18th Dec2019

‘Impact Wrestling’ Review (Dec 17th 2019)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s Impact Wrestling review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have MacGarnickle, the world’s most available detective. Well MacGarnickle, Billy’s dead! The triad chopped his f—— head off! Ewwwwwww!!!!!!! Not while I’m eating! That’s what justice is all about. Anyway, there’s some good wrestling here, so get you Kaley Cuoco underwear and…mmmmmmmmm. Dammmmmmmmmmn. Okay, we’ve got a good show to get to, so le…mmmmmmmmm. Dammmmmmmmmmn.

impact-wrestling-header

Match #1: Jordynne Grace def. Tenille Dashwood

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Jordynne catches Tenille in mid-air and hits a delayed vertical suplex. Tenille connect with a legsweep for a one count. Tenille hangs up Jordynne in the ropes with a neckbreaker. Tenille locks in the Tarantula, doing some damage before the referee forces her to break the hold. Jordynne hits a thunderous Spinebuster for a near fall. Tenille counters a Grace Driver attempt from Tenille but gets caught with a clothesline instead. Tenille connects with a butterfly suplex for a very close near fall. Jordynne rolls up Tenille to win.

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was a fabulous effort for the time given…and just in general. There’s a lot of lightning-fast technical wrestling here and I loved it! I loved it! I loved it! I loved it! That’s Molly Shannon, dude. I can say dude. Hey, at least I didn’t say “My dude”. What a stupid phrase. These guys worked each over like an old-school World Of Sport bout, which I got a kick out of. Now, that’s not to say it looks like a true European mat classic, but the attempt is there and they get a lot farther into that style than you might have expected. I was really thrilled with this and, while the finish was too sudden and a bit of an anti-climax, this was still one worth talking about, for all the right reasons.

Match #2: TJP w/ Fallah Bahh def. Daga

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

TJP gains the early advantage with a quick dropkick. Daga rolls him up for a two count but TJP counters into a head scissors to begin wearing Daga down. It’s a stalemate after both men hit in-sync dropkicks. Daga hits a Sunset Flip Powerbomb from the ramp, over the top rope and into the ring. Daga connects with a running senton for a near fall. TJP shows his speed and agility with a Hurricanrana into the Cross Armbreaker. TJP takes Daga off the top with a Superplex, followed by the Detonation Kick for a very close near fall. TJP locks in a submission, forcing Daga to tap.

My Opinion: 4 out of 5 – This was a long, dense match that was quite fantastic. There was so much wrestling in here that it made the long time limit feel like it got to last even longer. This was an X-Division match all the way, but this was in the elite of that style. These guys went for the gold all the way (that’s a reference to the Olympics…and to Copa…Copacabana!). That all being said, there was plenty of smart mat work here, with the submissions getting a shot at making a mark as well. I just thought this was great.

Match #3: Ethan Page w/ Josh Alexander def. Rich Swann w/ Willie Mack (Disqualification)

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Alexander distracts the referee in the early going. Willie gets up on the apron to try and thwart his efforts but it ends up costing his partner as The North is able to hit a double team maneuver on Swann. Page continues to wear down Swann with a variety of offense. Swann creates some distance with a big clothesline. He continues the flurry with a cartwheel splash for a two count. Page sends Swann flying with a huge powerslam off the top, followed by a high-risk Swanton. Swann aims for Page when he flies over the top but Alexander pushes him out of the way, sacrificing himself for his tag team partner. Page gets in Willie’s face at ringside, causing Willie to attack him. The referee calls for the bell, ending the match in disqualification.

My Opinion: 3.4 out of 5 – This was a quite good for a ten minute match that didn’t even have a good finish. The action was always kept going at a good pace and both guys always looked like they wanted to win. Page was particularly strong here, with some of his best character work in a long time. This was a good one, despite ending too quickly for my taste.

Match #4: Joey Ryan def. Acey Romero

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Before the match begins, Johnny Swinger joins Don Callis and Josh Mathews on commentary. Acey hits a big running splash. Acey loses his balance and falls on the Joey’s crotch but it ends up hurting Acey instead. Joey pulls a lollipop out of his pants but Acey redirects it into the referee’s mouth. Swinger gets involved and makes Acey touch his fanny pack but it’s nothing compared the power of “it”. Joey flips Acey with “it”, puts another lollipop into the mouth of Acey and hits him with Sweet Tooth Music to win.

My Opinion: 1.6 out of 5 – Joey and Acey could have wrestled a much longer match, but they got stuck with a couple of minutes of suck…poor bastards.

Match #5: (Main Event) Ace Austin def. Petey Williams

The following is courtesy of impactwrestling.com:

Petey hits a slingshot Hurricanrana to the floor. Ace regains control with a superkick. Ace is looking to cut Petey with the laminated card but Petey reverses into a pinning attempt for a near fall. Petey goes for the Canadian Destroyer but this time it’s Ace who counters into the Bangorama. Ace puts Petey away with The Fold.

My Opinion: 3.4 out of 5 – This was pretty damn good for the ten minutes it went for. These two had an easy time making the match cohesive and…once you say cohesive, the thrill is gone. Petey is always there to make sure the X-Division is getting along well. I can’t believe he had to retire early just to make a living. We’re all lucky he chose to come back to the sport. Ace is the perfect sort of person to put the X-Division on the shoulders of. I’m not making much sense no, but this match does. I want a glass of better daughter! This was a good match.

News Of The Night:

  1. Suzie/Su Yung has the power of mega-screams.
  2. Moose and Rhino are fighting at Hard To Kill because Moose disrespected Rhino.
  3. Sami Callihan and Tessa Blanchard had a big brawl.
  4. Rob Van Dam and Brian Cage brawled.
  5. The North is still trying to get Willie Mack to betray Rich Swann.

Final Verdict: 3.6/5

There was a lot of good wrestling on an imperfect show that was still fun to watch.

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