from Karl Anderson took the Profits out of action and instigated a massive brawl that only ended when Anderson got caught with a massive splash from Ivar, who scored for the win for his team. The Street Profits did indeed change the conversation. The focus, however, remains the same.

My Opinion: 3.4 out of 5 – This was a fun lark…lark? Kiss my ass. Now I’m one of those losers that say “lark”. Damn it. This computer won’t let me delete anything you know! The damn TalkTech will record me farting ten towns over, but I can’t get rid of one measly “lark”! Okay, this was pretty fun, with The O.C. having a good time doing their version of David Cronenberg’s “Crash”. Yeah, picture that. The Street Profits worked hard and are getting better, but the other guys were the thing to see. Like crashing cars to get off, this was a lot of fun.

Match #3: Erick Rowan def. KJ Orso

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

The former SmackDown Tag Team Champion stacked another doomed local atop his pile of conquests.

My Opinion: 1.4 out of 5 – The chokeslam was nice…for a SQUAAAAAAAAAASH! I hate these f—— squashes like I hate vegans! Shut the f— up and have some steak b—-! I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be rude, but squash matches are just a waste of time (most of the time). I should hold my temper better. All in all, this match sucked…just like those G—damn vegans! Where’s the beef?

Match #4: AJ Styles def. Akira Tozawa

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Filed under matches you never thought you’d see: Akira Tozawa vs. AJ Styles, a completely random pairing that turned into a rout thanks in part to Styles’ lingering anger over his rivalry with Randy Orton. Styles landed an early Phenomenal Forearm against Tozawa but, unwilling to end the match there, opted to play with his food by executing his own variation of The Viper’s hanging DDT and an impressive RKO. Unsurprisingly, Styles scored the victory.

My Opinion: 2.7 out of 5 – Waaaaaaaaaaay too short. Why would you book this to be a squash? In any other league, this would be a marquee bout, but not in Bull-S— Land. Ricky Gervais told Hollywood to take your little award and get off the f—— stage. Vince…take your little Lincoln log and get off the f—— stage.

Match #5: Drew McIntyre def. No Way Jose

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

Prayers up for No Way Jose, who simply never stood a chance against a Drew McIntyre who has more or less decided he’s simply incapable of losing anything ever again. In the two previous weeks, Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins found themselves eating a face full of boot. This week, Jose was quickly sent tumbling in their footsteps, bulldozed by a Claymore after only a brief burst of offense.

My Opinion: 1.3 out of 5 – This was another lame squash that was saved by Drew just killing any-body he felt like. This actually made Drew look cool and tough, so it did quite a bit of good. The match sucked, but the effect it will have on Drew for the future might just turn his latest WWE run into some-thing he can make some real money with.

Match #6: Aleister Black def. Shelton Benjamin

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

With Buddy Murphy seemingly in his rearview mirror, Aleister Black began Raw in search of worlds to conquer and chins to cave in. In terms of someone with whom to pick a fight, you could certainly do worse than Shelton Benjamin. Indeed, Black’s opponents have been notable lately for actually living up to the standards The Dutch Destroyer sets for those who come knocking on his door, and Benjamin was no exception, deadlifting Black out of an omoplata into a modified suplex. Black, however, has been notable for winning those matches anyway, and he did so here as he has so many times prior.

My Opinion: 2.8 out of 5 – This was far too short, but the match they went for was so damn good, that the brief window of time is the only reason this isn’t getting a much higher score. There’s a great mixture of shooting and clinches/strikes that really gave this a lot of heft to it. These two should get more time in a re-match.

Match #7: (Main Event) – Kevin Owens, Samoa Joe & Big Show def. Seth Rollins & AOP (Disqualification)

The following is courtesy of wwe.com:

When you’re looking for a third man to battle Seth Rollins & AOP, you go big. Literally. Kevin Owens and Samoa Joe took their seven days of lead time to recruit none other than Big Show to their cause, unveiling The World’s Largest Athlete at the last possible second in a main-event bout against “The Monday Night Messiah” and his two disciples. And even though the makeshift trio of heavy-hitters only got the win via disqualification when Rollins smashed Show in the back with a chair when he was ready to double-chokeslam AOP, selecting Big Show was still a wise choice.

My Opinion: 2.3 out of 5 – This was standard fare from a league that didn’t know what to do to end the show. I have no qualms with having these guys be in the main event with this six-man tag, but the action was lame. You have all that talent and you just pay them to spin the wheels for ten minutes? These kinds of dumb decisions are why Impact gets more viewership on here than WWE. That’s right. You ain’t dumb for liking other leagues. This was a waste of a promising bout that could have been a real thrill, but was instead just Mambo Number 7.

News Of The Night:

  1. Bobby Lashley told Lana to shut up after marrying her in a second ceremony this week.
  2. Liv Morgan is still interested in Rusev.
  3. Brock Lesnar is entering the Royal Rumble at number 1.
  4. Drew McIntyre has turned tweener and will be in the Royal Rumble.
  5. Andrade stole Rey Mysterio’s mask and was assaulted by Rey later when Rey got his mask back.
  6. Becky Lynch (in Bruce Lee colors) jaw-jacked with Asuka (who cussed in Japanese…I think).
  7. Big Show returned as a Raw roster member.
  8. Charlotte Flair and Sarah Logan brawled like crazy and both got over.
  9. Erick Rowan’s cage buddy is teased as being a hideous creature that shoots red s— on people (could be Vince in that cage).
  10. Buddy Murphy attacked Aleister Black.
  11. AJ Styles fights Randy Orton, next week.
  12. Aleister Black fights Buddy Murphy, next week.
  13. Bobby Lashley fights Rusev, next week.
  14. Kevin Owens, Samoa Joe & Big Show fight Seth Rollins & AOP in a Fist Fight Match, next week.
  15. Brock Lesnar will be back, next week.

Final Verdict: 2.8/5

When the show focused on wrestling, it was good. When the show focused on talking, it was bad. Go figure.

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