14th Nov2019

‘All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite’ Review (Nov 13th 2019)

by Nathan Favel

Welcome to this week’s All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite review, right here on Nerdly. I’m Nathan Favel and we have Cher. No, we don’t. American Horror Story: 1984 was pretty good. I hope this is better than that Lana/Rusev promo from Raw. That shouldn’t be too hard.

aew-dynamite-poster-2

Match #1: Jon Moxley defeated Michael Nakazawa

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Nakazawa tried to avenge his friend Kenny Omega’s loss, and charged Moxley before Moxley could even remove his ring jacket. That only angered Moxley, who nailed Nakazawa with the Paradigm Shift for a fast and furious victory. “Moxley doesn’t get paid by the hour,” said Jim Ross.

My Opinion: 1.3 out of 5 – $#!+…a squash. This was as bad as it would have been in the WWE. Why? Damn it.

Match #2: Dark Order defeated Jurassic Express

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Jungle Boy dropped Grayson off his feet, and tagged in Marko who delivered a frankensteiner and then a cannonball senton off Jungle Boy’s back onto Grayson for a near fall. Evil Uno was tagged in and isolated Marko Stunt and landed with a senton onto Stunt, who managed to squeeze out of a two-count. Grayson was tagged in and gave a huge senton of his own to Stunt. Eventually Jungle Boy was tagged in and he cleaned house on the Dark Order, even hitting a back flipping knee drop onto both members of the team. Jurassic Express utilized tandem offense sending the Dark Order to the outside, but the Dark Order blocked a tope. Dark Order executed the Fatality finisher on Marko Stunt for a decisive victory over a winless Jurassic Express.

My Opinion: 3.2 out of 5 – This was a good match that could have been a bit more exciting if Evil Uno didn’t wrestle like a Jello shot with feet. I hate the fat jokes, but Kevin Steen/Owens found a way to be fat and wrestle like a pro, so why can’t Uno? In any case, this was a fun excursion into WWE territory…wait, that’s bad. WWE territory? AEW apparently was not interested in Joey Ryan’s popular d—-flip, but they’ll bring the dinosaur joke from “Step Brothers” on TV and expect it to draw? Okay. I like everyone here, including Uno, but this goofy horse-s— isn’t going to cut it.

Match #3: Darby Allin defeated Shawn Spears & Peter Avalon – Triple Threat Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Darby used a beautiful arm drag on Spears, and then a dropkick on Avalon. Darby went to the top rope but Spears knocked him off and began stomping on him. Spears then directed his attention to Avalon, and a crazed Joey Janela ambushed Spears. “The Bad Boy” Joey Janela and Spears brawled out into the crowd, leaving just Darby and Avalon in the ring. Darby hit a stunner and then a lethal-looking Coffin Drop on Avalon for the three count!

My Opinion: 2.2 out of 5 – This was, essentially, a waste of time, but Darby won, so there’s that. This was a three minute reason not to randomly book a Triple Threat to last for three minutes. The other guys looked like chumps next to the guy that is being pushed. Hey, according to professional wrestling, I don’t know what I’m talking about. Oh, Shawn Spears was here, because they felt bad for ignoring him for the past few weeks. Jeez. I’m going full-b—- tonight, aren’t I?

Match #4: Nyla Rose defeated Dani Jordyn

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

Jordyn found out quickly that you can’t stand and trade punches with Nyla Rose. “The Native Beast” was intent on making an example of her opponent, and quickly dispatched of Jordyn with a massive powerbomb for the victory.

My Opinion: 1.6 out of 5 – Squash matches just get random scores. They nearly always suck ass. This one sucked too.

Match #5: PAC defeated Adam Page

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

PAC hit Page with a high kick and then spinning kicks, and then flew over the top to the outside of the ring onto Page. PAC climbed back up to the top rope and hit a moonsault to the outside onto Page! PAC went for Black Arrow but Page avoided it, then hit the tope suicida and a powerbomb on PAC for the two count! They traded punches in the center of the ring. Jim Ross compared PAC to the Dynamite Kid with his similar physique and brutal delivery of ring maneuvers. PAC delivered a dropkick from the top rope to the back of Page’s head. Page connected with a high-risk move of his own, crashing onto PAC. Hangman went for the Buckshot but it was blocked, but then hit a Stan Hansen-like lariat onto PAC. An enziguri from PAC was only good for a two count on Page. They went outside and Page gave PAC a brainbuster on the floor! Page hit the Buckshot and almost scored the win, but PAC kicked out. PAC got two pump kicks in on Page and then stomped the back of Page’s head. The referee ordered PAC to stop, as Page seemed unable to defend himself. PAC went up for the Black Arrow and then applied the Brutalizer to an unconscious Page for the win.

My Opinion: 4 out of 5 – Finally, we’re back to normal. This is what AEW needs to stay on the air. The rubber match went over as well as it could have outside of being match of the year. PAC winning was the right call, as he’s got a rocket-ship up his ass that’s been there for most of his career and it seems to be ready to blast his ass off to the moon. This was all kinds of kick-ass. Did I say “ass” at all? I don’t think I did. In any case, this is right on the money.

Match #6: (Main Event) SCU defeated Chris Jericho & Sammy Guevara – All Elite Wrestling World Tag Team Championship Match

The following is courtesy of allelitewrestling.com:

The tag titles were on the line tonight. Kazarian and Jericho locked up in the center of the ring, and Kazarian took him over with some lightning quick arm drags. He followed up with a dropkick on Le Champion, and Jericho crawled over to tag in Sammy Guevara. SCU displayed a nice sequence of offense on Sammy Guevara. Finally Jericho was tagged in and began to work over Kazarian. He executed a backbreaker on Kazarian, and then stood on top of him and flexed. A rested Sammy was tagged in, and was able to take down Kazarian with an impressive dropkick. Guevara hit a standing Spanish fly on Kazarian, but then missed with the shooting star press! Sky was tagged in and hit a beautiful dropkick of his own on Sammy. Sky hit a modified spinebuster on Sammy G. On the outside, Hager wiped out Kazarian, and then caught Christopher Daniels midflight! Scorpio Sky his a Lou Thesz Press on Jericho and then the T.K.O. for the two count on Le Champion! Sky blocked the lionsault from Jericho! Jericho hit the code breaker but Scorpio Sky rolled up Jericho for the pinfall, delivering Jericho his first loss in AEW!

My Opinion: 3.5 out of 5 – This was a fabulous match that stopped short of greatness, but delivered a smart prize fight that had Scorpio Sky coming out of it looking the best he’s looked in his career. I guess The Elite are really high on his potential as a main eventer. Hell, Sky pinned Jericho. That’s a big push for Sky. That being said, everybody looked really good here. I liked this and I wish the whole show would have been this smartly booked.

News Of The Night:

  1. Jon Moxley fights Darby Allin, next week.
  2. The Dark Order tried to recruit Marko Stunt into the faction, but Luchasaurus heled put a stop to that.
  3. Joey Janela and Shawn Spears brawled to continue their feud.
  4. A brawl between The Young Bucks and Proud And Powerful (s— name, for them any-way) led to Private Party coming to the Bucks rescue, which set up Private Party fighting Proud And Powerful for next week.
  5. Dustin Rhodes will return in a few weeks from his injury (broken arm).
  6. A 12 Man Battle Royal happens, next week for a shot at a diamond ring (not a marriage proposal).
  7. Brandi Rhodes sicked Awesome Kong on Allie and took some of her hair.
  8. MJF appears to have joined the Inner Circle (bad porno reference), along with Wardlow, who debuted to help the former two attack Cody Rhodes.
  9. Scorpio Sky is the first person to beat Chris Jericho in AEW (possible title shot for Sky…maybe).

Final Verdict: 3.3/5

This felt like a WWE rip-off show most of the way. It’s like AEW knows their better than NXT, so they think they can coast all of a sudden. Good luck with that confidence when you get bought out by Vince McMahon for five bucks. Try harder. Most of this show was worthless, but the last two matches kicked ass.

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